


The City of Light

by OmniAni



Series: Take My Hand And Home We'll Go [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Blood and Gore, Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Reader-Insert, Romance, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-10-19 07:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 53,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17596664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmniAni/pseuds/OmniAni
Summary: Three months have passed, and Y/N Kane and all her friends finally got to live in peace with one exception - Clarke still hasn't returned. When eventually she's discovered, she brings with her the threat of war and something far, far worse. Once again, Y/N and her friends have to fight for their lives. Welcome to season 3 of the 100.





	1. Wanheda - I

**Author's Note:**

> As always, change the pronouns from she/her if you don't identify with that! Hope y'all are ready for the third installation of my Bellamy Blake series!

Three months we've had peace. Or as close to it as we could get. It truly was all I desired. And watching Lincoln beat Bellamy in sparring when I'd defeated the Grounder before was just as good a feeling. I wiped the sweat from my face with my tank-top as I watched Lincoln toss Bellamy to the ground. 

Lincoln turned to us, panting. "He had me, but he was too aggressive." 

"Whatever you say," Bellamy snorted, pulling a shirt on. 

I smiled at him and stifled a laugh as everyone else tittered around me. Bellamy shot me a teasing glare, but I just shrugged. If he lost, he lost. There was no shame in it. Some humor for me and everyone else, but no shame. 

"Mapping run. Sector seven," Bellamy replied. My smile dropped. As much as I loved running missions, I didn't want to risk ruining this peace we'd achieved. "Harper, let's get this over with."

Harper tossed Lincoln a black duffel bag which he caught without even looking. Inside was a guard's jacket. 

"I'm Trikru," Lincoln said, holding the jacket in his hand with a mixture of appreciation and apprehension. 

"A uniform doesn't change that," Bellamy reassured him. "This is our home now, Lincoln. We fought for it. Too many of our friends died for it." 

No truer words could have been said. I missed some of the people we'd lost, but their sacrifices led the rest of us to this life. And I missed Clarke, above all. I didn't know if she was dead or alive, but either way I felt a little more empty without her here. 

"On the Ark, the uniform meant something different," Bellamy continued. "Down here, it means what we make it mean. Together." Lower, speaking directly to Lincoln, he said, "My sister will understand that eventually." 

I sighed. I hoped she did. Octavia had gone full Grounder, and while I respected that I wished she would realize that she was still part of Arkadia. We were all one, now. 

"Everyone, pair up and fight!" Lincoln ordered. 

All my friends did as they were told, but I had to be prepared for the mission, and had sparred as much as I was going to for the day. Bellamy turned to leave, and I caught up with him at the same time Lincoln did. 

"Hey, sector seven?" Lincoln asked. "That puts you right at the Ice Nation border." 

"We know," I said, annoyed. Azgeda was dangerous. I got it. I didn't have to be reminded of that every damn day. We had to take risks to find more of our people. If they were even alive. 

Lincoln shook his head in disbelief. "Just because Azgeda is part of the Commander's coalition doesn't mean they respect the ceasefire. I should be on that scout." 

"I wish. We all do," Bellamy replied, speaking the truth. I felt Lincoln needed to get outside of the gate just as much of the rest of us. "But until the Commander agrees to lift the kill order on you, you're more trouble than you're worth." 

Bellamy left without another word. Shooting Lincoln an apologetic look, I chased after him. 

"Slow down, Bel," I panted, grabbing his arm. "Just because you lost doesn't mean you have to make it up by running everywhere." 

He rolled his eyes and put his arm around my shoulders. "First of all, I didn't lose. I let Lincoln win." 

I bit my cheek to hide a smile. "Mmhm, yeah, sure. What's second of all?" 

Bellamy planted a kiss on my forehead as we rounded a corner heading for the Chancellor's cabin. "Just like to give you little challenges every day. Try keeping up." 

I linked my fingers with his hand that draped over my shoulder, and then bent one of his fingers back in annoyance. "Dating you in itself is a challenge. Keeping up with you is the easy part. It's keeping up with  _me_ that'll be difficult." 

"Oh trust me, I know," Bellamy teased, pulling his arm away. 

I laughed, and followed him into the room where Abby and my father spent most of their time. Dad motioned us in, a finger at his lips. I glanced over at the couch and saw Abby fast asleep. Good. She'd spent so much time keeping busy I worried she'd never sleep again. 

"This is the first sleep the Chancellor's had in two days," Dad whispered. 

"We'll be quick then," Bellamy murmured. "We're going into sector seven. I think we should arm the entire unit."

I nodded in agreement, and slipped my hand into Bellamy's instinctively. I still wasn't sure how my father felt about us being together but he never said anything against it so I assumed he'd be fine. Still, his raised eyebrow annoyed me. 

Dad paused, and then nodded. "Permission granted. But the rules of engagement still apply. Non-lethal response." 

"Copy that," Bellamy replied and turned to leave. 

"Bellamy, Y/n," Dad said, and we turned back around. "There hasn't been an attack since Mount Weather. It's three months. Our people believe this is real peace." 

I believed it too, even if that was rather naive. 

"Try not to screw that up." 

Bellamy nodded, and smiled. "Yes sir." 

With a smile of my own I said, "Don't worry I'll keep him out of trouble." 

Both of them snorted, which was fair. I was probably the one that got into the most trouble. I couldn't help it. Danger had an addicting allure. Living without adrenaline was boring. Though it was rather childish, I stuck my tongue out at them and strutted out of the room, pulling Bellamy along with me. His smile stuck on his face, and he ruffled my hair. Probably because he knew I hated that. 

I slapped his hand away. "Stop that. Time to get serious." 

He shook his head, his smile still lingering. "Yes, firecracker. Whatever you say." 

I lightly punched him on the shoulder. "Shut up. Let's go." 

I pulled on a heavy jacket over my tank-top and laced up my boots. Dressed for a mission, I stuck my knife in my boot, and grabbed a handgun. Over the last couple months, I'd slowly transitioned away from my bow and arrow to guns. Truthfully, I still preferred the bow but I wasn't a Grounder, and for those who wanted to kill me, a bullet was probably more effective at fending them off. But every day I practiced with my bow, and I always carried my dagger. 

Bellamy was ready at about the same time I was and we burst into the garage together, where the rest of our mapping run crew was waiting for us. 

"Monty, why aren't you ready?" Bellamy barked when we walked up to him. 

"I am," he replied, his voice gruff and annoyed. It was so foreign coming from him. I hated it. "He's not." 

Monty gestured to Jasper who was passed out under a table, an empty cup on his chest. He reeked of alcohol and misery. My heart ached. After everything at Mount Weather, he'd changed so much. I missed the Jasper that never failed to lighten my spirits at camp. 

"What should we do?" I asked, staring dejectedly at Jasper's sleeping body. 

Bellamy sighed, arms crossed. "We should leave him this time." 

Monty shook his head, and the despondency in his voice sent a pang of pity through me. Jasper was his best friend. I couldn't imagine how hard it was for him to see Jasper go through this. "He's not getting better. Maya's death broke him. He needs this." 

Exhaling slowly, Bellamy nodded. "Take an arm." 

He and Monty each grabbed one of Jasper's arms and pulled him from under the table. I followed them in silence as they dragged him over to rover. 

"All yours, Monty," Bellamy said, releasing Jasper. 

I grabbed Bellamy's hand and pulled him away from the rover. "Hey, before I forget, there's something I got for you. And you have to love it because it took me a long time to get it." 

Bellamy shook his head, and laughed. "Alright, what's the occasion?" 

I shrugged, and smiled. "Uh, celebrating another riveting mapping mission, duh." 

"Smart-ass." 

I flashed him a smirk as I reached into my pack. "Thank you. Here." 

I handed him a book called  _The Iliad._ It was forgotten and unwanted among some other Mount Weather supplies, so I figured I would take it. Especially since mythology held a special place in Bellamy's heart. His eyes lit up when he took the book in his hands, and warmth tingled through me. Love truly was wonderful, to be able to feel such pleasure just from their smile. 

"You said your mom used to read that to you," I explained. "I thought you'd like it." 

Bellamy smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist. Drawing me in close to him, my heart thudded in my chest. Always so nervous, so happy to be around him. I hoped we stayed in this honeymoon phase forever. He kissed me, long and deep, and I closed my eyes, reveling in it. 

"I love it," he said, when he pulled away. "Thank you." 

"Let's load up," I whispered, heading for the rover. I roughly set my pack down on the back end of the rover, inciting an angry shout from underneath. Raven rolled out from under the rover, an annoyed expression set on her face. 

"Hey! Take it easy!" She shouted. 

"Mornin' to you too," I replied, unloading a gun from the pack and tossing it to Miller, who caught it with ease. A little flair, even. I rolled my eyes. 

"What's the point if we can't even shoot 'em?" Miller asked. 

"We can. Just not to kill," Bellamy answered. "That goes for everyone. Where's Octavia?" 

"We're going outside the wall," Miller scoffed. "You really think she'd miss that?" 

No. Not in a million years. That girl would take any chance to go outside, even if it meant walking straight into the doors of hell. 

Jasper's gasp awake caught my attention. Apparently Monty had tossed a bucket of water over him. 

"Sorry, was that too cold?" He snarled. Again, so unfamiliar. Maya's death had not only changed Jasper, but in turn Monty. It sucked.

Jasper grabbed onto Monty's jacket and spun him around, slamming him against the side of the rover. I narrowed my eyes, ready to step in, but he didn't do anything more. All he did was go for a gun, which wasn't much better, honestly. Thankfully, Bellamy put a hand on his chest, keeping him from grabbing a weapon. 

"No gun for you, not until you're sober," he ordered. 

"Don't want one," Jasper drawled, mock saluting him and then slapping him in the face. Irrational anger burst in my chest. I knew he was going through a rough time, spiraling completely, but still. Anyone harming Bellamy were going to be high on my kill list. Or make their life hell list, anyway. For now, I just resorted to glaring at him. 

"Let's do this," Bellamy said. 

We clambered into the rover, Jasper in shotgun, Raven driving. Bellamy, Monty, Miller, and I hopped in the back. The vehicle whirred to life and as soon as the doors to the hangar opened, Octavia was there waiting for us, sitting atop a horse. 

"Guess we found her," Miller remarked. 

"Try and keep up!" Octavia challenged. 

Raven scoffed and smirked, kicking the rover into drive. 

As we rode through the gates of Arkadia, I leaned my head on Bellamy's shoulder. Mapping runs usually were uneventful, but I had a gut feeling about today. And it was not a good one. 

* * *

I never had the chance to appreciate how beautiful the planet was, amidst all the fighting for my life, the war, the endless worry for my friends. But now that we had some semblance of peace, I could finally take it all in. Green rolled on by as we raced through the forest heading for sector seven. 

Still resting my head on Bellamy's shoulder, I hugged his arm, and smiled softly. His fingers traced circles over my knee in calm, soothing motions. I wanted to talk to him, say things a little more intimate, but other people were in here, and Miller's pained expression warned me not to do anything too romantic. I knew his boyfriend was among the missing. I didn't want to rub salt in the wound. 

"No way," Monty huffed, snapping me away from my thoughts to see him ripping out Jasper's headphones. "If you're gonna ride shotgun you don't get to disappear." 

Jasper didn't say anything, just plugged the music player into the aux of the rover. Monty reached out to yank it back, but I shot my arm out. 

"It's okay. It's a long ride." And I wouldn't mind a little music to fill the heavy silence. 

Spirits lifted in the rover as we began to sing along to the song. Music pulsated in the air, and the beat shook the ground. Smiles grew between the six of us and elation rose. Tension broke and we were just six kids sharing a delightful car-ride.

Singing wasn't what I was the best at, but I certainly loved to do it. As off-key as possible, I sang right into Bellamy's ear. Rolling his eyes, he shoved me away, but I kept going. Miller joined me in being obnoxious, and yet it wasn't as annoying as it should have been. We were all just experiencing bliss through music and the first bit of fun we'd had in a while. 

Rapid beeping shattered our brief moment of enjoyment. I peered into the front seat to see what it was about. 

"A tracking beacon from the Ark!" Monty exclaimed. So there were some of our people still out there. God knows how they survived on their own these past few months, but the original hundred and I had done it, so I didn't see why more skilled members of the Ark couldn't as well. 

"Who is that?" I inquired. 

"Farm station!" 

Miller's voice hitched. "After four months? How?" 

"We'll find out," Bellamy said. "Where are they?" 

The back door of the rover opened to reveal Octavia. "Don't tell me I missed the party." 

"Sector eight," Monty answered Bellamy. 

"That's Ice Nation," Miller noted. 

"What about it?" Octavia asked. 

Raven offered, "Protocol says we go home. Let the Chancellor decide what to do next." 

I shook my head. If there were people out there, we needed to get them now. Especially if they were in Azgeda, the most dangerous place for Sky People at the moment. "Screw protocol. The Chancellor's not from Farm Station. Monty is. So is Miller's boyfriend." 

Miller cast his gaze to the ground, but then looked up with a wall of glass in his eyes. Hope was prevalent, but he didn't want it to be crushed. I knew the feeling. Just as I had always hoped for my father to be alive when I thought he'd crashed on the exodus ship, Miller longed for his boyfriend to still be breathing after all this time. 

"It's your call," I finished, looking between Miller and Monty. 

"Let's do this," Monty said. 

Miller added, "You have to ask?" 

"Try to keep up," Bellamy said to his sister who shot him an annoyed, challenging glare. I realized the two of us were rather similar in that regard. 

Once again, we were off, heading to, hopefully, save more of our people. When we got to the edge of sector seven, we hopped out of the car and stared into the thick wall of trees before us. 

"These woods must be the border," I said.

"So where's all the ice?" Jasper remarked. 

"Much further north," Octavia answered. "Azgeda stretches for a thousand miles."

"Good thing we only have to go two hundred meters," Monty said, staring intently at the monitor that tracked the Farm Station beacon. 

Bellamy stuck his arm out in front of Monty. "Slow down. Remember the rules of engagement are non-lethal force. Tight formation on my command. Raven, you stay in the rover."

She shot him a distasteful glare. "Yeah right. We need every gun we've got."

"They're coming!" Monty warned. "A hundred twenty meters. A hundred and ten." 

Again, Monty headed in their direction, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "What are you doing they're our people-"

"We hope they're our people," I corrected, aiming my gun at the approaching figures. Everyone spread out, raising their guns, or in Octavia's case, her sword. 

As I feared, it wasn't our people. It was Grounders. People from Azgeda. Octavia sheathed her sword and stepped towards them with her hands up. Slowly, I lowered my gun, but I kept it ready to shoot just in case. She had a brief introduction with them before she translated. I was beginning to understand some Trigedasleng, but not nearly enough to communicate fluently. 

"They think we're looking for Wanheda," Octavia murmured. 

"Who's that?" I asked. 

"I don't know."

"The light," Monty nodded towards the chest of the Grounder who'd jumped down from his horse. "That's the beacon." 

My stomach sank. If they had the beacon, then where was Farm Station? Were they dead? Had they killed them? 

Jasper pushed past me, enough to make me stumble into Bellamy who caught me. 

"Hey, get back here!" Monty shouted. 

Raven hissed, "What are you doing?" 

But Jasper didn't listen. He strutted past Octavia straight for the Grounder. 

"Tell them we observe the Commander's truce," Bellamy said frantically to Octavia. "Tell them now!" 

She relayed the message just as Jasper reached the Grounder. He yanked the beacon from around his neck, and clenched it in his fist. "This belongs to us." 

The Grounder yanked Jasper back when he turned and held a sword to his throat, roaring  _Where's Wanheda_ in Trigedasleng. At least I understood that. I still didn't know who or what Wanheda was, though. Something important, clearly. 

Raising my gun, I stepped forward, aiming for the Grounder's arm. 

"Brakim up!" I shouted in choppy Trigedasleng.  _Let him go._

Octavia said something in the Grounder language that I didn't fully understand. But I wasn't focused on that. Instead, I couldn't take my eyes off of Jasper. Smiling. He was smiling. And his eyes were so void of emotion, it made my stomach churn. How could someone be so gleeful with a knife cutting into their neck? 

Bellamy and Raven both fired shots at the man, while I took down one of the others ready to fire an arrow. Octavia finished off the leader with her sword. 

My father's voice crackled through the radio giving me a chance to turn away from Jasper. "Rover one, come in. Repeat, rover one come in."

I picked up the radio. "Hey Dad."

"Y/n, where are you?" 

"We had to shoot three ice nation scouts," I replied. "Culvert, sector four, copy. Can you tell me what's going on?" 

"When you get here," Dad responded, his voice urgent. "Over and out."

"Sector four?" Raven questioned. "Why's Kane so far outside the wall?"

"Take him home!" Bellamy shouted, pointing at Jasper who responded that he was fine, in such a drawling, nonchalant way that it angered me. He was spiraling harder than I thought. "Miller. Get one of their horses. Raven, since you can't ride, you're on the back. Monty, Y/n, you're with me."

Everyone nodded, and did as he said. Monty took to the driver's seat of the rover and Bellamy the front while I sat between them in the back. I had no idea what was going on, but I'd never heard my father so curt with me. Something was up. Something bad. 

When we reached sector four, we hopped out, gripping tight to our guns. Walking through a tunnel, I couldn't stop thinking about what was wrong. Theories raced through my mind a mile a minute, each more vile than the last. I hoped they were all wrong. 

"You were right about Jasper, okay?" Monty said. "Is that what you want me to say?" 

No one wanted him to say that. We all wanted Jasper to be okay again, but I didn't foresee that in the near future. 

"Quiet," Bellamy ordered. "Keep your eyes peeled. I could've said no." 

"He's getting worse, isn't he?" Monty murmured, his throat tight. "I mean getting drunk every night is one thing, but smiling with a knife to your throat? That's next level damaged." 

I wanted to say something to comfort him, but there was nothing to say. Monty was right. Jasper was damaged, maybe beyond repair. Nothing I said could change that or make it better. Besides, we'd reached the end of the tunnel where my father and Indra were waiting for us. 

"He must've told her we broke the truce," Bellamy said. 

I narrowed my eyes. Memories of Indra and other villagers of Tondc cutting me flashed through my mind. I wasn't sure I was over it. I could be civil with Indra, but I wasn't going to trust her. I think Bellamy was just as apprehensive as I was. I was almost thankful for the fact that he stepped in front of me, as if Indra would attack me again. But it did make me feel like a child. 

"Dad, before you say anything there was a good reason-" I explained, as we all met together. 

Dad held up a hand. "I'll deal with that later. This is about Clarke."

I almost dropped my gun at the sound of her name. No one had mentioned her in the past three months, and it felt like she'd practically been forgotten. I made sure to sit at the gate for a while every night, just in case she decided to come back. She hadn't. But I made a point never to give up on her, as she had never given up on any of us. 

"What about her?" I ventured, ignoring the fact that my voice was shaking. I braced myself for the news that she was dead, and I'd lost my sister. 

"She's being hunted," Indra explained. 

At least that meant she was alive. Hunted was better than dead. I grabbed hold of Bellamy's hand, so overwhelmed with relief I feared I might fall over. 

"By who?" Monty asked. 

Indra stared at us with a darkness in her eyes. Not meant for us. A dark pity meant for Clarke. "By everyone." 

Not ideal. But Clarke was more of a fighter than any of us. If anyone could survive being hunted it was her. I had faith we'd see her again. 

* * *

We set off even farther than we'd ever been in the rover. Almost completely out of range of Arkadia. I sat awkwardly in the back between Indra and my father. It took everything in me to not shift closer to Dad, to be sure of his protection. But I wasn't going to let Indra know I was still intimidated by her. So I sat tall and proud, reassured by the cold metal of my knife in my boot. 

"We know there's a kill order," Bellamy said with disdain, after a while. "You people are big on those."

"It's not a kill order," Indra countered. "It's a bounty. Clarke is a symbol. She's known as Wanheda. The Commander of Death." 

"The Ice Nation guys we killed asked about Wanheda," I input, mulling over her words. What the hell had Clarke gotten herself into? "They're looking for Clarke. Why?"

"My people believe that when you kill someone, you get their power. Kill Wanheda, and you command death." 

"She's just one girl," Dad said, leaning forward. Perhaps, but he hadn't seen what she was capable of. Clarke was a strong leader. Willing to do anything to protect her friends, her people. Just one girl meant nothing if that one girl was Clarke. She could probably bring an army to their knees. Which was impressive, but also terrifying. 

"So was the Commander," Indra snapped. "What Clarke did at Mount Weather weakened her. The Ice Nation is emboldened. Their Queen wants Clarke's power. If her people believe she has it, she'll break the coalition and start a war. I can't let that happen." 

Of course. I shouldn't have expected anything else. Peace could only last so long. There was always another war to fight. 

Beeping signaled us that we'd entered sector seven. 

"Where to now?" Monty asked, gripping tight to the steering wheel. 

"If she's here, she'll need supplies. We'll start at the trading posts," Indra ordered. 

Monty sped up, and we flew down the dirt road. Night fell, and silence followed us the whole ride. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I wanted to talk, listen to music, fight, anything to break the tense silence. 

I got my wish, as Monty slammed on the breaks. I lurched forward in my seat, and my father's arm shot out to keep me from flying forward any further. 

"Christ, Monty," I gasped, clutching at my chest. "Why'd you stop?" 

"Tree in the middle of the road. We have to move it." 

Bellamy nodded in agreement and they both moved to open the doors, but Indra stopped them.

"Wait. It's been cut down."

Shit. Someone knew we were coming. 

"You don't know that," Bellamy argued, crawling to the back, and popping out the sunroof. I waited in tense silence, my heart beating erratically. This was going to get worse before it got better. 

Another tree crashed to the ground behind us, and Bellamy fell back down, practically on top of me. I pulled him into me, protective instincts kicking in. Running my hands through his curls was calming for me, but I dunno if it had the same effect on him. 

Panting in anxiety, I glanced at my father and then at Indra, who had a dark, knowing look in her eyes. 

"We do now." 

Why couldn't we have one smooth rescue mission? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, jumping into season three! This one might take a bit longer to write because I have to do some refreshing, but I'll try to keep updates coming out every other day! Hope you're as excited as I am! Love y'all!


	2. Wanheda - II

Everyone was getting restless sitting in the rover. Dawn had broken, and still nothing had happened. I gripped tight to Bellamy's hand, hoping it would calm me. But he was the most impatient, and so I was far from tranquil. 

"It's been three hours," Bellamy groaned. "What are they waiting for?"

"Even with the light, I don't see anyone," I murmured, glancing out the windows. Nothing but forest. 

Monty suggested, "I say we make a run for it."

Dad shook his head, his gaze concentrated on the treeline. "No. That's what they want us to do."

"The boy is right," Indra said. "They can wait longer than we can."

There was a pause of tense silence. We had to do something. Time was wasting, and Clarke got further away from us the longer we waited. 

"Okay, Bellamy," my father conceded. "You get in the turret and you cover us. Once we get to that ridge over there, we'll cover you." 

I tried to protest, unwilling to put Bellamy's life in danger, suggest me instead, but I knew with that one everyone would object. So I let go of his hand and readied myself to run, spinning my ring around my finger to strengthen my faith we'd be fine.

Bellamy nodded and gave me a loving look, that look that we gave each other when we feared something bad would happen to each other. I didn't return it because I wanted to believe we wouldn't die. "Copy that. Run fast."

Bellamy grabbed his gun and stepped up through the turret, and almost immediately, he said, "They're here."

My heart practically stopped and I turned my gun to the roof. They got him. 

"Everybody out, or the boy dies!" Someone yelled, and then yanked Bellamy all the way out of the rover. 

Panic exploded in my chest. Adrenaline took over, and I didn't have to think before dropping my gun. I couldn't let anything happen to him. 

"Okay, we're coming out!" Dad yelled, unloading weapons from his person. 

"Don't hurt him!" I pleaded, ignoring the sting of tears in my eyes. God, I couldn't lose him!

I turned the handle to the back door, and as soon as the lock clicked, the doors flew open. People dressed in heavy furs carrying swords grabbed my wrist and threw me a few feet. I slammed to the ground, and pain erupted in my hand. Before I could get to my feet, someone yanked my arm behind me, and pinned me down. The cold point of a sword pressed into my neck.

Beside me, Bellamy met my eyes, and I feared we were staring at each other for the last time. I struggled against my captor, but it only ended with a prick of blood to my skin. Just barely, Bellamy shook his head, and reluctantly I stopped fighting. 

I couldn't see what was happening, but I heard Monty grunt in protest and I went rigid. If they even thought about hurting him, I would kill the man on top of me and everyone else. 

"Found it," one of the men grunted. 

"It's mine!" Monty shouted, and I could only assume by the distress in his voice that they were taking the beacon. "Give it back!"

"Monty, let it go!" Bellamy cried. 

There was a pause, and then one of our attackers said, "Monty?"

"Mom?" Monty exclaimed, his voice soft and hopeful. 

I furrowed my eyebrows. His mom? Wait, but his mom...oh. My eyes widened. Farm station! We'd found them! 

Monty embraced his mom, and started sobbing. I sighed in relief. He deserved something good, after everything that happened in the mountain, after everything that happened with Jasper. 

"Farm station, stand down," said another man. A voice I recognized, though didn't particularly like. To be fair, the feeling was mutual. I was always challenging everything he said, got on his nerves. Everyone in class always thought it was humorous, though, and that was the important part. Anyone who tried to control me found out soon enough that wasn't possible. Pike never seemed to grasp that.

"Pike?" Dad gasped, astounded. The man holding him down released him and he got to his feet. They hugged and I struggled against the person pinning me. If they were my people why wouldn't they let me go?

"We didn't think you made it," Dad exclaimed. 

"Lacroix, Smith, watch our six!" Pike commanded. "Everyone else, I said stand down!"

Finally, the person on top of me released my arm. Disgruntled, and shooting glares at anyone I could, I got to my feet. Brushing dirt from my face and my knees, I went to stand by Bellamy's side, interlocking my fingers with his. I figured he could keep me from saying or doing anything stupid to Pike. Being in his presence was enough to piss me off. 

"Ah, and your lovely daughter made it well, I see," Pike remarked staring at me with the same distaste I shot him. I hated the way he said  _lovely_ as if it was an insult. I wasn't sure how long I could last down here if he was to remain as well. He ground his teeth, and the next thing to say was far from sincere. Anyone who had ears could tell that. "Never been happier."

I plastered a cold, unfeeling smile on my face, gripping so hard to Bellamy's hand that he winced. "Feeling's mutual." 

Pike's eyes hardened for a moment and it looked like he might make the move to kill me. Bellamy must have sensed that because he shifted until he stood protectively in front of me. But the tension passed as Pike turned his attention back to my father. 

"Jesus, what'd you do to him?" Bellamy murmured. 

I exhaled slowly and calmed. "Let's just say that the doctor wasn't the only person I attacked when I spiraled into insanity after my mother died. Plus, I was a horrible student."

Bellamy snorted, and it looked like he was going to say something more, but Monty pulled away from his mother at that point, asking for his dad. 

"Your father didn't make it," Monty's mom replied. 

Monty's face fell, and pity struck me. 

"How many of you are there?" Dad asked Pike. 

"Sixty-three," Pike said. "The rest are camped in the mountains north of here. Grounder killers one and all, am I right?" 

Everyone cheered a war cry.

Irritation flared in my chest. Sure, none of them knew we had a truce with the Grounders but it still bothered me that they were pleased to be good at killing the people who'd made a life on this earth before us. Granted, I had killed my fair share of Grounders, but I never took pride in it. I glanced over at Indra and saw she looked something along the lines of scared. I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring glance. Even after everything we had done to each other, we were on the same side now. I guess I had to come to terms with that. Better friends with her than Pike. 

I let go of Bellamy's hand and stepped between Pike and my father. "Hate to cut this short, but we gotta find Clarke." 

"Clarke Griffin?" Pike asked, and I tried not to punch him. Not that he was currently doing anything wrong. "If only all my Earth Skills students were as good as her." 

Cheap shot directed at me, but I bit my tongue. He cracked a faux smile, and clapped me on the shoulder which made me want to die. But I tried to be civil. 

"We gotta move the tree," I ground out. 

Together, we all lined up in front of the giant trunk blocking our path. Monty joined the group beside me, and I could almost feel the grieving anger emanating from him. 

"Hey, you alright?" I asked. 

Monty kept his gaze forward. "I have to be." 

I didn't say anything more. That was true, I supposed. We all had to be okay, to in turn keep those we loved from worrying about us. Focusing away from those thoughts, I instead put all my energy on pushing the log. Muscles screaming in protest, I grunted and panted more than I thought I would. When we finally got the tree out of the way, I huffed and wiped some perspiration from my forehead. Bellamy smirked at me and made a note of brushing off his hands like moving a tree was nothing. 

I rolled my eyes and shoved him playfully. Although maybe it was a little rougher than I meant. "Dad, it's time to go." 

Dad nodded. "Monty, give them the coordinates to Arkadia. We have a settlement fifty miles south of here. Your people will be safe there." 

"You're my people," Pike replied, putting a hand on my father's shoulder. I scoffed and masked it as a cough, though Pike saw through it. 

"Good, because we have reports that put Clarke north of here," Dad explained. "We could certainly use your expertise." 

Unfortunately, that was true. Pike had more knowledge of the Azgeda terrain than any of us. But I prayed to nothing in particular that any of the others could come. Just not Pike. That prayer was not answered. 

"If she's in the Ice Nation," Monty's mom said, "you're gonna need more than that." 

"We leave no one behind," Pike replied. Fine, one honorable thing. But I still hated him. "Lacroix, take the team. Rendezvous with the others. Get them to Arkadia." 

"I'm staying with my son," Monty's mom Hannah said, shoulders back, motherly gaze strong and protective. 

Pike nodded. "Damn right you are." 

And we were off. I made sure to keep as much distance between me and Pike as possible, falling to the very end of the group. Walking through Azgeda territory with no one at my back was rather unnerving, and I bet it didn't make my father very happy either, but he knew how I felt about Pike and there was no changing my mind. Even Bellamy was walking beside Monty and Hannah, making sure they were okay. 

Eventually, Indra joined me in the back. I glanced over at her, but didn't say anything. Honestly, I was grateful for her presence. Though I was still wary around her, angry about what happened in Tondc, Indra was leader of the Trikru and one of the greatest warriors in the land. It made me feel safer having her in the back with me. 

After a while of silence, she spoke. "I am sorry." 

I glanced over at her, but she kept her gaze trained on the path ahead, her hand gripping tight to the pommel of her sword. "What for?" 

"What happened to you in Tondc." 

I shrugged and waved it away without another word. 

"We almost killed you," Indra added, as if I didn't remember that. 

I tilted my head, and sighed. "Not your fault. Just your way of life. Who am I to judge that?" 

Indra's attitude shifted. I could feel it in the air, as if she commanded it, and it followed her emotions. "You are an honorable woman, like your father. I am pleased to call your bloodline an ally." 

Perhaps it was only my imagination, but I swore I caught a hint of admiration in her otherwise gruff tone. If I had her respect, I really was the great warrior I believed myself to be. Or person, at the very least. I'd take either. 

"As am I," I agreed, offering her a small smile. Her lips twitched in response, and I figured that was what a smile qualified for her. 

"And Tondc?" 

"Bygones," I said. "We are allies now, Indra, if not friends. There's always going to be a new battle to fight, and I'd rather have you on my side than dwell on what's happened in the past." 

"Agreed." 

And that was the end of the conversation. Indra picked up her pace and joined up with my father and Pike at the head of the group, leaving me feeling more confident and secure than I had in a while. A burden lifted off my shoulders. I hadn't realized how much my intimidation of Indra had been weighing me down. 

I didn't think on it too much longer, because we'd reached the trading post we'd been searching for. From inside the large hut covered in muted tarps and colorful fabrics echoed the grunts of a fight. What if that was Clarke in there? What if she was in trouble? Adrenaline kicked in and I raced past everyone else, gun in hand ready to shoot. 

Rounding the side of the post, I stepped through the door to see a man standing over a girl, threatening to cut off her hand. Without hesitation, I fired, killing the man. It wasn't Clarke on the ground, to my dismay, but I'd still saved someone, so I didn't feel terrible. 

"Are you okay?" I asked her as I fully entered the hut. Tables stood in lines down the center of the room, a plethora of items strewn haphazardly over them. I assumed the bloodied girl with terror and apprehension in her eyes ran this place. "You alright?" 

She didn't respond, just stared at us, eyes wide and alive with adrenaline. 

"Bounty hunter," Indra growled, as she stepped over the body of the man I'd shot. In Trigedasleng, she said, "We're here to help." 

"English!" Pike demanded. I whirled around, seething, shooting him a fiery glare. How dare he demand she not speak her native tongue. 

My father stepped in front of me, maybe to deter me from shooting Pike right then and there. "Pike, go outside. Take Monty and Hannah and search the perimeter. Make sure he was alone." 

Begrudgingly, Pike obliged, followed closely in tow by Monty and his mom. 

"We're looking for Wanheda," Indra explained in the Grounder language. 

The trade post girl glanced at the body on the floor. "So was he." 

"Please," I begged. "She's in danger." 

"You're Skaikru?" She asked. 

We nodded, which seemed to be confirmation enough for her. 

"She was here last night."

I closed my eyes. We'd missed Clarke by one night. So close, and yet so far.

"Did she say where she was going?" Dad implored. 

The girl shook her head. "No. She was here when I fell asleep and gone when I woke up." 

"She give you any indication of where she might go?" 

"No." Then she nodded towards the body. "But he did. He said that his partner came back for her. It was Ice Nation." 

I swallowed over a lump in my throat. If Azgeda got to her, then we had almost no chance of saving her.  But I wasn't giving up. 

"I hope you find her," the woman said, and I detected some stronger emotion behind her words. Clarke meant something to this girl. Seems she hadn't gone full rogue, and found some friends at the very least. Maybe something more, by the looks of it. 

Bellamy smiled at her. "Thank you." 

"Good news!" Monty said, bursting in through the door. "I found fresh tracks." 

"Great!" I exclaimed. "Start the rover."

Monty sighed. "That's the bad news. Too many trees. We have to go on foot again." 

I groaned internally, but didn't say anything out loud. I could walk hundreds of miles just fine if it meant finding Clarke and getting her back safe and sound. Driven by the hope that we'd soon have her back, I took the lead of the group, much to Pike's annoyance. That only gave me more motivation to stay ahead of him. 

Bellamy caught up to me as we neared the edge of the treeline. "Now who's the one who needs to slow down, huh?" 

I shoved him gently with my shoulder. "Shut up. This is different. We're so close to finding, her, Bel. I won't slow down until we do." 

"And you're sure it's just that." 

I glared at him. "What the hell else would it be, Bellamy?"

He gave that knowing look that I hated because whatever followed it was a truth I was trying to ignore. "You're trying to prove yourself to Pike, it seems. Prove him wrong. That you're better than what he thinks of you." 

I clamped my mouth shut, opting for silence which was as good as a confirmation. Instead, I picked up my pace and broke through the trees to a golden meadow. I'd had enough talking today. We could talk about my insecurities when Clarke was safe. If we stopped to do any of the like now, we'd lose her trail. 

"Quiet!" Indra held up her hand when we got halfway through the field. I hadn't even been aware anyone else was talking. Slowly, I fell back to her side, not wanting to venture further out if she sensed danger. "Listen." 

Straining my ears to hear what she was talking about, I finally understood. A beat filled the air, distant, but undeniable.

"War drums," I murmured. 

Indra grunted, "Azgeda." 

"You can tell it's Ice Nation from the sound?" Monty exclaimed. I didn't think it was  _that_ remarkable. Maybe the clans all had different war beats. 

"No," Indra replied, gesturing to some dead bodies on the field a few meters ahead of us. "From them." 

Guess not. I swallowed nervously, scanning the tall grass for any indication of who killed them. Nothing jumped out at me. 

"We need to get those bodies off the field!" Dad ordered. "Unless you're good with them thinking we did this."

Everyone scrambled forward to do as he said. I remained rooted to the spot, still searching for any sign of the killers. 

"Wait!" Bellamy shouted, staring through the scope of his gun. "There's people. Twelve o'clock." 

I squinted, and though I couldn't make out details, I saw he was right. Two people wading in and out of the grass. 

"It's Clarke!" Bellamy said, lowering his gun. 

I gasped. Impulse took over and I made a move to run for her, Bellamy right on my tail, but Pike stopped us. 

"Get out of my way!" I screeched, grabbing Pike's collar and shoving him. 

Pike glared, and did the same to me. Bellamy slowed, and shot Pike a warning glance. "You'll never make it in time." 

"He's right," Monty said, appearing behind me. "Look." 

Glowering, I released Pike's jacket and ripped away from his grip. I grabbed Bellamy's gun and peered through the scope. On the opposite end of the meadow, a battalion of warriors paraded out of the trees, carrying a flag marking them as Azgeda. 

"No way we'd get across without being seen," Monty reasoned. 

I handed Bellamy's gun back to him, and sighed. He was right. 

"We should lay low. Let the army pass. Then we find Clarke," Pike suggested. 

I clenched my hands into fists as I watched Clarke and her captor run off. We were so close. And we were going to lose her yet again. But if we went after her, we'd all end up dead. Azgeda was ruthless. 

"Guys, there's a cave!" Monty pointed to a tall, dark opening just close enough that we could make it under the Ice Nation's radar. Still, I hated the thought of just sitting around and letting Clarke slip through our fingers. 

"We got lucky," Pike remarked. "Come on." 

"I can't go with you," Indra apologized, her voice gruff as always. 

"Why not?" Dad protested. 

"Ice Nation has crossed the border. They're marching against my Commander. I have to warn her." 

"We'll get Clarke," My father promised. 

Indra clenched her jaw tighter. "You better. If the Ice Queen gets her first, she'll be dead. And we'll be at war." 

Nothing new. 

We scrambled to grab the bodies of the dead Azgeda warriors and dragged them into the cave just in time. To our knowledge, the Ice Nation army had not spotted us. 

Waiting in the cave was the worst. It was the absolute fucking worst. Every second we spent in here, the further away Clarke got. And I couldn't take it. 

"We're losing her," I huffed after pacing the front of the cave for the hundredth time. 

"Relax," Dad suggested, giving me an apologetic smile. "Save your energy." 

"Your father's right, kid," Pike added, putting a hand on my arm. I shot him a fiery glare. Dad's advice was enough. I did not need him adding insult to injury. "The army will move soon. You'll need your strength for what comes next."

Shoving him off, I resumed my post at the mouth of the cave. I spun my ring around my finger, and it calmed me a little. Bellamy joined me, wrapping his arms around my middle. He rested his chin on top of my head and I leaned into him. At least he understood my plight. Clarke was as important to him as she was to me. Neither of us could just sit here doing nothing when we were so close to rescuing her. 

"We'll find her," he reassured me. 

"Not if we stay here, Bel." I traced my finger over his knuckles, hoping to distract my mind from my worry. It didn't work, but it did have a soothing effect. 

As Hannah began telling Monty the story of Farm Station's landing and his father's death, my gaze strayed to the dead Grounders. My eyes lit up with an insane idea. 

"Oh no," Bellamy whispered when I turned to meet his gaze. "I know that look." 

"I have a terrible idea," I replied with a low voice, nodding at the bodies. He seemed to understand what I meant. 

"The chances of that working are slim to none," he reasoned, though I knew he wanted to go through with the plan as much as I did. 

I smiled. "You know me. I like those chances." 

"You're insane. Let's do it." 

While everyone was engrossed in the story of Farm Station, Bellamy and I quietly grabbed two of the bodies and stripped them of their clothes, throwing them over our own. Already, sweat prickled on my hairline, and heat beat down on me from the weight of all my layers, but I could deal. Anything to get Clarke back. 

"Ready?" I hissed to Bellamy. 

He nodded, and side by side we headed out into the midst of the Ice Nation army. I didn't risk holding his hand, but I kept as close to Bellamy as I could for reassurance. I knew this plan was insane, that some of the warriors might recognize we weren't one of them, but I took a deep breath and had faith in myself. Sometimes I had good plans. I hoped this was one of them. 

When we finally broke rank from the army, I allowed myself to breathe again. I exchanged a glance with Bellamy and we both gave each other a single nod. We pulled our hoods off and raced through the trees hand in hand, following Clarke's trail. 

Just when I was beginning to doubt we'd failed, we got a good sign. Well, not a  _good_ sign, but a sign that we were on the right track. Blood on a concrete post. I exhaled and pulled out a sword I'd stolen from the body of the dead scout. Bellamy did the same. Together, we headed down into the dark depths of the structure. Hopefully we weren't about to meet our doom. 

Light on my feet, I rounded a corner, trying to keep low to the ground, preparing myself for an attack. But I saw no one. Just a pair of hands tied around a thick concrete column. I bit back a smile. We'd done it! We'd found her! 

Once more, I looked around, just to be sure there was no one lurking in the shadows, and then I raced forwards, to the other side of the column. Sure enough, it was Clarke. Her hair was redder, her face bruised, and carried an aura of exhaustion, but it was her. Now I let my smile come forth, and motioned for Bellamy to follow me. 

I pulled Clarke's gag out. "We're gonna get you out of here." 

Her eyes widened and the first thing she said was, "Look out!" 

Too late, I turned around to find a man towering above me. He kicked me in the chest. Wheezing, I feel backwards. I swung upwards with my sword, but he stepped on my arm and yanked the weapon from my grip, then pressed the point of his own into my throat. I gasped but went still. Fighting would only end with the metal through my throat. 

Bellamy stopped in his tracks, eyes wide, ready to fight, but I shook my head. If he did anything, this man would not only kill me but maybe Clarke too. It probably took everything in him to hide in the shadows and wait for this to be over. Maybe he could sneak up, take the man out with the element of surprise. 

"No please!" Clarke cried, staring at me with terror in her eyes, tears threatening to fall. "Please don't! I'll do anything! I'll stop fighting! Just, please, don't kill her!"

I wanted to protest to tell her I wasn't worth her life, but I couldn't speak. 

Tension filled the stone room, as the man debated her words. Finally, the sword left my throat. I took a deep breath, and sighed in relief, but it was preemptive. White hot pain shot up my leg and I screamed in shock and agony. He'd stabbed me. The motherfucker stabbed me. 

"No!" Bellamy cried, racing to my side. The man who'd taken Clarke captive didn't even seem to care. Maybe he'd known Bellamy was lying in wait for him. Maybe he'd known this would hinder him. 

"Don't follow us," the man grunted, kicking Bellamy in the face. He tumbled over and fell to the ground at my side. Neither of us could recover in time to help Clarke. But shit, I had to try. I had to try something! 

Despite the pain in my leg, the copious amounts of blood staining my pants, I got to my feet, with Bellamy's help. Tears stung my eyes and my leg screamed in protest when I put weight on it. Together, we stumbled up the stairs, desperate to chase after Clarke. But we had no idea where she'd gone. Once again, we'd lost her. I'd seen her. Spoken to her. But I couldn't save her. 

I was crying now. I wasn't sure if it was because of Clarke or because of my leg, but tears blurred my vision. Bellamy threw my arm over his shoulders, giving me some more support. 

"Y/n!" Monty yelled. "She's hurt!" 

"We told you to wait for the army to move!" Pike scolded. Even in my suffering and distress, I could still find it in me to shoot him an annoyed glare. 

"What happened?" Monty asked. 

I glanced at Bellamy and he shook his head in despair. "We almost had her."

Dad only had eyes for the wound in my leg. Oh I knew I was going to get the reprimanding of my life. I could feel it coming. But he didn't rebuke me. I was grateful. "Pike, find their trail." 

"It's useless," he replied. "They know they're being followed now."

It was an accusatory tone, but I didn't care. They'd have left anyway, and then we'd have nothing. At least Bellamy and I tried to do something to save her. We'd tried. And we had to keep trying. 

I broke free from Bellamy and started limping away from the group, but my father grabbed my shoulder and yanked me back. 

"Hey," he said, his voice gentle but stern. "You can't even walk." 

"So what?" I cried, my voice breaking. I blinked away another tear. "We just give up? Let him kill her?" 

I pushed my father away and tried to make a run for it again, but this time Monty stopped me. "I wanna find her too. We all do. But look at your leg. You could die out there, and we have no trail-"

"We can't lose Clarke!" I screamed. And then Bellamy was at my side. He knew how much this hurt for me. I buried my face into his chest. "We can't lose her." 

"We'll find her, okay?" Bellamy reassured me.

Monty added, in a gentle tone, "We'll figure something out. I promise. But this isn't the way." 

Monty, right as always. I needed him to be around more. Bellamy had an impulse control as weak as mine, which meant we were both okay with diving headfirst into dangerous situations. Monty could level that out. 

"Okay," I agreed, giving in. "Okay." 

Bellamy lifted me into his arms, and I nuzzled in close to him, pressing hard on my wound. I hoped I didn't bleed out. And I hoped Clarke was okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I hate Pike?


	3. Ye Who Enter Here

After a week, the wound in my leg hardly hindered me. Abby really was a miracle worker. No longer did searing pain encompass my leg when I walked, and the dull throbbing was hardly noticeable. It might be another week before I could run on it, but for today's mission I hoped I wouldn't have to run. We were headed to the Grounder capital for a peace summit. If it stayed true to that name, which I trusted it did, I wouldn't be doing any running today. 

I was relieved my father allowed me to come along on the mission. Truthfully, I knew it was because he wanted to keep an eye on me after impulsively chasing after Clarke. But coming to Polis kept me about as far away from Pike as I could be right now, and while that also put me at a distance from Bellamy, I could deal. Plus it led me  _to_ Clarke, so at least I had one friend with me. Or I would, soon. 

The rover screeched to a halt and I hopped out of the doors after my father. 

"Alright," he said. "We're at the Polis city limits. From here we go on foot. Lexa's guards will be here soon. All guns and radios stay in the truck. Her people will escort us to the summit." 

I didn't have a gun or a radio, but I didn't dare remove my knife from my boot. It was concealed from view so no one could look at me and feel threatened by a weapon, but I had it just in case a situation arose. Last minute resort only. 

"Nelson, Hill," Dad ordered. "Stay here and man the radio." 

In the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a guard stuffing something into his utility belt. I knew I didn't carry a lot of authority because to everyone else in Arkadia I was still just someone to be protected, but given the respect my father got, I got to reap the benefits of being a little commanding. "What's that?" 

The guard shot me an annoyed look. "A med kit." 

"From Mount Weather? The place where thousands of their people were killed?" I scoffed. "You can't bring it into Polis." 

The guard didn't seem convinced so reluctantly I turned to my father for help. He grabbed the kit from the man's belt. 

"Y/n is right. You can't take this with you." 

The guard stepped away from us, clearly annoyed, but so was I. Why further antagonize ourselves? Already the Grounders were on edge about us moving into the mountain that had brought them so much pain. And me. I didn't like the idea of taking over it either. 

"Don't take your anger out on the guard," Abby huffed joining up with us. "If you're going to be mad at someone be mad at me."

I picked at my cuticles, not wanting to say anything. I liked Abby, and I didn't want to fight with her, but I guess I was mad. Her thought process stemmed from a good cause, but it threatened to destroy the peace we'd fought so hard for. 

Thankfully, my father was on my side, and fought with her for me. "Moving our people into Mount Weather puts our entire agenda at risk. You know that, and you did it anyway." 

"Would you have preferred that I let Nyko die?" Abby countered. 

"We're past that," I grumbled. Both of them shot me glances, and I just turned my gaze back to my fingernails. God I so wished Bellamy could have come with. I felt like I was being babysat.

Dad said, "Opening a hospital is one thing. Moving Farm Station survivors in is another." 

"It was a few people, Marcus. An exploratory group," Abby snapped.

"That's not the point! Now we have to explain. Taking-"

I intervened, "Taking away from everything else we've been negotiating for!" 

I couldn't help it. Maybe I was angrier than I thought. I needed to have surety that Clarke was okay. I needed Bellamy to comfort me. I needed anything but this conversation. 

"Lifting Lincoln's kill order," Dad continued, putting a hand on my shoulder in support. "Opening trade routes, getting Clarke back!" 

He stopped short, eyes wide. Regret painted his face. He knew he shouldn't have said that. Still, I couldn't shrug it off. Clarke was my friend, my family, not a bargaining chip. I shrugged Dad's hand off my shoulder and stormed away. I wanted to get to the summit. Not stand here blaming each other for disruptions to our peace.

We walked for a little while longer through trees and brush before we reached the city. And by the gods in the skies and the monsters in the seas, it was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. Polis was beautiful. It was like a living, breathing city, as if life ran in the cobblestone streets themselves, vivacity in the air, heart in the pillars of the bazaar stands. 

Delectable scents wafted under my scents. Sweet, savory, spicy. Some so foreign and amazing I didn't think words would do it justice. A smile tugged at my lips, stretching wider than I'd ever thought possible. It was a true, innocent smile, that could only have been brought about by wonder. I felt like a little kid again, staring at all the children chasing each other around, the parents watching them with gentle smiles, the shouting merchants offering up their wares. 

Perhaps the most incredible thing about Polis was the tower. Muted in color yet alive with the greatness of the city's exuberance, it was quite possibly the tallest thing on the planet. I swore it scraped the sky, mingled with the clouds, spoke to the sun. Everything about this city was breathtaking. I felt like I was reliving the childlike wonder I had the first day I set foot on the earth. 

I turned to my dad, my eyes alight with awe. It resonated with him as well. Neither of us had been this amazed by anything in a long time. A blissful, childlike laugh escaped my lips. This was wonderful. I wished I could have shared this with Bellamy, but experiencing it with my father was just as good. 

A small child grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me through the marketplace. Still smiling, I let her lead me to a stand where a woman was cooking some sort of pale orange sea creature I didn't recognize. My father and Abby joined me at the stand. The scent of the fish tickled my nose and my mouth watered. 

"Tikame," the woman said, offering me a piece of the fish. 

I beamed at her, and thanked her in Trigedasleng. "Mochof!" 

Flavor exploded in my mouth as I bit into the delicate skin of the fish. Tangy and spicy, and yet somehow sweet. We'd never had anything of the like on the Ark. I wished for more of her fish, to taste everything this place had to offer. But we didn't have the time. 

I stepped aside to let Dad try some as well. In turn, he gave her the patch from his uniform, a symbol of our people. 

Abby smiled, her eyes trained on my father, invoking one of his own. The same look I shared with Bellamy. I wished they'd just kiss already. Both of them deserved each other. 

"You two are well suited for this," Abby remarked after a while of wandering. 

I caught a whiff of fresh incense, sweet and flowery. "It's amazing." 

Dad nodded. "When I dreamt of the ground, it was empty." 

"But it's not empty now," Abby murmured. She pulled the Chancellor's pin from her jacket and ran her fingers over it. "Marcus, you gave this to me. And you asked me to set a good example. But what we're trying to do here is something new, something...something you have a vision for. You and your daughter." 

Speaking as if I wasn't standing right here. It was fine. I had endless new things to experience. As they were lost in each other's eyes, I was lost in the sensational world around me. 

Abby stretched her palm out, extending the pin to Dad. "This should be yours." 

He shook his head. "Not like this. We've been passing the Chancellor's pin since we landed on the ground. This time it's up to our people." 

"Well, then," Abby said, smiling. "Let's hold an election when we get back to Arkadia." 

Dad closed her fingers over the pin, and I had to bite my lips to keep from giving them a cheeky smile. "No matter who wears this pin, we're in this together." 

"Kane!" A familiar voice called from behind us. Both my father and I turned around to find Indra approaching. 

First, she held out her hand to me, which I accepted, and earned a real smile from her. Seems we were friends after all. 

"Hello, my friend!" Dad said, extending his arm in greeting, which she gripped in the same way she had for me. 

"Chancellor Griffin, welcome," Indra said to Abby. "I hope you're enjoying the capital." 

"I am," Abby replied. "And thank you for ensuring my daughter's safety." 

I smiled to myself. She was alive, and she was okay. 

"The Commander did that," Indra corrected. "You can thank her yourself at the summit tonight. 

"I'd like to see her," Abby said. I wanted to as well. Being so close to seeing her again, holding her, talking to her for real for the first time in months, it lit energetic relief in my core. Today, I would be in the presence of my friend again, under much better circumstances, and I couldn't hide my excitement. 

Indra nodded. "Soon." 

Abby opened her mouth to protest, but Dad put a hand on her shoulder and said her name in a soothing, loving way that reminded me of how he spoke with my mom. 

"See," Abby remarked. "You are suited for this."

* * *

Waiting. There was always so much waiting. I tried not to pace, but my nervous energy was building up and I would explode soon if I didn't release it somehow. Namely, finally seeing Clarke. 

Amazingly, Dad and Abby were calmer than I was. On the outside, anyway. Abby's anger was elevating. I could hear it in her voice. 

"The sun is going down," she huffed. "Where's Lexa?"

"She'll be here soon," Dad reassured her, ever serene and inspiriting. The father from my childhood. Good to see he was resurfacing. Neither of us had been completely broken after all. 

Outside the doors, some guards spoke in Trigedasleng. I turned, trying to hide my smile. "Here we go."

The doors burst open, and my heart practically stopped. I had been expecting Lexa. Not Clarke. From last week she was vastly different, as if she had aged a hundred years. A thousand from the first day we'd landed. She was dressed in Grounder leathers, truly assimilating into their world. 

Mitigation overcame me, and I couldn't hold back my tears. Propelled by my overwhelming relief, completely ignoring the soreness in my leg, I raced forward and threw myself at Clarke. I hugged her so tight I feared I would suffocate her. Gently, she wrapped her arms around me. 

"I missed you," I murmured, blinking away some tears. "I missed you so much."

Clarke stroked my hair and I calmed. "I missed you too." 

I pulled away, brushing the tears from my eyes, giving Abby a chance to reunite with her daughter. Dad took the chance to wrap his arm around my shoulders and give me a side hug. 

"Told ya she'd be okay," he said. 

I smiled. "You were right." 

When Clarke pushed Abby away, I knew something was up. She looked at us with something strange in her eyes. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Mistrust? Apology? I wasn't sure, but it didn't give me a good feeling. 

"I have something to tell you and we don't have much time," Clarke said. 

Abby protested, "Wait a minute, just let me look at you." 

Dad and I stepped closer to them and he put a hand on Abby's shoulder. "You'll have plenty of time to catch up once we get back home." 

Clarke explained, "The Commander's changing the terms of the summit." 

A pit formed in my stomach. So that was that dark look in her eyes. Had Lexa decided to break our peace? I didn't think she was so dishonorable. I wasn't  _fond_ of Lexa, but I respected her. Now though....

"Is this because of Mount Weather?" I asked my throat tight. 

Clarke shook her head, her eyes softening when she saw the distress plastered across my face. "It's because of Ice Nation. They want Lexa dead. They want to take over the Coalition." 

"That's Lexa's concern, not ours!" Abby argued. I understood she wanted her daughter to come back home, but if it was Lexa's problem, it was almost certainly ours as well. We were probably hated more than anyone else. 

"No, Abby," Dad said, agreeing with my thoughts. "If Lexa falls, the Coalition shatters. And there's no way we avoid that war." 

"You said there were new terms," I said, clearing my throat. 

"We become the thirteenth clan," Clarke replied. 

I raised an eyebrow in shock more than anything else. Assimilate into their culture, follow Lexa? Far from what I was expecting, but I wasn't totally against it. We truly would become Skaikru then. No one could march against us without antagonizing the Commander herself. Not everyone would want to follow her leadership right away, but if it granted us protection, peace, from the other Grounders, wasn't it a good idea? 

"The thirteenth clan, what does that mean?" Abby asked. "That we follow Lexa?" 

"Yes." 

Abby's voice grew taut, clearly finding the new terms distasteful. "We came here to negotiate a treaty."

"This is our Unity Day, Mom," Clarke argued. "You can be the thirteenth station or the thirteenth clan." 

Abby narrowed her eyes and turned to Dad for help. "Marcus?" 

"Clarke's right," he said. "Y/n and I have seen the Ice Nation army. And we don't stand a chance against them." 

The memories of walking through the terrifying Azgeda plagued my mind. I never wished to see war with them. It would be a slaughter, with the lack of remorse of mercy in their deadened eyes. I exhaled slowly, and put my nerves at ease. "We have to do this." 

Abby pursed her lips and turned back to Clarke. "So we become the thirteenth clan. Then what? What's gonna stop the Ice Nation?" 

Clarke squared her shoulders and a protective fire lit her eyes. "Wanheda." 

Her. 

I swallowed nervously. I trusted she knew what she was doing. I did not want to see her murdered by Azgeda for her power. For her leadership. 

* * *

I stood in the throne room beside my father, holding my head high and making it believable that I belonged here. Across the aisle, the Ice Nation delegates stared at me with a steely wrath that sparked a fire of indignation in my core. We were going to become one of the clans. We had just as much right to be here as they did. 

A woman began to sing a melody in Trigedasleng, sonorous and resounding. The haunting song filled my ears, calmed my mind, instilled a sense of serenity in me. Melodic words floated across the room, hanging heavy like a warm, comforting cloud as the doors opened. Clarke strode in, dressed in an elegant pale blue-gray dress, dark makeup dressing her face, her golden hair strung up in delicate braids. She kept her eyes trained forward, locking gazes with Lexa, who was just as dressed up. 

I watched in calm respect as she stopped at the end of the aisle and dropped to her knees in front of Lexa. I glanced around the room, waiting for a signal of what to do next. One of the Ice Nation men dropped to his knees, the same one who'd almost killed me, and with him, the rest of the room knelt. Skaikru was the last to drop down, but I did it with pride, dipping my head. Lexa was our leader now. Or would be soon. 

"Hail warriors of the twelve clans," Lexa resounded. 

"Hail Commander of the Blood," everyone else responded. Everyone except for Skaikru. We were still new to this. 

"Rise," Lexa commanded. Slowly, everyone in the throne room got to their feet. I used my father's arm for support as a spike of pain shot through my thigh. Putting all of my weight on my leg was a mistake but I was not going to look weak in front of all the other Grounders. Especially the man who stabbed me. If there was one thing these people revered it was strength. 

Lexa surveyed the crowd for a moment before resuming her speech. "We welcome Skaikru to our halls in the spirit of friendship and harmony. And we welcome Clarke kom Skaikru legendary Wanheda, mountain slayer. The reason for the summit has changed. We are not here to negotiate a treaty with the Skaikru, but rather to initiate them into the Coalition." 

Murmurs buzzed through the room. Unease washed over me, but I kept my cool. Whether they liked it or not, we were going to be one of the clans. 

"To symbolize this union," Lexa continued, and the crowd hushed. "the leader of Skaikru must bear our mark." 

I glanced at Abby who seemed rather apprehensive about it. She turned to Dad and said, "The honor should be yours." 

He nodded and turned to Lexa. My chest swelled with pride. Dad had come so far from the Ark. I always knew that better man from my childhood still existed, and now it seemed he was here to stay. 

"Present your arm," Lexa ordered. 

The crowd parted and a Grounder guard stepped through carrying an iron pole, glowing orange on the end. Dad rolled up his sleeve and stuck his arm out. I bit my lip as he let out a muffled scream when the metal seared his skin. 

At the same time, the doors to the chamber burst open. Startled, I whirled around to find Octavia, Pike, and Bellamy, the latter of who was holding a Grounder guard at gunpoint. 

"Bellamy?" Clarke and I exclaimed at the same time. 

"What the hell are you doing?" I shouted, glaring at each of them in turn. Pike and Bellamy I knew had mistrust for the Grounders, but Octavia would never attack them without solid reason. 

Titus growled, from beside Lexa, "What is the meaning of this?" 

Bellamy's eyes were wild, alight with adrenaline and worry. Maybe there was something going on. "The summit's a trap!" 

He threw the captive guard to the ground and turned to me and Clarke specifically. "We need to get you out of here." 

Clarke reeled on Lexa. "What the hell is going on?" 

"I don't know," she replied through gritted teeth. 

"It's the Ice Nation," Bellamy explained. My blood ran cold. The way they were staring at us, at Skaikru, at me, before made me queasy. Now I knew why. They had been planning to kill us. 

The Ice Nation delegate scoffed. "These allegations are an outrage! The Ice Nation has never stormed this summit with weapons, breaking our laws,  _that_ was the Skaikru." 

I shot Bellamy an enraged look. Oh I was going to chew him out later. Pike, if I could, but I didn't foresee that possibility without ending up in handcuffs or something of the like. 

"We're right about this," Pike countered, aiming his gun at the other clans. "The twp guards you left behind are dead already. We need to go now." 

"How did you come by this information?" Lexa barked. 

The three looked around, as if searching for an informant. 

"Where the hell is Echo?" Octavia hissed. 

Echo, the Grounder that had been in the cage next to Bellamy's in Mount Weather, the girl that had helped me kill Lovejoy. Why would she send them here? 

Bellamy turned to me, eyes soft and pleading, as if searching for help, but I only narrowed my eyes. He was not getting any sympathy from me right now. The three of them breaking in here under such accusations could have made things a hell of a lot worse for Skaikru. 

"What's going on?" Bellamy huffed. "Where the hell is she?" 

"Bel, maybe we were wrong about this," Octavia warned, her voice low and nervous. 

Bellamy lowered his gun. "I don't understand." 

Dad stepped forward, gruff and infuriated. He yanked the gun away from Bellamy. "Stand down." 

Before anyone else could say or do anything, Bellamy's radio crackled and Raven's voice came through. 

"Bellamy. Bellamy, come in," she said, distressed, voice unsteady. "The Grounders attacked Mount Weather." 

Keeping his eyes trained on Lexa, Bellamy grabbed his walkie, and replied, "What are you talking about?" 

"It's gone," Raven cried, her voice breaking. "It's gone. They're all gone. Sinclair and I are the only ones left." She sobbed, and I could almost feel her pain. I hadn't known anyone from in the mountain, but the fact that they'd killed so many of our people again hit me hard. I felt like I couldn't breathe. "I'm so sorry." 

Shocked, sorrowful silence fell over the throne room. 

The Ice Nation delegate stepped forward, spitting malice and hate with his every word. "You should've never moved your people back into Mount Weather. The Ice Nation did was Lexa was too weak to do." 

Lexa stepped down from her throne, seething. "This is an act of war. Sentries, arrest the Ice Nation delegation. Including the prince." 

I watched as the sentries followed her orders and dragged away the man who'd stabbed me. The Prince of Azgeda had kidnapped Clarke. What was he doing so far away from home? 

"We need to get home," Abby said to Dad who nodded in reply. "If they attacked Mount Weather, Arkadia could be next." 

"Go," Lexa said, nodding towards us. "Marshall your forces. We'll avenge the attack together." 

"I'll escort them," Indra offered, following everyone as they headed for the door. I remained rooted to the floor, overwhelmed with emotions, so many I couldn't even begin to sort through them if I wanted to. 

"Clarke, we need to leave," Bellamy said, "now." 

"We need an ambassador from the thirteenth clan to stay here in Polis," Lexa countered, and I could already tell that was Clarke's intention. She belonged here, I thought. No better person for the job. 

"It's not safe here," Bellamy argued, and an annoyed, angry grunt escaped my lips. It was only unsafe because he'd decided to storm Polis with guns. 

"Clarke will be safe here under my protection," Lexa reassured him, her tone commanding. 

Abby didn't seem to like the idea either, but Clarke convinced her that she would stay to make sure Lexa kept her word. 

Titus interrupted, "Commander, we must convene the war council immediately." 

Lexa turned to Clarke, who nodded. "I'll be right there." 

She hugged her mom, and then stepped towards me. I enveloped her in another bear hug, squeezing tight. I trusted she would always do the right thing here. 

"Be safe," I whispered, when I pulled away. 

She nodded. "You too." 

And then everyone was heading out the door. Everyone, save for Bellamy. I grabbed his arm to pull him out the door but he shrugged me off. Hurt and anger flared in my chest. 

"She left us to die on that mountain," Bellamy pleaded with Clarke, his voice gruff and unwavering. "She will always put her people first. You should come home to yours." 

Clarke sighed, but held her head high. "I'm sorry." 

He turned, and I tried to take his hand to comfort him, but again he shoved me away, storming down the hall I glanced over at Clarke to give her an apologetic smile that I hoped told her that we believed in her. And then I was gone, aching with the pain of rejection and on fire with determination to end the war before it became a slaughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not a super exciting chapter but I had a reason for picking this route instead of following the plot with Bellamy. Also, I was hoping to maybe get a certain scene in before OC and Bellamy started fighting but whoops, got a little ahead of myself I think. Anyways, hope you're enjoying and stay tuned for another chapter!


	4. Watch the Thrones

"Bellamy, c'mon," I huffed, getting fed up. "You can't quit the guard." 

Bellamy sighed, and ran a hand through his wild curls. "I can't keep wearing this jacket when I failed to protect forty-nine of our people. I promised I would. And now they're dead." 

I let my irritation fizzle away and took a seat next to him. Linking my arm through his, I leaned my head on his shoulder and gripped his hand with both of mine. "It's not your fault, Bel. If you'd stayed, you'd be dead too."

He planted a gentle kiss on my lips. "Maybe you're right, but-"

"No but. I'm right." 

Silence followed. I knew he was having a hard time dealing with Mount Weather exploding, with being part of the Grounders, with living under Lexa's command. But I was going to be here with him until he got over it, because he'd have to get over it. Right now, he could wallow, but I'd resort to tough love if he kept it up. He said it himself months ago. We are Grounders now. 

The door to the conference room opened, and Bellamy stood up. Currently, there was no changing his mind about this, so I let my arms drop to my lap. I sighed and rested my head against the cool wall. I wished Bellamy would stop torturing himself about things that weren't his fault, things he couldn't control. 

I felt his terrible presence before I saw him. Pike rounded the corner, his eyes ablaze with annoyed fury. I smiled wryly. Must have been due to my father. I'd never been prouder.  

Pike was muttering something beneath his breath, something contemptuous. I couldn't make out exactly what he was saying but I heard "Kane" and could infer the rest. 

I knew it was a bad idea to start a fight with him right now, but I couldn't resist the temptation. And he probably wanted to take his anger out on me, so I guess it was a win-win, in a way. "What did you say about my father?" 

Pike stopped in his tracks, and crossed his arms. "Everything that needed to be said. Your father is weak. A terrible leader that will get us all killed." 

Ire flashed in my eyes and I snapped up to my feet. "He is moral and just, and knows what he's doing. You're the one that wants to start a war against the people defending us. You're the one who will kill us all." 

"You have been a thorn in my side ever since you first walked into my class," Pike growled. "Maybe I never could get through to you, but perhaps I can teach your father a lesson." 

I knew exactly where this was going, and I hated that every nerve in my body was revving with energy, desperate for him to follow through. Itching for my dagger in my boot, I curled my hands into fists and stood up straighter, daring him to challenge me. 

"Do it," I goaded. "Teach my father a lesson and it will only prove how wrong you are. Prove you lust for war." 

I think I got under his skin enough, because he made fists. I braced myself for what was to come. Pike punched me in the face, but I was so high on adrenaline I barely felt it. All I registered was a faint throbbing in my cheek, and blood flooding my mouth, trickling down the corner of my lips. 

"See," I laughed. It was a cold indignant laugh, driven by my hatred for him and his belief. "All you are is a violent hate-monger. Attacking Grounders, and now your own?" 

Pike grabbed the front of my jacket and shoved me against the wall. "You Kanes are weak and blind. The people know better."  

My smile dropped, replaced by a seething rage. He wanted to be Chancellor. If that happened, I couldn't imagine the horrors that would unfold. War would never end. "You're the blind one. Blinded by your rage, your misplaced fighting instincts. And you're going to kill us all." 

"I could start with you," he threatened. 

Glaring at him with more hate than I knew I possessed, I snapped, "Go ahead and try it. See if people will follow you then." 

Thankfully, before Pike could follow through with his threat which I believed he wanted to but wouldn't dare, not now, Miller came around from the opposite end of the hall. 

"Hey, everything alright here?" Miller asked, looking at me. 

A tense moment passed as Pike and I continued to stare each other down before he finally released me, and smoothed down the collar of my jacket. 

"Everything's fine," Pike said, his voice softer and normal. 

Miller narrowed his eyes. "Y/n?" 

I wiped some blood from my mouth. "Fine." 

Pike gave me one more glare before he sauntered away, clapping a respectful hand on Miller's shoulder. 

"You sure you're okay?" Miller asked, stepping closer to me. Surprisingly, he was rather reassuring. Maybe having his boyfriend Bryan back had softened him up a little. 

Now that the adrenaline was fading away, my cheek throbbed. But I ignored it. "Fine, Miller. Thanks." 

I gave him a small smile and a grateful squeeze of his arm, but as soon as I turned around, I let my facade fade away. Living here was really going to be a pain in the ass if Pike remained like this. And even worse if he got people to follow him. 

* * *

Being at the memorial felt rather uncomfortable. I felt like I was out of place, and showing fake sympathy. I hadn't really known anyone from Farm Station. Only Monty and Bryan the latter of whom I'd just met recently. I felt the loss of our people, I felt the sorrow others carried, but I knew there was nothing to be done about it now. 

I sat beside Bellamy, keeping my head down, unable to meet Pike's gaze. I'd let my temper get the better of me. At least Pike knew I wasn't one to fuck around with, but I still felt a strange sense of guilt. Like I'd given Pike exactly what he wanted. Keep my temper like that around if he became leader, and I'd end up under arrest, out of his way. 

"All that's certain is we die," Pike was saying, his voice that of a concerned, sympathetic leader. He had feelings, I guess. But everything about him so was misplaced. "How we die, is up to us." 

Bellamy slipped his hand into mine, and I smiled at him and snuggled closer to him. I had Bellamy, and that was all that mattered right now. 

"Who will speak for Iris Jones?" Pike asked. 

Bryan shakily got to his feet, and released Miller's hand. He walked to the front of the room, fiddling with the crumpled piece of paper in his hands. 

"Iris was strong," Bryan said, his voice wavering. "Good with a knife. She saved my life. I'm just sorry I couldn't do the same for her." 

I closed my eyes. Poor kid. I was lucky enough not to lose any close friends, but everyone had someone. 

Bryan opened a switchblade and added it to the memorial. Head down, he returned to his seat, and leaned into his boyfriend. 

Pike stepped forward again, and I kept my eyes closed. I didn't want to see his face. "We will miss Iris. May we meet again." 

 _May we meet again,_  everyone else responded. I spun my ring around my finger. As always, it was comforting. 

Just then, the doors to the room opened, and a few guards trickled in, angered and scared, heading straight for Pike. That was never a good combination, especially in soldiers. Instinctively, I got to my feet, straining to hear what they had to say. 

"I just saw 'em," one guard hissed. "Whole encampment. Three hundred strong. Just behind the ridge. It's a bunch of 'em. Grounders. They're coming."

Pike rushed over to Dad and Abby, probably to relay the information and get authorization to attack. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but Pike didn't look happy. 

"You gave a Grounder one of our radios?" He scoffed, catching everyone's attention.

Confused murmurs spread through the crowd and I felt the loathing swell. I caught Lincoln's eye and started making my way towards him, dragging Bellamy along with me. I did not have a good feeling about him being in the same room as grieving Farm Station members who blamed all Grounders on their pain. 

"Sir, are we under attack?" Hannah, Monty's mother, asked. 

"No," Dad reassured them. "We are not under attack. Their Commander sent a peacekeeping force to ensure that we can defend against any further attacks from the Ice Nation." 

"Peacekeeping force?" Pike challenged. "Even you can't be that naive, Marcus." 

I grit my teeth and huffed, but Bellamy squeezed my hand, which kept me from succumbing to my anger. 

Abby barked, "Watch your tone. You're speaking to the next Chancellor." Then she turned to the clamoring crowd. "We're all grieving. This has been hard on all of us. But we can't let anger drive our policy." 

"Anger is our policy!" Pike shouted, stepping up onto a soap box, which made my stomach churn. "If they're here to defend us, as you say, then tell them to go home. We can defend ourselves." 

"Yeah!" The crowd cheered. 

Not against Azgeda. Not if we offend the other clans. Not if we listened to a word Pike said.

"You. You don't belong here," one particularly enraged man growled, pointing at Lincoln. My eyes flicked down to his hand which held a rock, and I knew what was about to happen too late to stop it. "My boy is dead!" 

And he chucked the rock, striking the side of Lincoln's head. He stumbled back, and gingerly touched his bleeding wound. Bellamy and I raced towards him, pushing and shoving, holding back all the angry people who wanted a go at him to achieve some sort of sick faux vengeance. 

Someone threw a punch my way. I ducked and grabbed his arm then sent a blow to his gut. He stumbled back, but someone else took his place. In all the commotion I couldn't tell who was who, and I could only defend so many attacks. Right as a whistle blew, a man got in a good kick to my wounded leg. I let out a cry and dropped to one knee. Despite the aching in my thigh, I immediately got back to my feet. I would not be fallen so easily. 

"Break it up!" Pike yelled. "We do not attack our own!" 

I stifled a sharp, bitter laugh. What a hypocrite. 

"Fighting each other only makes us weak," Pike continued. "The enemy is not in this camp. The enemy is out there!" 

A hush fell. I glanced over at Bellamy who had a wild look in his eyes and...seemed to be buying it? No that wasn't right. I wasn't in my right mind. I was misreading him. 

"Lincoln, are you okay?" Abby asked, touching her hands to his face. He shoved her off. "Lincoln you need to go to medical." 

"I'm fine," he replied, stumbling out of the room. Definitely not fine, but we couldn't force him to get treatment, I guess. Not while there was this to deal with. 

But I couldn't stay here. I couldn't be around Pike or the people that attacked Lincoln, a friend who had been helpful beyond measure. I would always protect my people, but they were so stuck in their ways, so terrified they couldn't see the promise of safety if it slapped them in the face. 

I just hoped Bellamy didn't turn out the same way. 

* * *

By my third cup of moonshine, I finally felt the warm, euphoric buzz. It was a good distraction from all the dirty glares Pike's people had been shooting me. Couldn't a girl just get drunk in peace? 

Bellamy joined me, drinking a cup himself. But while I was drinking as an escape, he was drinking to wallow in angst. Neither were particularly good reasons to get drunk. 

"Hey," he said, taking a seat next to me. "Anyone sitting here?" 

"Yup. Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future, you know how tight we are," I teased, cracking a smile. "Future is not happy to be sat on." 

Bellamy put his arm around my shoulders shaking his head. "Cute." 

"I know." I took a sip of the bittersweet amber liquid. "How are you?" 

"How are  _you_?" Bellamy countered, running a finger over my cheek. "What happened to your face?" 

I brought a hand up to his and pulled it away from my face. "Got into a bit of a fight."

Turning all protective, Bellamy's voice went gruffer. "With who?"

I rubbed my thumb over his knuckles. He wouldn't believe me if I told him so it wasn't worth it. "No one important, Bel. I was just a little angry. Got out of hand." 

He sighed, and kissed my forehead. "I worry about you sometimes." 

"And I worry about you," I replied. "Are you going to be okay? I hope you're not gonna drown yourself in alcohol because you think Mount Weather exploding was your fault." 

Bellamy took a swig of his drink which I took meant he was still blaming himself for what happened. Seeing him like this was crushing me. And I didn't know what to do. Talking wasn't helping. All that seemed to do anything for both of us was just being close. Being there for each other. 

Pike approached our table, and irritation flared in my chest. He took a seat opposite us, and folded his hands on the table. "Kane, mind giving me and Bellamy some time to talk alone?" 

I narrowed my eyes. "Why?" 

He remained quiet, staring me down. I wanted to take him up on his silent challenge, but it was not the time or place. Bellamy wasn't responding to my words, so I doubted anything Pike had to say would make a difference either. 

I finished off my moonshine in one swallow. "Fine. Needed another cup anyway."

I stood up and shot Pike another glare before storming off to get a refill. I could leave them alone just fine, but both of them were daft if they thought I wasn't going to eavesdrop. Once I had a fresh cup of moonshine, I took to an empty table hidden behind a metal column close enough that I could listen in, but just hidden enough they wouldn't notice me. I hoped. 

"Let's talk about Mount Weather," Pike said. "I know you think it was your fault. Is that why you resigned?" 

I couldn't hear anything, but I assumed Bellamy was nodding. I rolled my eyes and took another sip from my cup. 

"You're right. It was your fault," Pike continued after a while of tense silence. I gripped so tight to my cup I swore it could have cracked. "Mine too. Every life we honored at the memorial we lost because we trusted a Grounder." 

I took another swig, hoping the pleasurable buzzing would drown out my building aggression. Grounders were not the problem here. 

"I talked you into it," Bellamy replied. Oh no. He wasn't seriously thinking all this happened because they took the word of an Azgeda warrior. They were different from the rest. Not all Grounders were the same! "I knew her and I vouched for her." 

"No, you don't get to own this one alone," Pike argued. At least he was trying to make Bellamy share the burden. Not that there should have been one in the first place. "I knew what they were capable of. When I let my guard down one day, and thirty-five of my people died. Never again." 

Unease crept up my spine. What the hell was Pike planning? 

"Never again," Bellamy agreed, followed by the clinking of cups.

I closed my eyes, as if that could make all this go away, as if it could change what happened.  _No, Bellamy! You know the Grounders are trying to help. Don't you trust Clarke? Me?_

"Kane's a good man," Pike said, his voice growing hushed. I had to strain even more to pick up every word. Good to know he still respected Dad, even if he hated me. My father deserved that respect more than I did. "I know you're close to him, and his daughter. But neither of them believe we are fighting a war." 

 _Because we aren't!_ I want to scream. Instead, I bite my tongue and take another sip. 

"They think Grounders can police Grounders," Pike continued, and with every word my irritation and nervousness swelled. This was not leading anywhere good. "And now they're in the woods outside our home, with a peacekeeping force?" 

"What would you do?" Bellamy asked. 

Pike paused. "What I  _wouldn't_ do is wait for them to hit us." 

My heart beat faster. Oh fuck. What was he suggesting? I finished off my drink and gripped tight to the cup. My knuckles whitened. 

"My scouts tell me that they've got three hundred soldiers and not a single gun between them," Pike continued. 

_Well duh. They don't use guns. They fight with honor._

I stared into my empty cup. Maybe I was a lot more like Octavia than I thought. 

"Ten highly motivated men with automatic rifles is all it would take. I've got the men." 

I stifled a gasp. Slaughter. He was going to slaughter the people Lexa sent to defend us. We'd really lose to Ice Nation. Killing all of them would be our death sentence. 

Bellamy murmured, thankfully unconvinced, "You're asking me to get you guns? That's treason." 

"That's survival," Pike countered. "The Grounders out there will attack this camp and our leaders do nothing." 

_Because they have sense. God, Bel, please have sense too._

"Right now, we have the element of surprise. We wait, we die!" 

A hush fell. I peeked around the side of the column and my heart sank when I saw the consideration on Bellamy's face. I was losing him. To Pike of all people. Why couldn't I get through to him, but this guy could? 

"Now, if they wanna call it treason," Pike continued, his voice lower than ever, "I'm willing to suffer the consequences to save our people. Are you?" 

 _Say no, Bel. Say no._ I pleaded internally. 

"Okay," he replied. 

My stomach plummeted. I slammed my cup down onto the table and raced out of the room. I was not going to let this happen. I was not going to let Pike turn my boyfriend against me. Against our only hope of avoiding war. 

* * *

I had done the best I could to warn my father about what was to come, to warn Lincoln. Anyone I knew would help. But it hadn't been in time to stop Bellamy from getting the guns. So I stood with the other guards at the front gate, arms crossed, steel in my eyes. 

Bellamy seemed surprised to see me there. Something pleading in his eyes told me to leave, but I jutted my chin out and hardened my glare. I was not going to let him kill Trikru. 

"You need to step aside, right now," Bellamy ordered, stepping ahead of Pike and the others, staring down each of us in turn. 

Harper challenged, "What are the guns for?"

"There's an army out there. We need to hit them before they hit us," Bellamy responded. 

I clenched my jaw. "That army was sent to protect us." 

"Do we have a problem?" Pike asked when he and the rest of his people stepped forwards. 

"No," Bellamy grunted, glaring at me. It was a heated glare, only one that could be given by someone feeling the pain of love, of betrayal, as if  _I_ was the one committing treason. "I have always done what's best for us. I need you to trust that I am doing that now." 

Monroe nodded, and left her post. Harper did the same, though I could feel her suspicion. 

"You too, Y/n. Lincoln," Bellamy said. 

I shook my head. 

Pike turned to Lincoln. "You wanna prove you're one of us, let us pass." 

I exchanged a glance with Lincoln to let him know I was on his side, that I wasn't leaving. I wasn't going to let this happen. Not willingly, anyway. 

"We're not moving," Lincoln growled. 

"Get outta the way Grounder," one of the men yelled, aiming his gun at Lincoln. 

Instinctively, I stepped in front of the barrel, and yanked the gun from his grip, tossing it to the ground. "You are not shooting my friend." 

Behind me, Lincoln hissed an apology, and I braced myself for what was to come. It was the last resort plan we'd come up with to hinder Bellamy at the very least. We hoped, anyway. 

Lincoln grabbed my shoulder and yanked me backwards, wrapping an arm around my throat, and holding a dagger against my face. 

"What the hell, Lincoln!" I shouted, feigning terror and struggling enough to make it look realistic. 

"Calm down you know I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered. 

"I know that, but they don't," I hissed. "Now act like you're gonna kill me."

Pike's men had their guns aimed at Lincoln, and even Pike looked concerned, though that was probably because other people were around. Even still, it was unmatched by the shocked terror in Bellamy's eyes. I felt a little guilty, but if this is what it took to kick some sense into him, then it had to be done. 

"Guns down, guns down!" Bellamy shouted. 

Pike held up his hands. "Do what he says. Now!" 

"So much for the good Grounder," Hannah muttered. 

"Quiet, Hannah," Pike snapped. "Whose people are you defending here, Lincoln." 

"Lincoln, put down the knife," Bellamy pleaded, meeting my eyes. I tried to look more scared than I felt. "No one has to get hurt here." 

Lincoln pressed the tip of the knife into my already bruised cheek, pricking blood. I winced, and something sparked in Bellamy's eyes. Maybe this hadn't been such a good plan. God I hoped Dad got here soon. "I can't let you start a war." 

"We're already at war!" Pike countered. 

Bellamy added, "You can't stop this."

The PA buzzed and a voice reverberated through the air. "All unstationed security personnel report to the main gate." 

Octavia burst through the crowd of people, and stood next to Lincoln. She shot me a questioning glance, but I gave a a reassuring one in response. I wasn't in danger. I was trying to help the Trikru. 

"What is wrong with you?" Octavia spat at her brother, who turned away like he'd been slapped in the face. 

Finally, my father broke through the crowd, followed by Abby and a few guards. All of Pike's men slowly and reluctantly lowered their guns to the ground. 

"Lincoln, you can let her go now," Dad said, nodding at me. 

Lincoln released his hold on me and I wiped away the thin trail of blood trickling down my face. I didn't leave his side, nor Octavia's. I said I would stand by them through this, and that was exactly what I was going to do, no matter how many dirty, hurt looks Bellamy shot me. We'd get through this too. Just in a rough patch. One night in lockup and he'd set his mind straight. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Abby barked, confronting Pike. 

"What you didn't have the guts to do," he responded. 

Kane approached Bellamy. "Did you arm these people?" 

Bellamy remained silent, and I clenched my hands into fists. One night in lockup, and he'd set his mind straight. I spun my ring around my finger. I had to have hope. Without hope, I wouldn't make it through. 

"Guards, take them to lockup," Abby ordered. "Now! Everybody back to your quarters. It's over!" 

"Nothing's over!" Pike shouted as the guards began to drag him away. "We are surrounded by warriors who want us dead!" 

"That's enough!" Dad yelled. 

"No, it isn't! Not even close. Why don't you show us all what you let the Grounders do to you yesterday?" Pike challenged. "Come on, Kane. I think the people who are about to vote for you have a right to know." 

"Show us, Kane!" Someone shouted. 

Another agreed, "Yeah, come on!" 

I stepped forward, to the edge of the gathering crowd, ready for a fight if I needed to protect my father. Crowds couldn't make reasonable decisions, and I felt the mistrust for the Kane bloodline growing. 

Dad rolled up his sleeve and held up his branded arm to the masses. "It's the mark of the Commander's coalition. It means we are the thirteenth clan. It means we are in this fight together!" 

"No," Pike snarled. "It's what farmers used to do to their livestock." 

"Right before the slaughterhouse!" Hannah added. 

Nervous energy pulsated in my veins. Panic and anger spread like wildfire in crowds, and I felt everyone completely shift, turning against my father, against everything he stood for - including peace with the Grounders. 

"Pike for Chancellor!" Someone shouted. 

My heart hammered in my chest. No. Oh  _God_ no. 

"Take him away," Abby ordered, and the guards dragged him away. 

And to my horror, Bellamy began to chant. "Pike! Pike! Pike!" 

Everyone else joined in, but I couldn't even look at him. Vomit crept up my throat. What the hell was happening to Bellamy? To everyone in this camp? 

Shocked, horrified, I turned away, and ran for the comfort of my bed. This couldn't be happening. 

* * *

I joined my father the next day to release the prisoners in lockup. I couldn't find it in me to meet Bellamy's eyes, I was so enraged. I stepped through the door, standing beside my father in support, glaring at anyone who I could - anyone that I hadn't kissed. 

Dad put his hands behind his back and his face turned to stone. "Congratulations, Mr. Chancellor." 

"Where's Abby?" Pike asked after a tense silence. 

"Wishes she could be here," I snapped, seething. The people had chosen wrong. History repeated itself it seemed. Our ancestors were never good at picking leaders either. 

Dad shot me a warning glance and I clamped my mouth shut. If I antagonized Pike or any of his followers now, I would spend my whole life in lockup. He held out his hand, offering Pike the Chancellor's pin. "Our people are now your responsibility, Charles. I hope you take that seriously." 

"Thank you, Marcus. I certainly intend to," Pike replied, his voice stern, with mocking undertones. My fingers curled into fists so tight my nails dug into my palm. Crescents of blood stung my skin. Bellamy shot me a concerned glance, but I looked away almost immediately. He didn't get to be concerned for me, not until he realized Pike was in the wrong.

"For my first official action as Chancellor, I pardon myself and the others," Pike announced, pinning the pin to his shirt.  "For my second official action, I reject the brand that made us the thirteenth clan. For my third," he turned to the others in the cell with him, "let's finish what we started." 

They all nodded, and involuntary tears stung my eyes. They were going to kill three hundred people and now there was nothing I could do to stop it. 

All of them filed out of the room, Bellamy the last to go. Dad stepped in front of him and said, "It's not too late to choose the right side." 

He glanced over at me, and I met his gaze for a second, but I couldn't hold it. "I already have." 

And then he was gone. I crouched down, burying my face into my hands. I'd lost him. Dad put a comforting hand on my back. I shoved him off and stared blankly after Bellamy. I wasn't going to give up on him. Nor my Dad. I would make all of this right, somehow. And by God, I was going to use every extent of my anger that I possibly could. 

I was going to raise hell if it would get Bellamy to change his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay maybe the fight scene with Pike was a little much but it was very cathartic for me so whatever. Hope y'all are enjoying! It hurts me to write Bellamy like this. I'm honestly so mad at him but that's neither here nor there. Stay tuned for another update!


	5. Hakeldama

Arms crossed, I stood beside Octavia as the gates opened and the soldiers returned. I stared at Bellamy, at the blood that coated his uniform, his face. Haunted, hollow eyes stared back at me when I met his gaze. I exhaled slowly and tried not to cry. I couldn't have stopped this. But I wasn't sure if I could fix Bellamy now. Not after he helped slaughter an entire army. 

When he walked by us, Octavia ran to him to see if he was okay, but I remained rooted to the spot. Nausea twisted my stomach around and I swallowed back some bile. 

Pike stepped through the crowd and up onto a platform. "Listen up! Twenty-four hours ago, you elected me your Chancellor. Every action I've taken since, and every action I will take, will be to achieve once sacred goal. The creation of a self-sustaining, prosperous, and safe Arkadia!" 

Bullshit. We were no longer safe, not after that slaughter outside our gates. But still, most of the crowd cheered in response. I grit my teeth. 

"This morning, on a muddy field," Pike continued, relishing in the praise, "our people payed tribute to those who have been taken from us, by sending a message to the Grounders. This land is ours now." 

Everyone cheered again, and I took a step back. 

"Resist and you will be met by force. Fight and you will be greeted by death!" Another pause for cheering. It was sickening. "Today is a new beginning. Mark it down, remember it, just like the Grounders will remember it!"

More cheers. I turned and glanced at Lincoln who had more hurt in his expression than I'd seen in a long time. Those were his people they'd just killed. He didn't deserve this, and neither did they. 

Pike stepped down and headed for the Chancellor's chambers, followed by Bellamy. I turned to Octavia, feeling emptier than I had in a while. 

"No wounded," I muttered, my throat taut with anger and despair. "Ten against three hundred and no wounded." 

Neither Octavia nor Lincoln said anything in response. I didn't blame them. There was nothing to say in the face of this horror. I still found it hard to believe. How could I take that in so easily? How could I take in the fact that the man I loved just killed hundreds of people who were trying to help us? 

* * *

"Is it true you tried to leave camp to see Indra yesterday?" Dad asked Octavia, as the three of us headed through the halls of Arkadia. I wasn't exactly sure why he'd called us, but I was ready to do anything to help fix what Pike had broken. 

Octavia gripped tight to the hilt of her sword. "Look don't you have more important things to worry about than who's sneaking out of camp?" 

We pushed aside a red tarp covering the entrance to a hallway. A rather deserted hallway that not many people came through. What did he have in mind? 

"As it turns out," Dad replied, "that's why you're here." 

I glanced over my shoulder, looking to make sure no one was listening in. Then I raised an eyebrow at my father. "You want both of us to sneak out?" 

He nodded. "Indra signaled. She wants to meet. I'd go myself, but Pike is watching everything I do now." 

"You want us to go see Indra?" Octavia whispered, reinforcing my question. 

Dad handed her a sword wrapped in cloth, and slipped me a bow. My bow. I hadn't touched it in a few days, and its smooth warmth brought my a strange comfort. Despite everything, a small smile twitched at my lips. 

"I need you to. You two are the only ones optimal for the job." 

Octavia and I exchanged glances. I slung the bow and quiver over my shoulder. 

"I'm in," I said. 

"So am I," Octavia agreed, "but how do we get out? The gate is armed with-" 

She stopped short as Dad lifted up part of the wall revealing a tunnel behind it. I snorted. Amazing. Both of us hopped into the tunnel. 

"Crawlspace door in twenty feet," Dad explained. "Drops you outside the camp wall. Get out there. You find out what the hell happened and you report back here. Can you do that?" 

I already had a feeling of what happened, but I supposed I needed to see it for myself. There could still be something missing. Maybe they hadn't killed anyone at all. Maybe I wasn't losing Bellamy.

Octavia nodded. "I was born for this." 

She headed down the tunnel. I flashed my father a smile, and then I followed after her.

When finally we popped out the other side, I rubbed my knees and flexed my fingers. I took a deep breath of fresh air. Even though it was the same air as inside the camp, it somehow was fresher, sweeter, better. Probably because I wasn't trapped inside the walls with Pike. I exchanged a smile with Octavia. In spite of the depth of our mission, we were enjoying our brief moment of freedom. 

But as we climbed up the hill towards where the army had been stationed, that relief faded away. The air grew thick, heavy with the stench of death. When we reached the top, my heart dropped. I drew my bow, gripping it tight in my hand as we walked through the blood soaked ground. Flies buzzed everywhere. Vomit crept up my throat again, and I couldn't force it away. I could barely breathe. They had killed every last warrior. 

I couldn't even find it in me to cry. 

Octavia looked just as horrified as I did. I shared a heartbroken glance with her and then headed for the tent at the edge of the crimson field. We pushed aside the tarpaulin checkered with holes and stepped into the tent. 

"Octavia?" Clarke turned, surprised. "Y/n? Where's your father?" 

"He sent us," I said, my voice much smaller than I expected it would be. I couldn't push the images outside from my mind, nor eliminate the stench from my nose. My eyes rolled over who Clarke was treating and we stepped forwards. "Indra." 

"Thank God," Octavia breathed, kneeling down next to her. 

"How did this happen?" Lexa growled. 

I grimaced and turned to her, my eyes cold and hard. "My father Kane lost the election to Pike."

"Everything's different," Octavia added, supporting me. 

Lexa turned to Clarke, eyes sparking. "Your people voted for this." 

"No. No, I don't believe that," Clarke said, turning to me. 

I glared at her. Maybe I was a little angrier with her staying in Polis than I thought. Part of me believed that if she had been in Arkadia, Pike wouldn't have been elected and the massacre wouldn't have happened. "How would you know, Clarke? You haven't been here." 

She sighed. "Listen to me. The Grounder army is gonna be here in less than a day. I need to see Bellamy." 

At the sound of his name, I went rigid, both burning with fire and frozen with cold. I gripped so hard to my bow that my knuckles cracked. "Bellamy was a part of this. He's with Pike. What makes you think he'll help us?" 

Clarke put a gentle hand on my shoulder. "He saved Indra's life." 

I glanced over at her, and Indra gave a slight bow of her head. So he'd saved one person, albeit one I was rather fond of. But it didn't change the fact that he'd taken Pike's side. It didn't change the fact that he'd partook in the massacre. 

"If what Y/n is saying is true," Clarke said turning to Lexa, "then Pike trusts him. If I can get to him, he can get to Pike." 

I snorted and muttered beneath my breath, "Good luck. Not even I could do anything." 

"Clarke, you can't just walk through the gates," Lexa argued. "You've been living with their enemy. If it were me, I'd kill you on the spot." 

Octavia glanced over at me, and I nodded. "We can get her in." 

* * *

We'd sneaked Clarke into Arkadia back through the ventilation shaft that we'd come through. We left her in a room no one would go into, at least not for a while and then I went to go fetch Bellamy. I argued that it should have been Octavia because she was his sister, but then she retaliated that he was in love with me and she was too angry to talk to him. And then she left before I got to make my case against her point. 

Images of the battlefield still replaying in my head, I stomped through the halls until I found Bellamy. He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, watching other guards lead away a few Grounders to lockup. At the tail end was Lincoln. 

"Lincoln?" I called. He looked over his shoulder. 

"I'm okay," he replied. "Tell Octavia not to fight this." 

I wanted to go after him, but Bellamy grabbed onto my elbow and pulled me back. "He's right." 

I glared at him. "What the hell is going on?" 

"We're interning the Grounders," Bellamy replied. "Lincoln's here because of a disturbance in sick bay." 

Seething with rage, I yanked my arm from his grip. "What is happening to you?" 

"Y/n-" 

"I saw what you and Pike did to Lexa's army," I snarled. "Bellamy you killed everyone!" 

He pursed his lips. "Keep your voice down." 

I leaned in closer to him, my temper taking hold. I didn't care. I was absolutely livid. "What's wrong? You're not proud of massacring an army that was here to help us?"

His eyes flashed with the same hurt and anger that pulsated in my veins. "We're not doing this here." 

"Good, then let's go. Cause I'm not even close to being done," I spat. I nodded my head down the hall and we both turned. He put a hand on my arm, but I tore it away from his grip. 

Rounding another corner, Bellamy spoke to me again. "You need to be careful, Y/n. If you keep this up, I won't be able to protect you." 

"Thanks for the warning," I grunted, not looking over at him. I didn't need protecting. I could take Pike. I could take anyone here who wanted to pick a fight with me. 

Bellamy huffed. "I'm serious. Look at yourself. It's time to stop playing Grounder before you get yourself hurt." 

I whirled on him, fighting the urge to punch him. "I'm not playing anything, Bellamy. We're together. I shouldn't have to tell you that." 

He sighed, and crossed his arms. I didn't wait for him to say anything, instead I just opened the door to the room we'd left Clarke in. His eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks when he saw her. 

"Now I'm done," I said, glaring at him. I pushed past him and slammed the door shut behind me. I hoped for all our sakes Clarke was right. I hoped she could get through to him, or tomorrow, the Grounders were going to completely wipe us out.

* * *

Octavia and I lied in wait around a corner. I was absolutely fed up. Whatever was going on with Bellamy, it was going to take a lot more than I thought to get him to choose the right side. When I found out he'd detained Clarke, I was furious. 

"Pike should be in his quarters," Bellamy's voice echoed from down the hall. 

"Bellamy you don't have to do this," Clarke cried. 

They were getting closer. I gripped tight to my bow. 

"Yes, I do," Bellamy replied. "Believe it or not, I'm doing this for your own good." 

I dashed out of our hideout, followed closely behind by Octavia. "Believe it or not, I'm doing this for yours." 

I kneed the other guard in the gut, struck him in the knee and kicked him to the ground, then dashed him over the dead with the heaviest part of my bow. He went unconscious. 

Bellamy huffed. "You can't just hit a guard." 

"I just did!" I fired back. "Let her go." 

Bellamy pulled Clarke behind him. "I can't do that." 

Chatter echoed from down the opposite end of the hall. Guards were coming. Octavia and I had only a couple of seconds to get her out of here. 

"You should go," Bellamy suggested. 

I turned around and glanced at the unconscious guard on the ground. My eyes strayed to his shock baton. I felt a little guilty about it, but making sure Clarke didn't fall into Pike's hands was more important. Without any more hesitation, I grabbed it from the guard's belt and extended it. 

"Sorry, Bel," I murmured, before lashing him with the baton. Electricity coursed from the weapon into Bellamy and he collapsed to the ground. 

Clarke shuffled through his belt looking for the keys to her cuffs. We were running out of time. 

"Hurry up," Octavia hissed. 

Finally, she got the keys, and we raced through the halls towards the secret ventilation shaft. I tried to shove away the guilt I felt for shocking Bellamy. He deserved that, at the very least. I could apologize for it later, when he was in his right mind. 

Near the secret exit, we ran into Abby and Dad. Clarke flew into her mom's arms and hugged her tight. 

"We heard what Pike did," Abby said, rushing her words. "Is there anything we can do to prevent a retaliation?" 

"Abby, hurry," Dad breathed, holding up the stone door that covered the shaft. 

"We came here to give them Pike," Octavia explained. 

Dad shook his head. "He's the duly elected Chancellor. Our people knew what they were voting for. Besides he has all the guards and the guns. Can't get close to him." 

Which meant we couldn't stop the war he started. 

"And that's not the way we do things," Abby added. 

I narrowed my eyes and wasn't even aware of the words breezing past my lips until they already hung heavy in the air. "Then maybe it's time we changed the way we do things." 

They all looked at me with strange expressions, though Octavia seemed to agree with me. If giving up Pike to the army was what it took to stop the slaughter of our people and more of theirs, then I didn't see why not. Thankfully, Dad didn't seem so disappointed at my thoughts. Maybe he agreed with me. Pike was as much his enemy as mine. 

 _Security breach. Lock-down commencing._ An announcement echoed over the PA. 

"You need to go, now," Dad ordered, gesturing at Octavia and Clarke. I hung back. I figured there was more good I could do here than out there. Octavia was much better at blending into Grounder culture than I was. 

"What about Lincoln?" Octavia asked. 

"You want to help him? Do it from the outside. With this." Dad handed her a walkie. "The range isn't great. Stay close and wait for me or Y/n to contact you." 

"I'll keep my eye on Lincoln for you," I reassured her. "I won't let anything happen. Go!"

Octavia nodded and jumped into the shaft. Clarke followed after her and I flashed a smile. I hoped they could figure something out. If they could stop the army, I could figure out a way to stop Pike. Given the right amount of time, with the help of my Dad and a few others, we could get rid of Pike. We could save Arkadia. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was kinda short, but the next couple are probably gonna be the same. Hopefully you continue reading though and hopefully you're enjoying!


	6. Bitter Harvest

"You two step aside in case anyone answers," Dad ordered as Miller and I accompanied him towards Pike's chambers. We'd come up with a plan to bug the office so we could listen in and make our own plans based off what they talked about. If we were caught, we'd be arrested or worse, but I was willing to risk it. 

Miller rolled his eyes. "I told you, no one's home." 

I smirked at Miller and stood off to the side of the door with him, just on the off chance someone did answer. Dad knocked, but after waiting for a while, no one responded. 

Miller chuckled softly. 

Dad looked over at him. "What?" 

"Bet you didn't think we'd break the law together when you arrested me on the Ark, huh?" He joked. I snorted, and smiled at him, but it dropped immediately when Dad grabbed his collar. 

"This isn't a game, Nate," he grunted. "If we don't find out what Pike's up to, more people will die." 

"Then let's not get caught," I suggested. 

Dad gave me a single nod, and turned back to the door. He typed in the code and then it beeped. Pushing the door open, just a crack, he peered inside to make sure no one was there. 

From down the hall, we heard someone greet Chancellor Pike. Nervous energy exploded in my veins. God I hoped he didn't catch us. 

"Hey," Dad handed me the bug. "You put this somewhere smart. Out of sight. I'll buy you some time. Nate, protect her if anything goes wrong." 

I rolled my eyes but didn't say anything. I would be too busy planting the bug to be aware of my surroundings, so having Miller was rather comforting, I guess. Together, we slipped inside the office, and I closed the door as I watched my father head down the hall. 

I turned to Miller. "Alright, let's get this over with."

He offered me a small smile and kept his eyes trained on the door, gun at the ready. "Pouring yourself into dangerous work to distract from the fact that your boyfriend has turned into a major dick?" 

I huffed and prowled the room, looking for the best spot to put the bug. "Not the time Miller. Don't make me pissed at you too. I'm getting tired."

Miller shrugged. "Sorry, Kane." 

"It's fine," I replied, my eyes landing on the table in the middle of the room. "You're right. I'm not gonna fight with you on that. I don't need to lose another friend." 

"Ah," he said, waving me off. "We've been through too much." 

I crouched down and planted the bug underneath the table in a crevice where it wouldn't be noticed. "So has Bellamy." 

Sure that the bug would stay, I stood back up. "Alright, let's go."

Miller's lips turned up in a victorious smile, mimicking mine, and together we raced out of the room. Rounding the corner, we slowed. Dad was arguing with Pike and Bellamy. I gave him a single nod to let him know the job was done, and then I sauntered away. 

* * *

Miller, my Dad, and I all sat in a room mostly hidden from the people. It was to become our regular meeting spot to listen in on Pike and his followers. Atop a small coffee-table in the middle of our room sat a radio hooked up to the bug I'd planted. 

I leaned against the wall, taking a break from pacing to better listen to the conversation in Pike's office. 

"Okay, let's get this meeting started," Pike said. "Welcome Farm Station's own Monty Green and Factory girl Zoe Monroe as we begin our next crucial phase expansion and salvation." 

I scrunched my nose and my lips curled into a frown. Monty took Pike's side too? How many of my friends were turning into my enemies? When would it end?

"And this will lead the way," Pike said. 

"Dirt?" Monroe scoffed. 

"Soil," Pike corrected. "Fertile, arable soil. Vastly more rich than anything we've found since the landing." 

I exchanged a concerned glance with my father. I didn't like where this was going. 

"We'll clear the trees and plant within the month," Pike continued. 

"We should start with soy beans and corn," Hannah suggested. "They grow the fastest." 

"What's wrong, Monty?" Bryan teased. I looked at Miller who had his eyes closed. Just as my boyfriend was following Pike, so was his. Although, they were acting vastly different about it. "Don't like corn?" 

"I've never had corn, actually," Monty retorted. "Is this where we're going?" 

"That's right," Pike responded. 

"There's a village there," Monty said, his voice wavering. "What about the people who live there?" 

"That's sector four. We talked about this. The people there are not a threat," Bellamy reasoned. I sighed in relief. Maybe he wasn't totally insane right now. 

Pike argued, "We need that land. With the loss of Mount Weather's resources Arkadia will be starving in less than a year."

Silence. I sat down across the table from my father, furrowing my eyebrows. I hoped that wasn't enough to convince Bellamy or any of the others that it was a good idea to kill an entire village for their land. 

"With all due respect sir," Bellamy avowed, "you still haven't answered Monty's question." 

I bit my lip in anticipation. 

"You know the answer," Pike replied. "Every field must be cleared of stones before it's tilled." 

I curled my hands into fists. Stinging greeted me. The wounds my nails had afflicted in my palms the day Pike was elected never had the chance to heal with the lethal amounts of anger coursing through me. 

Hannah warned, "We were spotted by a child, so they'll be expecting us. But they lost their fighters when we took out the army. We don't expect resistance." 

"They're Grounders!" Monty shouted. I flinched at the stiffness of his voice. What the hell was he doing working for Pike? "They'll resist." 

A pause. Then Bellamy spoke again. "Even if they don't resist, the Commander's message was clear. Blood must not have blood. That doesn't mean we can start taking-"

Pike interrupted him, making my blood boil. "What would you prefer? Die fighting for your home? Or starve to death? Will you do what needs to be done for your people to survive, or not?" 

More tense silence. I leaned in closer to the radio as if that would change the answer. I looked between Miller and Dad, sharing my concern.

"We'll do what needs to be done," Bellamy finally said. 

My stomach dropped, and I put my head in my hands. He had truly changed. This was not the man that I'd fallen in love with. 

* * *

In the garage, Bellamy's team was loading up on guns and gear to head out for the village. I headed straight for Bellamy, forcing a small, faux smile onto my face. What we were hoping to get out of this conversation, I wasn't sure. Maybe Dad thought because we were in a relationship - albeit rather rocky right now - Bellamy might listen to me, or divulge more information to us. I doubted it. 

"That's a lot of firepower," I grunted. 

Bellamy nodded. "Let's hope we don't need it." 

"What's the mission?" I implored, trying to hide the growing rage I felt. 

"Planning for the future." 

Yeah, planning for the future my ass. I couldn't help it. I couldn't be civil around this version of Bellamy, one worse than the ass I'd always butted heads with when it was just the hundred. "You know, that looks a lot like our past." 

Bellamy sighed, and his voice went softer. "We're building a life here. Not trying to make peace with people who only understand war." 

I scoffed, anger seething. "Fine. But I don't know you. You are not the man I fell in love with. And I can't look at your face without remembering that field of people you killed." 

Bellamy clenched his jaw. "So what are you saying?" 

"You know exactly what I'm saying, Blake," I snapped. 

He went rigid, and turned to everyone else. "Let's move out!" 

I caught Monty's eye, pleading him not to do this, not to go with them, but he was unreachable. Knowing it was useless to stop this mission, I turned away and stormed out of the garage. As soon as the door closed behind me, I burst into tears. Even though Bellamy was changing, it still hurt to lose him. I loved him. And this was the last thing I wanted. But I couldn't be with him. Not anymore. 

I was almost jealous of the fact that Miller and Bryan were still doing fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, lots of short chapters in the middle here. Super sorry, but at least they're coming out fast! Also, sorry for this breakup lmao. Hurt me to write. Anyways, stay tuned for another update!


	7. Terms and Conditions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I forgot there was nothing about Arkadia in episode seven, so we gotta cut one chapter, sorry! It'll still be good!!

As I understood it, Lexa had called upon all the clans to set up a blockade around our encampment. Anyone who crossed the line immediately had a kill order on them. I thought it was smart. Eventually our people would get fed up and offer up Pike. I hoped. I was doing a lot of that lately. Not sure how well it was working out. 

I spun my ring around my finger as I listened to the radio, along with Miller, Harper, and Dad. Even though I'd broken up with Bellamy, I still kept the ring, still held on to the feeble hope that he would snap out of it, that I'd get  _my_ Bellamy back. I'd been doing that a lot lately; relying on hope. It felt strange, banking on something so intangible and petty. Like a comforting lifeboat made of rope and wood that I knew would sink if one thread was pulled.

"Our lookouts confirm another three encampments just over that ridge," Bellamy informed.

Pike scoffed. "Well they're not hiding from us, that's for sure." 

Because they're containing us, dumbass. 

"How many days can we keep our population fed without being able to send out hunting parties?" Pike asked. 

Hannah replied, "Food and water stores were already at less than sixty percent. Now, maybe a week before we go critical? Two if we start rationing immediately." 

Pike sighed. "Immediately it is."

"What about breaking the blockade?" 

Pike grunted. "After Bellamy's theatrics this morning, they'll expect that." 

I snorted, and stopped spinning my ring. Bellamy had shot two messengers earlier without even blinking an eye. My stomach churned. So much blood on his hands and he didn't even care. 

"Regardless, we can't engage the Grounders until we've got our own people under control," Pike continued. "And that starts with Marcus Kane." 

My blood ran cold. I looked at my father, eyes panicked. They were coming after him. Maybe me too. 

"I need you to suspend access to the prisoners," Pike ordered. "No contact with anyone in camp. For all we know, they've been providing intel on Grounder villages to the Kanes." 

"Yes sir," Bellamy replied. 

I scowled. Hope diminished ever further. That thread was fraying. Bellamy didn't care about me anymore. Pike had twisted him in all the wrong ways. 

"And I want you to take over coordination of camp surveillance. We'll need new security protocols at every camp entrances." 

"Maybe changing critical passwords every twelve hours?" It was Monty who replied. I shook my head. I still couldn't believe that he of all people was in support of this. 

"Good," Pike remarked. "Coordinate with your mom but keep the circle tight. Then there's the matter of camp-wide surveillance." 

Monty scoffed. "You want us to spy on our own people?" 

Pike replied, "We can't do what's needed to defend this camp if every order I give is leaked before it can be executed. It's an old saying, but true. The walls have ears.

"Now, we can't afford any more assumptions about who is a friend, and who isn't. Not your oldest acquaintance. Not your husband, wife, or lover. We're fighting two wars now. And the more dangerous one is here, inside this camp. We can't prove it yet, but Kane and his accomplices passed information to Octavia. I know none of you signed up to investigate your neighbors. But Monroe and Lacroix died because the traitors in this camp sold them out to the Grounders. Whoever did that will be hunted down and exposed for what they did to their own, for what they did to us." 

A pause. My heart hammered in my chest. Ironic that my father was marked as a traitor after all he'd done for the Ark. Not ironic that I was a traitor. 

Pike continued, "Now you get whatever resources, whatever personnel you need to make that happen. Dismissed." 

I flipped the radio off, fuming. 

Dad frowned. Behind his eyes, I could see the gears turning, ideas and plans popping up. "If they're going to play that game we need to play it too." 

"Meaning?" Harper implored. 

"We don't meet here again, for starters," Dad suggested, getting to his feet, carrying a frantic energy about him. "We change our patterns, forget our habits. Take a different route through camp each time we go out. Assume there are eyes on us at all times." 

I snorted. "Or we could just shock-lash Pike's fascist ass and hand him to the Grounders." 

Harper and Miller chuckled in agreement. 

"That would be murder," Dad replied gruffly, locking eyes with me. "Not to mention treason. And that's not who we are." 

Miller muttered, "Maybe it's who we need to be."

Dad shook his head. "Not yet." 

"Alright, then, what's the plan?" Harper asked. 

Dad paced around the room for a moment. And then his eyes lit up. Just like mine whenever I had a crazy dangerous idea. 

* * *

Next time we met, we were in the same hall as the secret ventilation shaft. I sat on a stack of empty barrels, chewing my fingernails to distract my mind from my nerves. Finally, my Dad pushed aside the red tarpaulin and entered the hall.

"Hey," he greeted us. "Anyone followed?" 

I shook my head. "No. What about you?" 

"No, I'm good. Any word from Octavia?"

Harper shrugged. "I've been scanning different channels all morning. Nothing. Either she's out of range-" 

"Or they already got her," Miller cut her off. 

Way to be optimistic. Not that I was feeling particularly positive myself, but I didn't believe Octavia of all people was dead. "Or she ran the battery down."

"Or she needed radio silence to run the blockade," Dad added, staring down Miller. "There are a lot of reasons why she might've gone dark." 

Miller crossed his arms. "I've been out there patrolling for the last three months. I know this area better than any Grounder. Just let me go out-"

"Guys!" Harper interrupted. "Listen to this." 

She unhooked her headphones from her receiver and Pike's voice crackled through. 

"The results of this morning's munitions inventory was sobering. In no way do we currently have the ammo for an extended series of firefights. Not even close." 

"So what's plan B?" Bellamy asked. 

"Our lookouts say the largest Grounder encampment is in this valley. So we deploy an assault team in Rover one. And we do as much damage as we can with automatic weapons."

"Then they'll just fall back and make a run for reinforcements," Hannah countered. 

Pike said, "I'm counting on that. The only way there and back is over this ridge. Now we can bottleneck their warriors and pick them off." 

"We got firepower for that?" Bellamy grunted. 

I tensed, and bit my lip. Every time I heard his voice now, it grated against my skull. Worse than Pike. Because I had always hated Pike. But I'd always loved Bellamy. 

"We won't need it. We have a dozen concussive anti-personnel devices in our armory," Pike explained. "I've already got a weapons man rigging them with a remote trigger. We load the APDs into the rover and mine the field before the attack. After we strike, we lure their reinforcements onto the ridge, and once we have enough Grounders in the killing box, we detonate. It'll buy us some time but time's what we need. We move at dawn." 

Miller put his hands behind his head in distress. I ran my hand through my hair. This was not good. We had to do something to stop that rover. Killing more Grounders wouldn't break the blockade. It would only make things worse. 

"Alright," Dad said, scratching at his beard, pacing. "We need to disable that rover." 

"If they take it out," I added, "it doesn't matter how many Grounders they kill. Ten times that number will descend on Arkadia. And no one will survive." 

Harper snorted. "You got any idea how we're gonna stop them?" 

Dad's face hardened. "I might." 

* * *

So far, the plan had worked. Phase one, anyway. Dad had convinced Sinclair to get caught tinkering with the rover. Now that he had been arrested and sent to lockup with the other Grounders, phase two was going to follow close behind. 

I stood in the garage, arms crossed staring at the rover that Pike was planning on taking out to murder more Grounders. Dread flowed through me like molasses. Not only for the rover, but also for the coming conversation. The wound the breakup left was still too fresh, and I feared I would burst into tears upon seeing Bellamy's face. Or break every bone in his hands. Or both. 

But when he showed up at my side, I kept my face stoic. I was doing this to save my people. And maybe my relationship, if this infernal conversation did anything. 

"It wasn't much of a plan," Bellamy muttered after a while of tense silence. "Sabotaging the rover. Keeping an eye on Sinclair was an easy call." 

"Was it?" I growled, poison dripping from my words. "Spying on your friend. That was easy?" 

Bellamy's gaze hardened, but behind the steel in his eyes I caught a glimpse of hurt. Good. He was hurting from our breakup too. So he was still in there somewhere. Deep down. Way deep down. "People in camp are losing focus. There's a threat outside these walls-"

"The threat's inside these walls!" I snapped. "Can't you see that? Pike is turning us against each other." 

"He's the Chancellor," Bellamy challenged, his hands on his hips. "Have you forgotten that?" 

I scoffed, narrowing my eyes. "No. I haven't." 

"Then do the right thing." 

I turned my gaze to the ceiling, trying to push my anger down. Causing a scene right now was not part of the plan. It was just to talk to Bellamy. To see if he had any sense. Then I forced myself to meet Bellamy's eyes. Vehemence lined every word I ground out. "No matter how I look at it, I am." 

"Really?" Bellamy scoffed. "Because the way I see it, Monroe died because of your father." 

"And now Pike's locked up Sinclair," I shot back. "You don't think he'll be the next to die?" 

Bellamy furrowed his eyebrows, as if offended at the prospect. "Of course not." 

"Think about where this ends," I reasoned, trying to make my voice more civil and less antagonizing. "Half the camp behind bars. While the other half starves. People won't stand for it. They'll turn against Pike. But by then it'll be too late." 

Bellamy looked down at his feet and then to me again, shifting uncomfortably. "Pike has a plan." 

"Pike always has a plan! And it's always the same one!" I hissed. "Take the fight to the Grounders.  _That's_ what got Monroe killed. Not my father." 

"He was crossing a line, Kane," Bellamy said, emphasis on my last name. Which I assumed meant he had lost a significant amount of respect for me. Fine. Feeling was mutual. 

"No," I seethed, fury burning in my eyes. "No he crossed it. Now I asked you here, because my father thinks I can persuade you to join us. It's still not too late. To pick the right side, nor for us." 

Bellamy looked down, and for a moment he seemed to be considering it. Hope flourished in my chest if only for a moment. When he met my gaze again, it was crushed. "That's exactly what I came here to tell you." 

We stared each other down for what felt like an eternity. There was so much hurt, doubt, behind his eyes, masked by that anger he felt. Mirrored by my own. But there was nothing I could do to save him from drowning in his own emotions. 

I pursed my lips and without another word, turned and walked away. 

Guess phase two was a-go. Time for a little chaos. 

* * *

Alarms blared, and I raced out of Arkadia to the front gates. I gripped tight to my bow. Knowing it was against Pike's law for me to have it since I wasn't a part of the guard, I kept it as hidden as possible on my person. I was only going to use it in an emergency, seeing as I didn't really want to shoot my own people. Not even just to deter. 

I smiled in relief when I saw my father come barreling out of the garage, heading full speed for the gate. So far the plan was working. While everyone was distracted with the riot in lockup, Dad had the opportunity to knock out Pike and put him in the back of a rover to deliver him to the Grounders. Everything was going to be okay. 

But then Bellamy ran out in front of Dad, gun brandished, holding his ground. Quick as lightening, I nocked an arrow and aimed it at him, ready to fire. I grit my teeth, willing myself to let the arrow fly to make him get out of the way, but I couldn't. I still loved him and I couldn't hurt the man I loved. With a grunt of exasperation, I returned my arrow to the quiver and threw my weapon down, stashing it under part of the fence. 

Tires screeched and Dad stopped the rover inches from running over Bellamy.

"Get the hell out of the way, Bellamy!" Dad yelled, wild with desperation. 

But Bellamy only glared at him, stoic and unrelenting until more guards came forward and pulled Dad from the rover, and freed Pike. 

We had been so close. So damn close to solving all our problems. And now because of Bellamy, everything was going to be even worse. 

I stepped out of my hiding spot and to the edge of the gathering crowd. Heart hammering in my chest, I couldn't look away as they clamped cuffs around my father's wrists. I blinked away a few tears. He'd be okay. He'd just be locked up until we got rid of Pike. Everything would be fine. 

* * *

I was wrong. As I eavesdropped outside of the interrogation room, my heart practically stopped. Pike's words toiled over and over in my mind, taunting me, haunting me. 

_"Marcus Kane! For the crimes of treason, kidnapping, and attempted murder, I hereby sentence you to death."_

A mangled, inhuman scream escaped my lips and my hand flew to my mouth. I fell to my knees and a stream of tears trailed down my cheeks. When guards led Dad out of the room, I let my grief take over. I'd already lost my mom. I couldn't lose my dad too. 

I leaped to my feet, and ran towards the guards, fighting them to get to my father. They pushed me back, but I didn't care. 

"You can't do this!" I screeched, shoving down one guard, and locking my arms around my father, desperate for one last hug, desperate to hold him, to free him, for anything. "Please, you can't take him from me!" 

"Y/n, don't fight this," Dad urged me, his eyes frantic. "Don't fight this!" 

Blind with rage, I couldn't register what he was saying to me. All I knew was my father was marked for death and I had to do something to save him. I punched one of the other guards that came after me. My knuckles split as I made contact with his face, but I didn't care. As I threw another punch, the guard caught my wrist and twisted my arm behind my back. 

Seething with the same burning, all-consuming anger that had taken over me when I lost my mom coursed through me now. It gave me a new strength, a burst of adrenaline that allowed me to yank free of the guard pinning me and wheel around to attack again. But he was ready, a shock baton in hand. Before I could duck out of the way, electricity was coursing through me, stinging my skin, painful all the way to the bone. 

I groaned in pain and looked up at Dad, my vision fuzzy. 

"Hey, stop!" He yelled, as the guard raised the baton to strike me again. "She has nothing to do with this!" 

The guard clenched his jaw and put his weapon away, dragging my father towards lockup. Teary eyed, pulsing with pain, I watched him go. As the electricity ebbed away, I could finally get to my feet. At the same time, Bellamy walked out of the room, and I couldn't stop my impulse. Raging, I lurched forwards, grabbed the collar of his coat, and shoved him against the wall. 

"How could you?" I growled, my voice taut with more emotion, more fury than I thought possible. I threw a punch at his face, and my already bloody knuckles got redder. He didn't even flinch. "Fuck you Bellamy!" 

His eyes wide, he didn't say anything. Only a single tear slipped down his face. Why? Sad that he had sent my father to his death? Hurt because I hated him now? In pain from my strike to his cheek? Crying for sympathy? I didn't care why that tear manifested. I didn't care about anything except for my father. 

Two guards came to Bellamy's aid, grabbing my arms. I fought them, keeping my grip tight on Bellamy's collar. But in the end, they were too strong for me and they dragged me away from him. I thrashed, burning with sorrowful anger. Tears streamed down my face.

"If you let my father die you're dead to me!" I screamed, feeling my throat go raw. "Dead to me!" 

Another tear slipped down his face, and he didn't wipe away the blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. Just stared at me with a broken spirit. 

I pulled one arm free of the guards and slipped the ring off. With all the force I could muster, I chucked it at him. With a faint ringing, it clattered to the ground at his feet. 

"Dead to me," I shouted one last time, my voice fading to a whisper. And then went limp against the guards. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. That hurt me to write lmao. Hope y'all are enjoying!


	8. Stealing Fire

Miller, Harper, and I stood in one of our meeting rooms, tense, trying to think of what to do next. At least, I was. No way in hell was I going to let Pike kill my father. I paced around the room, biting at my nails, my mind buzzing with half-assed plans and feeble ideas. 

"Will you stop pacing?" Miller grunted after a while. "It's not going to help your dad." 

I shot him a glare and halted my pacing. "Shut up, Nate. It's not your dad whose life is on the line here." 

Silence. Harper and Miller exchanged a woeful glance. Both of them pulled me into a hug, and while part of me wanted to fight it, I didn't. Now was not the time to antagonize the only friends I had left. Everyone else was on Pike's side, outside the camp, or high on whatever pills Jaha was handing out. 

A knock on the door pulled us from our group hug. We exchanged a wary glance, and then Miller went to open the door. The knife in my boot was painfully cold against my skin, and I bent down a little, ready to grab it a moment's notice. Over Miller's shoulder, I caught a glimpse of Bellamy's face, and I grit my teeth. 

"What do you want?" Miller said, his voice sotto. 

Bellamy held a finger up to his lips, and cocked his head. Slowly, Miller opened the door. Monty and Bellamy entered the room. 

I scowled. "What do you-" 

Bellamy shushed me, and I glared, but obeyed. From his utility belt, he pulled a knife and stepped towards Miller. Instinctively, I pulled my own weapon from my boot, as Miller went for his gun. 

"Hey." Bellamy held his his free hand out, and stepped closer to Miller. He grabbed his jacket, but Miller outstretched his arm, pushing Bellamy back. "It's okay." 

I watched, eyes narrowed, as Bellamy cut away the patch on Miller's jacket, and then handed the knife to him. Bellamy rooted around inside Miller's jacket and pulled out a bug. I pursed my lips and returned my weapon to my boot. Monty took the bug and wrapped it in some material I didn't recognize. 

"The bag blocks the signal," Monty explained. "Now we can talk." 

"Who put it in there?" Miller challenged, pointing at his jacket. 

Bellamy countered, "That's not important right now. Pike just sentenced Lincoln and Sinclair to death alongside Kane." 

Now I itched for my knife again. But perhaps it was good I had sheathed it, because had it still been in my hand when he spoke, it might have ended up through his shoulder. I wanted to scream at him instead, but I was so rigid with anger I couldn't move. All I could do was shoot him a fiery glare. 

Harper scoffed. "Are you trying to scare us?" 

"No!" Monty reassured us. "We're here to help. I'm sure you have a plan to break them out. What can we do?" 

Keeping my voice as gruff and flat as possible, I said, "What are you talking about?" 

Monty furrowed his eyebrows. "Y/n, come on." 

"Look, we can help from the inside to pull this off," Bellamy offered, and I curled my hands into fists. After everything he'd done, what made him think we believed he would help? Several times we'd put out an olive branch, coaxed him to take the right side. But every time he showed his true colors. I didn't see how this was any different. "We need people to hand them off to on the outside." 

Miller stepped in front of me. I wasn't sure whether it was to keep me from attacking Bellamy or to protect me from him, but either way I was grateful. And I took a poisonous victory in the hurt flashing in Bellamy's eyes. "We seriously don't know what you're talking about." 

Monty threw his hands up. "You think we want them to die?" 

Bellamy shook his head, and met my gaze. I threw nothing but loathing at him. "You know what, forget it. If my sister wants to save Lincoln's life, tell her to meet me at the dropship in an hour." 

And then he was gone. 

"Bellamy!" Monty called after him. When it was clear he was done with us, Monty turned back, pleading in his eyes. "After everything we've been through, you don't trust me?" 

I sneered. "Does your mom know you're here, Monty?"

With that, Monty rolled his eyes over Miller and Harper, neither of who would meet his gaze, and then he stormed out.

I headed for the door. "Thanks guys. I have to meet Octavia soon. Plan's about to set into motion. Don't get caught." 

Miller smirked and rolled his eyes. "Stay out of trouble." 

I flashed him a smile. "What, me? Trouble? Never."

Then I slipped out the door. 

* * *

"Package is on the move," Harper whispered, her voice crackling through my radio. "I repeat, package is on the move. We are a go. Okay, K. Is your team in position?" 

Talking about me. "Roger that. We're in position and ready to intercept." 

Octavia and I lied in wait as Pike led Sinclair, Lincoln, and my dad in cuffs through the halls of Arkadia. Both of us were rigid. How could we not be? We were both risking our lives to save men we cared about. But it was better to die a warrior's death than to sit in complacency and let Pike kill them. 

Vaguely, I heard voices from down the hall, and then they stopped. I strained to hear what was happening, and my stomach twisted with nervousness as I just barely picked up on Monty's mom relay information to Pike. 

"Sir, you were right. Kane's kid is here, and she's not alone."

_Goddamnit, Monty._

Pike shouted, "On their knees!" Then into the walkie, he asked, "Can you confirm a location?" 

"Negative," Hannah replied. 

Bryan interjected, "Sir, we can assume her friends have already told her where we're taking them. We shouldn't go any further 'till we know the route's secure." 

I exchanged a glance with Octavia and smiled. Miller had gotten him on our side. Thank God for that. More the merrier. 

"Put 'em in there," Pike shouted, gesturing to a room where we were waiting. Even though we were under the floor, I still pressed myself into the shadows. "Come on, let's go! I want two men on the door. Anyone comes out of there, shoot to kill. Anyone enters the corridor, one warning then shoot to kill. Everyone else, on me." 

As soon as there was silence above and I was sure that Pike had gone, I pushed aside the loose floorboard. I popped my head up and smiled at their shocked faces. 

"Guys, quick!" I hissed, saving the reuniting for later. "Bryan will take out the other guard outside, but for now we gotta hide. C'mon!" 

Without any questions, they hopped down into the space, and I pulled the floorboard back over our heads. Darkness fell. Heat rose in the small space, and I was pressed up against Octavia with no room to shift. After a while, my legs started to cramp and I prayed Pike would come back and sweep this room quickly. 

Sure enough, pounding footsteps echoed from down the hall. 

"Check them, and call medical," Pike ordered, and I could only assume he was talking about Bryan and the other guard stationed at the door. 

And then the footsteps were on top of us. I closed my eyes and prayed that the floor didn't collapse in on us, that Pike didn't inexplicably find out where we were hiding. I flinched when Pike kicked a box and it screeched across the floor. But it had worked. So far. Pike had no idea we were under the floor. 

"Damn!" He exclaimed. 

"The guys are alive sir," one guard informed Pike. "Probably drugged them." 

"We did what they wanted us to do," Pike growled as they all stomped out of the room. "That won't happen again." 

When finally there was silence, I pushed aside the floorboard and hopped out. Everyone streamed out behind me. Octavia popped up last, spilling two guns onto the floor. 

"It's a little bit tight in there," Dad grunted. 

Octavia snorted and went to work unlocking his cuffs while I started on Sinclair. "Try doing it for sixteen years." 

I pursed my lips and looked away. Guess she was still bitter about that. I supposed I would be too. Once Sinclair had one hand free and could finish freeing himself, I leaped to my feet and hugged my dad. 

"I was so scared I lost you," I cried, squeezing him tight. 

Gently, he wrapped his arms around me. "I told you not to do this."

"Why would I start listening to you now?" I scoffed, releasing him and turning to the door where Miller and Bryan were waiting. I tossed both of them the guns we'd stolen. "Come on!" 

Abby arrived just then, and shared a pained glance with my father. I bit back a smile. At least my dad got to have love. 

"Okay, K, come in," Harper's sotto voice came through the radio.

"What is it?"Lincoln asked.  

"This wasn't the plan," I hissed. "We used their frequencies so they could hear us." Then into the radio, I responded, "Go ahead." 

"Stay where you are," Harper whispered. "Repeat, stay where you are. The exit is not clear."

I exchanged nervous glances with everyone else. "How many guards?"

"Too many. I said stay put!" Harper argued.

My heart hammered in my chest. Shit. If we couldn't get to the exit then I couldn't save them. Or myself. Or any of us in the room right now. We'd all be executed for treason. 

Then we were saved, and my heart soared when I realized it was Monty distracting the guards. Sure he might have been listening in, but at least he was finally choosing the right side. To help us. More than I could say for some people. "Calling all guards! The prisoners are headed for the main gate! Over." 

I laughed in relief. "That was Monty." 

"Guess he's with us after all," Miller remarked. 

"We don't know that," Octavia said. "What we do know is we have to move. Let's go." 

I nodded, and we all filed out of the room, Octavia leading the way and Miller bringing up the rear. Adrenaline pounded in my veins as we headed for the hidden ventilation shaft that would be our means of escape. Harper was waiting for us, packs stashed inside the tunnel. She opened the door and Sinclair hopped in first, followed quickly by Miller and Bryan. 

Over the PA, a voice informed us that an emergency lock-down was in effect. Perfectly fine. Not even that could stop us now. I climbed into the shaft, and heard Dad tell Abby to go next, but she refused. I glanced over my shoulder and saw them kiss. I raised my eyebrows, but smiled. 

"About damn time," I muttered under my breath.

Pike's voice crackled through the radio attached to my belt. I clambered back out of the shaft, holding up the radio to Octavia and Lincoln. 

"I have a message for the traitors in this camp," he said. "There will be an execution today. Either turn yourselves in, or the other Grounder prisoners will die in your place."

My stomach dropped. They didn't deserve that. But no way in hell was I going to let my father trade his life for theirs. Maybe it was selfish, but I didn't care. Octavia had the same indignant look on her face. She wasn't going to give up Lincoln either. 

"Let's go," she barked, pushing Lincoln towards the exit. Instead, he headed back for Pike. Octavia grabbed his arm. "No, wait!" 

He sighed. "I can't let them die because of me." 

"Lincoln, please," she begged. "We're almost out." 

Dad added, "I know what you're feeling, but they're searching the station. We need to go, now." 

Lincoln nodded. "You should." 

"Fine," Octavia said. "I'm going with you.  _Osis rodoun ogeda_." 

We fight together. 

Lincoln stepped towards her, and put his hand on her head. "I love you." 

Then he kissed her.

I felt a pang of misery strike my chest. But I forced it away. Now was not the time to feel miserable about a broken heart. Bellamy had made his choice as I had made mine.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Lincoln reach for the reaper stick in her belt. Before I could warn her, Lincoln injected the clear substance into her veins, and she went limp. Lincoln handed her unconscious body to my father. I stared at Lincoln, dread coursing through me, trying to hold back tears. I knew this would be the last I saw of him. 

"What are you doing?" Dad demanded. 

"The same thing you'd do for your people," Lincoln replied, his voice resigned and hollow, and yet full of more courage than I'd ever heard before. He would sacrifice himself for his people. "Just get her out of here." 

"Ste yuj," I murmured to Lincoln as he stepped away.  _Stay strong_. 

Lincoln nodded. "You too." 

And then he left. I sighed and hopped into the vent, followed closely by my dad. We didn't talk until we came out the other end, and even then there wasn't much to say. Everyone saw Lincoln wasn't with us. 

Solemnly, Dad put Octavia on top of a horse, and led it away. In the distance, a horn blew. I had no idea what it meant, but shivers crawled up my spine. I doubted it was anything good. 

When we were up the hill, far enough away from the camp that no one would follow us, Octavia began to awaken. The first thing to come out of her mouth was Lincoln's name. Even though she was still mostly under the effects of the drug, Octavia clambered off the horse and crawled through the brush to see what was happening. 

I followed after her, intending to make sure she didn't do anything stupid and get her or the rest of us killed. But I stopped in my tracks by her side as I saw Lincoln on his knees in the mud. Such a dishonorable end for a warrior like him. 

I put a hand on Octavia's arm, but it was like I wasn't even there. Her face was twisted in an emotional agony, tears streaming down her face. A few tears of my own welled in my eyes and rolled down my face. 

Pike raised a gun to Lincoln's head. 

A gunshot echoed across the land, reverberating in my skull, silencing every other sound in existence. Every sound, save for the gasp of shocked sorrow that escaped my lips, and the heart-wrenching sobs that wracked Octavia's being. 

Another friend, gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this episode lmao watching Lincoln die hurts sooo much especially after having to watch Lexa die too like damn calm down. Anyways, more to come!


	9. Fallen

Grief and anger followed us in a heavy cloud as Octavia lead the way to a cave that would act as our hideout. Every step I took, the gunshot replayed over in my mind. Immediately, the life disappeared from Lincoln's eyes. Hollow sorrow filled my core, and I squeezed my eyes shut. If I was having this hard of a time, I could only imagine what Octavia was feeling. 

Miller and Harper were the first to enter the cave, and I followed right behind them. My eyes fell upon Bellamy, who stood, staring at us with a painful relief in his eyes. Gaze straying to the manacles around his wrists, I almost didn't care. Part of me truly believed he deserved this. All of it. Especially after Lincoln died. 

But the rest of me, most of me, the parts that were still madly in love with him, ached at the sight. I tried to drown all that away. I turned away from him, and dropped my gear beside Harper's. I couldn't look at him. 

"Where's Lincoln?" Bellamy asked, and my heart plummeted. I leaned against the wall, clutching at my stomach. Dead. Another friend, dead. If Bellamy had just chosen the right side from the start none of this would have happened. 

Octavia gripped tight to her sword, and I feared she'd run him straight through, but she just dropped it to the ground. When she spoke, her voice was taut with anger and sorrow, and yet completely flat, and empty. "Pike put a bullet in his brain." 

Bellamy's face fell. "O. O, I am so sorry-" 

Octavia whirled around and punched him in the face. And then again. And again. Every time her fist connected with his face, my stomach churned a little more. I knew that just the night before, I had screamed at him, wanted to do anything to hurt him. I felt the same rage Octavia was experiencing now. She had every right to be pissed at him. But I couldn't stand the sound of it. Despite everything, I loved him. 

"That's enough, Octavia," Dad said. 

"Kane, stay out of this," Bellamy panted. 

Now I couldn't tear my eyes away. I stared, hands curled into fists in my pockets, as I watched Octavia strike him over and over. I wanted to cry, but I was just horrified. At the blood on his face, at the fact that I didn't want to step in. 

I glanced over at Miller, and he seemed to sense the pleading in my eyes. I couldn't stop her myself, but I didn't want her to kill him. 

"Okay, okay, that's enough," Miller said, wrapping his arms around Octavia and pulling her away from her brother. Octavia sobbed and pushed him away. 

Bellamy held his hands out. "Miller, back off." 

I looked up at the ceiling as Octavia screamed and threw another punch at him. Bellamy didn't want anyone to stop this. He thought he deserved it. Maybe he did. But I hated that he was going to torture himself over this forever. 

One more powerful punch sent Bellamy reeling to the floor. Octavia snarled, "You're dead to me." 

Even though it wasn't directed at me, I still flinched. I'd said the same thing. Guilt washed over me, but only for the briefest second. We still weren't sure Bellamy was on our side at all. He was just taking the beating because his sister was mad at him. 

* * *

I held out my hands closer to the fire we'd built, letting the sparking flames warm my cold fingers. We were all crowded around the heat, except for Bellamy, who was still chained to the wall. I found myself looking away from the flames every now and then to meet his eyes, but I'd quickly look away. Every time I caught a glimpse of his bloodied face, my stomach roiled. I hated that the sight of his face sickened me when I once thought he held all the stars in his eyes. 

"I say we run two man patrols around the clock starting now," Bryan suggested. 

Dad nodded. "We'll do that, but we should be safe here. The Grounder blockade's too close for Pike to risk looking at us." 

I picked up a twig and broke it into as many pieces as I could before tossing the wood into the fire. I did that until my small pile ran out, and I had nothing for my hands to focus on. 

"Yeah, but are we safe from the blockade?" Bryan asked. 

I rolled my eyes. "As long as we stay on this side of the line, yes." 

Bryan shook his head. "They're Grounders. You really think they're gonna play by the rules?"

"Hey, Pike will want you dead now too," Miller said. "We take him out, we can go home."

Harper added, "We take him out, the Grounders lift the blockade." 

"That's right," Dad said. 

I picked up a bunch of stray leaves and tossed them into the flames. Sparks flew as they crackled to ash. "We become the thirteenth clan again. Those were the terms." 

In the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Bellamy shaking his head in disbelief. I stiffened. 

"Lexa's terms," Sinclair noted. "If what Bellamy says is true and she's dead, how do we know the next Commander will honor them?" 

"One problem at a time," Dad said softly. 

"What about Clarke?" Miller asked. "With Lexa gone, she's not safe at Polis."

Octavia stabbed her sword she'd been sharpening into the dirt. "Clarke made her choice. The only thing that matters now is killing Pike.

I nodded. "Octavia's right. Once we resume our place in the Commander's coalition, Clarke will be safe. So, how do we do it?" 

"Bellamy, come in," Monty's voice crackled through Bellamy's radio. We all snapped our heads in his direction. "It's Monty. I'm in trouble. Please say you still have your radio." 

Sinclair grabbed the radio to hand to hand to my dad, but was rather apprehensive about it. "If we respond, and Pike's listening-"

"We go to channel seven," Bellamy interrupted. "'Please say you still have your radio.' That's seven words after the word trouble. It's code. Go to seven." 

I narrowed my eyes at him, but didn't say anything. Sinclair shrugged and handed the radio to Dad who changed the channel to seven. 

"Bellamy you there?" Monty said, fear hinting his voice. Maybe he was telling the truth about being in danger. Gut feelings of mine were generally right. 

Dad pressed the talk button. "Monty, it's Kane. What's wrong?" 

"Pike knows I helped you get out," Monty breathed. I closed my eyes and bowed my head. Shit. 

"Can you get to the dropship?" 

Monty replied, "I think so." 

"Good. Go there," Dad ordered. "I'll bring you in. Stay off the radio. Over and out."

Harper shook her head after the radio went silent. "Hold on, what if it's a trap and Pike's waiting?" 

Dad replied, "That's why I'm going alone." 

I got to my feet at the same time as Octavia. "Yeah, like hell you are." 

"I'm with them," Miller agreed. "Monty saved our lives." 

"I'm going too," Bryan said. 

Dad huffed. "No, you're not. If it is a trap, I'm not marching our entire insurgency into it." 

"To stop me, you're gonna have to kill me," Octavia grunted, throwing on a fur coat. 

I crossed my arms and raised my chin. Dad knew me well enough to know that I wasn't going to back down. "Same for me." 

"She hopes it's a trap," Bellamy said. I glared at him. 

Octavia threw him a disgusted, loathing glare, filled with more cold hatred than I ever could have mustered. "He's coming too. We'll need a hostage to trade for Monty."

For a moment, my mouth didn't work. I hated the idea of dragging him along like a captive, like I hadn't share some of my most intimate moments with him, but the infuriating look in his eyes made it seem okay. If he was going to be a dick about all of this then maybe he was lost to Pike and using him as a hostage would be okay. 

"That's a good plan," I said, staring directly at Bellamy, only half aware of the words passing my lips. His gaze hardened, only reinforcing my distaste for him now. 

Dad nodded hesitantly. "He stays chained, gag him." 

Miller stepped in. "Sir, with all due respect-" 

"He's the enemy!" I snapped, before my father could even open his mouth. "Do what he said." 

Bellamy shook his head and rolled his eyes at me. Everything had come full circle. Back to hating each other. 

* * *

When we finally reached the dropship, the relief I felt was undeniable. Soon, we could hand off Bellamy and I wouldn't have to see him like this anymore. On the outside, all anyone saw was the same cold rage for him that Octavia wore, but on the inside I was breaking apart. Everything about this sucked. Seeing Bellamy tied up, associating him as my enemy. Being at constant war with myself whether I should love or hate him. Practically tearing myself apart. 

As we stepped through the gate in the wall that we'd all built together months ago, I drew my bow and nocked an arrow. Dad kept his gun at Bellamy's head while Octavia brandished her sword. 

"Monty?" I called out, keeping my eyes trained on the tarpaulin covering the entrance to the dropship. 

No response. 

Dad murmured, "We got here first."

"No we didn't," Octavia hissed, taking Bellamy from my Dad, and putting a sword to his throat. My heart beat against my chest so hard I feared it would break my ribs. In her state, she might actually kill him and despite how mad I was, I couldn't watch that happen. "Get outside! Now!" 

The tarpaulin swayed to the side as Monty's stepped through. At first I was relieved, but then the fear in his eyes and the bindings around his wrists made my stomach sink. I raised my bow a little higher and drew the string taut, ready to fire at a moment's notice. I almost let my arrow fly when Pike stepped through, but his finger rested on the trigger of a gun pointed at Monty and I couldn't risk it. 

"They followed me," Monty said. "I'm sorry." 

"Let him go, Pike!" I growled. 

He replied brusquely, "Can't do that." And then into the radio he muttered, "One at their feet." 

A few inches away from me, a bullet struck the ground. Startled, I jumped and let my arrow fly. It sank deep into the trunk of a tree too far away to retrieve. Without hesitation, I pulled another from my quiver and nocked it. 

"It's over," Pike said. "Put down your weapons." 

"Shoot him!" Octavia shouted. 

"I can't!" Dad and I exclaimed at the same time, unsure of who she had been speaking to. 

"Monty's in the shot!" Dad explained.

"Come on, Kane," Pike grunted, glaring at both of us. Another bullet struck the ground, this time so close to my feet I swore it tore a hole in my pant leg. Might have just been my imagination. I couldn't tell. 

"I promised Monty's mother I'd bring him home alive," Pike drawled. "Don't make me a liar." 

Beside me, Dad put his gun down and dropped it to the ground. 

"Dad, no!" I hissed. But he was right. There wasn't anything we could do. With a grunt of furious resignation, I dropped my bow to the ground and unhooked my quiver. I could lose my bow if it meant saving Monty's life. 

When it became clear that Octavia wasn't going to release Bellamy, Pike muttered to put one in her leg. Almost immediately, Bellamy reacted, reaching up and grabbing her wrist, twisting the sword from her grip, and bent her over, holding her arm in a steel grip so she couldn't move. 

Pike whistled, and from the bushes several of Pike's people emerged pointing guns at us. Slowly, I raised my hands. But when one came at me, I kicked the handgun out of their hands and punched them in the face. Another came from behind me and grabbed my arms, but I broke free, whirled around and punched them too, though they were less fazed by it. Instead of shooting me, they brought the base of the gun down on my shoulder. With a groan I crumpled to the ground. 

"Now you don't look so good," Pike said to Bellamy. 

One of the men yanked me to my feet, and my head spun. 

He grunted, "I'm fine." 

"You got about five seconds to make me believe you're still with me," Pike demanded. 

Bellamy glanced over at me, and my eyes widened. He wouldn't. 

"All the others are in a cave not far from here," he said. 

I broke free of my captor's hold and lunged at him, burning with rage. "You son of a bitch!" 

He just killed all my friends. 

One of the guards flicked out a shock baton in front of me before I could reach Bellamy. Electricity struck my middle and crackled through my veins more powerful than any other time. Volts must have been much higher. Gasping in pain, I fell to the ground, and blinked a tear away. The same man grabbed my wrists while I was incapacitated and roughly tied them together in front of me.

Vaguely, I heard Pike say, "Give me the coordinates."

"I don't have the coordinates," Bellamy replied. "But I can take you there."

Before I could scream at him again, the guard gagged me, silencing my voice. So I just shot him a glare, and let the guard drag me to my feet again, and lead us away. 

Silence accompanied us as Bellamy took the head of the group. On all sides, soldiers surrounded us, giving me no chance to run. Nor my father or Octavia or Monty, all who were tied up like me. Seething, it took everything in me not to risk the bullet in my head to beat the hell of out of Bellamy. Sentencing my father to death was one thing, but adding all of my friends on top of that? Sickening. 

"You're sure about the route?" Pike asked after a while of tireless trekking through the forest. "We're getting close to the blockade line."

Which was true. In fact, now that he'd brought it up, I wasn't so sure about our surroundings. What was going on?

"That's why Kane set up out here. Didn't think we'd risk it," Bellamy explained. 

I exchanged a glance with my Dad. Something was right about this. Bellamy was planning something. And the fact that I didn't know what made my stomach twist with nausea. 

"Well, he was wrong," Pike grunted. I rolled my eyes. 

"What's gonna happen to my sister?" Bellamy asked, his voice soft. "I know she has to answer for her crimes, but..." 

Pike sighed. "I'll tell you what. I'll make you the same promise I made to Monty's mother. Immunity for all past actions for your sister, but if she screws up again-" 

"Oh, she won't," Bellamy promised. "I'll make sure of it. And, uh, what about Y/n?" 

My eyes snapped up. Why did he care? 

Pike turned back at me, and I hardened my gaze. "Nothing I can do about that one. She'll be put to death beside her father. Too many times the Kanes have defied me, her especially." 

Dad grunted in disapproval, but it was nothing compared to the rigidity of Bellamy's shoulders. Skies tell me he didn't still care about me. If he had he would have listened to me a long time ago. 

Once again, silence hung over us. I turned my gaze to the dirt, keeping my attention focused on anything else but Bellamy, but the fact that I was going to die today. And so would all my insurgent friends. 

"Hold on," Pike said, stopping his tracks after a while of walking. 

"The cave's just on the other side," Bellamy said, gesturing over a shallow ravine. My breathing hitched for a moment. No it wasn't. He was lying. Why? 

"Keep a sharp eye out," Pike commanded as he followed Bellamy down the hill. Hesitantly, I started walking again. We were dangerously close to the blockade line. 

Horns blared as soon as we stepped foot at the bottom of the small hill. Wildly, I looked around for Grounders in the trees. 

"The blockade!" Pike shouted. "Anybody got eyes?" 

"I got nothing," someone responded. 

"Back to higher ground!" Pike ordered and started to make his way back up the hill, but Bellamy grabbed a handgun from Pike's belt and aimed it at his head. 

"Drop your weapon!" He yelled. Even though I was absolutely pissed at Bellamy, I couldn't help the slight flutter of my heart. His plan had been to turn Pike over to the Grounders. I guess he wasn't completely lost after all. 

Pike shouted, "What the hell are you doing?" 

I took the chance to ram both of my fists into the gut of the guard standing nearest to me, and pull the gun from his grip. My friends did the same, but the others raised their guns and we stopped fighting. 

"We bring you Chancellor Pike of the Sky People!" Bellamy shouted. "O, translate!" 

Octavia ripped her gag out and screamed back the words in Trigedasleng. 

"You've killed us all," Pike growled. 

"Take him, lift this blockade," Bellamy responded, which Octavia translated. 

Arrows hailed from the trees, embedding into the chests of the guards. Instinctively, I flinched, half expecting an arrow to strike me down as well. Thankfully, that didn't happen. Grounders poured out from every height of the trees around us, and raced towards our small group. 

Octavia grabbed a dagger from the belt of one of the fallen men and raised it above her head, going straight for Pike. Dad stepped in front of her holding her back. 

"No!" He yelled. "Hey, no! The Grounders are going to need him alive. They didn't get justice for Finn. We won't get away with that again."

Slowly, Octavia lowered the dagger, though she clearly didn't want to. 

"In that case," Pike said, turning around to strike Bellamy. Panic exploded in my chest, but it was needless. An arrow found itself plunged through his shoulder and he fell to the ground. Another grounder kicked him in the face and he went unconscious. 

"Where are you taking him?" Dad asked. 

"To the new Commander," responded the same Grounder that had kicked Pike. 

"May I join you?" Dad extended his arm, and rolled up his sleeve, revealing the seal that marked us as one of them. "We're the thirteenth clan. 

I furrowed my eyebrows and pulled my gag out. "Dad, no."

"Don't slow us down," the Grounder said and turned away, grabbing Pike. 

"Are you sure?" Monty warned. "We know nothing about the new Commander."

"I'm sure. Go home," Dad replied. "Tell our people what happened here. Tell Abby I'll look out for Clarke."

Dad turned back to me, apology in his eyes. "Sorry, kid. I gotta go with them." 

"I know." I pulled my knife from inside my boot and flipped it up, using it to cut away my bonds. Then I enveloped my father in a bear hug. "Just, be safe, okay? I didn't save you just to lose you." 

He kissed the top of my head. "As long as you are safe too. I love you." 

"Love you too." 

And then he was gone. 

Curious, but also still coursing with anger, I stepped to Bellamy and stared him in the eyes. Myriads of emotions swamped them, and I couldn't make any sense of it. "Did you do this for your sister? Or because it was the right thing to do?" 

"You're welcome," Bellamy responded, voice gruff and flat. 

I grabbed his arm as he started to turn away. My words were sharp and my voice lined with anger. "Hey. It matters. Until you see that, you'll still be lost." 

Both of us remained silent, staring deep into each others eyes for what seemed forever. The longer I stared, the more the rest of the world melted away. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. His gaze softened. It was like the first day I admitted I was in love with him. 

I released his arm and turned away. I couldn't do this again, not until he understood the magnitude of his actions. 

I headed for Monty, and put a comforting, grateful hand on his shoulder. 

"My mom turned me in," he whispered, staring at the ground. There was nothing I could say to that. 

"You're family," Bellamy said, taking over the response for me. "You'll work it out." 

I knew he was really talking about him and Octavia. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw the desperate, painful longing in his eyes. Just as my family had been broken before I ever landed on the ground, his was now the same. Worse, even. I pitied him. 

One of the men the Grounders had shot down gasped awake, and without a second more to spare, Octavia leaped at him and plunged her dagger through his chest. Rage burning in her eyes, she turned to her brother. "Jus drain jus daun." 

_Blood must have blood._

I sighed. I felt her anger, but I was tired of it. I knew someday I might work it out, but I feared she never would. And while I was always going to be her friend, I feared she would do something she'd regret. Killing Bellamy. Then, I feared I would seek to avenge him. 

Because the truth was, I still loved him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was absolutely plowed by nyquil when I started this and having out of body experiences on dayquil when I finished so sorry if it's not the best chapter lmao I don't remember writing half of it. Love being sick


	10. Nevermore

Back in the cave, I found myself content with just lying on the dirty ground my arms outstretched, close enough to the flames of our bonfire that I could touch the burning wood with one shift of my hand. I enjoyed the scorching heat. Not only did it actually warm my body, but it distracted me from everything else going on. And I didn't have to look at anyone either. Just the stone ceiling. Or the flames. Everything could be so simple. 

But it wasn't. Nothing was down here. 

"I don't understand it either," Monty sighed. "Something about those chips." 

"We'll know soon enough," Sinclair responded. "Be ready." 

Next to me, Octavia stomped to her feet and started shoving her coat and weapons into her pack. I lifted my head to watch her for a moment, and then rested it back on the ground. Who was I to stop her from running away? Half of me wanted to do that myself. Then I wouldn't have to deal with any of this. The only thing that kept me here was the fact that I didn't want to be seen as a coward. And I didn't want to wander this infernal planet alone, without my friends. 

"O, wait," Bellamy said. "You can't just leave!" 

"Watch me," she grunted. 

Bellamy argued, "You heard what Jasper said on that radio. Arkadia is not safe." 

Octavia scoffed. "What Jasper said sounds insane." 

Which I agreed with, and yet I believed him. I hadn't seen much of what Jaha was doing, but those who took the chips always seemed...off. I thought they were just high as fuck. Maybe there was something more sinister to it. 

"Pike's gone," Octavia continued, pulling her back over her shoulders. "I can handle myself. Grounders burn their dead." 

"I know that," Bellamy huffed. "And then what. Where are you gonna go?"

"You don't get to ask me that!" She barked. 

Bellamy sighed. "What more do I have to do to prove that I am on your side?" 

Octavia narrowed her eyes and tensed. "Bring Lincoln back."

Silence fell. I closed my eyes, trying to block out this conversation. I just wanted to lay here in peace, but I knew that was far fetched. There was too much at stake, too much tension. 

Halfway out the cave, Octavia turned around. "Turning Pike in doesn't make you one of the good guys, Bellamy. You did that to save me. Not because what you thought Pike was doing to the Grounders was wrong." 

Bellamy shook his head and crossed his arms. "The Grounders were starving us out!" 

"Because you massacred an army that was sent to protect us!" 

"That army could have attacked us at any moment and you know it," Bellamy said. 

"But they didn't attack," Octavia said, her voice challenging, her words tough and sharp. "You did that. You were hurting and you lashed out because that's what you do. There are consequences, Bel. People get hurt. People die. Your people. Monroe's dead. Lincoln is dead." 

I sighed and stared into the flames as silence hung over the cave. Only Octavia's receding footsteps filled the quiet. And then Bellamy's heavy steps following after her. Not but a second later, the undeniable sound of an engine roared outside the cave. 

"They're here!" Miller yelled. 

I shot up to my feet, brushing dirt from my hair and back. Without hesitation, I raced outside the cave and found myself face to face with Clarke. I smiled at her. 

"We need help!" Jasper cried, and I snapped my head in his direction. In his arms he carried a limp Raven. My heart dropped. What the hell happened? "We have to get her inside before she wakes up!" 

"Were you followed?" Bellamy called back. 

"Maybe. I don't know," Jasper said handing Raven off to him. "

"Get to the ridge," Miller ordered his boyfriend. "Radio if you spot anyone. Harper will stay here and keep watch!" 

I stepped aside as they all entered the cave.

"Octavia, come on," Clarke called. "We need you!" 

Reluctantly, she turned around and followed them into the cave. I offered her a small, tired smile thankful that she wasn't leaving. I wasn't sure if she returned it, but I guess it didn't matter. Raven was the biggest priority right now. 

I dashed to Raven's side by the fire, and put a hand on her forehead. "She's burning up. What the hell happened to her?" 

"I told you on the radio," Jasper snapped. "Raven isn't Raven anymore. None of them are. Jaha has been chipping everyone." 

"Jasper's right," Clarke added, her voice shaking. "I've seen it with my own eyes!" 

"I don't need your help, all right?!" Jasper shouted. I cast my gaze back down to Raven. Seemed Jasper was never going to forgive Clarke for killing Maya. Understandable.

Bellamy stepped in front of Jasper and put a hand on his chest. "Just take it easy and explain."

Jasper swallowed and calmed down. "Jaha is using the chips to control everyone. You swallow it and it changes you. You forget who you are, and then you see this thing. Alie. Only, she's not really there. She made Raven slit her own wrists. She was trying to get her out of her head. I was trying to help her but..."

I bit my lip and strayed my gaze to her arms where bloodied bandages wrapped around her wrists. Gently, I stroked her hair. Raven had been through way too much pain. It was infinitely more than she deserved. I wished I could take all her suffering away. But she was strong, and I knew she was a fighter. Raven would be just fine. I hoped. 

"Okay, so let's help her now," I said, harsher than I meant. This thing, this Alie, was not going to take Raven from me. I wasn't going to let any of my other friends die. Lincoln was the last. "Did she say how?" 

Jasper nodded. "She was working on building something. She needed one of the old wristbands, but Jaha destroyed all of them."

"Wait a second," Clarke exclaimed, pulling a small clear silicone pill from a box tucked into her pocket that look eerily similar to the ones Jaha had been handing out. "Does it look like this?" 

"Not exactly," Jasper said. It looked more...advanced. 

Beneath my hand, Raven stirred. She flicked her eyes to the chip in Clarke's hand and then over to me. Before I could react, she threw a punch at my jaw. I fell over, and tried to grab her ankle as she scrambled to her feet, but my fingers slipped. Ignoring the dull pain in my face, I got up and chased after her out of the cave. 

"Hey! It's just woods! I can't see anything!" Raven screamed to the air. 

I tackled her, fighting to bring her back into the cave, but she was twice as strong than I thought. Maybe that was Alie's work. Even with Bellamy and Miller's help she still managed to break her arm free from me and kick me in the shin. I yelped in pain and stumbled, but didn't let it bother me. 

"If Raven finds out where we are, so will Alie!" Jasper warned. "She'll come for her!" 

Searching the ground for anything I could use to knock her out, I came upon a thick branch. I hated to hurt her, but she'd get us all killed if she saw anything. When I turned around, branch raised, I found Raven already unconscious. 

"Reaper stick," Jasper explained, tossing the stick to the ground. Same thing Lincoln had used to knock out Octavia before he turned himself in for execution. "Last dose." 

"We have to go," Clarke said. 

"Why?" Bellamy asked. "Alie doesn't know where we are."

"Because I know where we can get a wristband."

Of course she did. Thank God for her extensive knowledge of the people here, and for her travels while she'd been the sought after Wanheda. Makes everything a little bit easier here. I could do with a little more easy solutions. 

We loaded into the rover, Monty at the wheel and Sinclair riding shotgun. I ended up pressed rather close against Bellamy in the tight quarters, and tried to ignore the fact that our hands were touching. Keeping my eyes on Raven was the only distraction I could manage to keep from looking at Bellamy and kissing him. It was not the right time. I wasn't sure there would ever be a right time again. 

Finally, we reached the familiar trading post I'd been in not so long ago. I jumped out the back, taking Raven in my arms. Even though my arms shook under her weight, I forced myself to push through it. She was one of my best friends and I wanted to be the one to hold her. I didn't need Bellamy's help. Or anyone else's. 

Clarke stepped forwards, taking the head of our group while the rest of us hung back by the rover. The woman didn't seem very happy to see us. I hoped Clarke worked some of her magic and made this work out. 

"Skaikru is not welcome here, Wanheda," the woman growled as Clarke stepped forwards. 

"Niylah, what's wrong?" 

In my arms, Raven stirred. Panic exploded in my chest and I took a few nervous steps toward the shelter. "She's waking up! Hurry! Let's get her inside!" 

"Is your father here?" Clarke asked. 

Niylah spat, "My father's dead. Part of an army killed by your people while trying to protect you." 

I glanced over at Bellamy who remained stoic, if not stiff as a board. I couldn't tell what was going through his mind. Regret, I hoped. Guilt. Anything of the like. Only his gaze cast downwards, which gave me hope that he felt remorse. 

"Niylah, please!" Clarke begged. 

"I said no!" 

"We haven't got time for this," Bellamy huffed, pointing his gun at her. "Move." 

I sighed, but didn't say anything about it. All I was focused on was carrying Raven through the door. "Where should I put her down?" 

Clarke pointed me towards a bedroom in the back. "Put her in the back. On the bed!" 

I raced towards the very pack of the trading post where there was a quaint bedroom. Gently, I set her down on the bed, just as she started thrashing. Raven pulled her blindfold off, her eyes wild, frantically searching her surroundings.

"Where the hell am I?" She screamed, struggling against our holds.

Clarke burst into the room, tossing Jasper some rope. It took every single one of us to hold her down and tie her arms to the post of the bed and her legs to the other end. Sweating, I finally stepped away, sure she couldn't escape. But that didn't stop her inhuman screams and growls from grating against my ears. My stomach churned. Jasper was right. This wasn't the Raven I knew. 

I sighed and stepped out of the room. Immediately, my eyes met Bellamy's who was still standing there with a gun pointed at Niylah. I pulled my eyes away and stepped aside to allow everyone else out of the bedroom. 

"How the hell do we get that thing out of her head?" I whispered, tired and dejected. Raven was a fighter, but that wasn't Raven in there. And I wasn't sure she could get out of this alone. 

"Working on it," Monty replied. 

Clarke stepped past me and relieved Bellamy of his post, to talk to Niylah. I leaned against the wall, my arms crossed, and tried not to look at him as he stopped in front of me. 

"Hey," he said. 

I forced myself to look at him. "Hey." 

"How are you?" He ventured, his voice soft. 

I rolled my eyes. "Skip the small talk. What do you want?" 

"Just to talk. I really just want to make sure you're okay." 

My words were sharper than I meant them to be, but then again, maybe I was trying to force myself to fall out of love with him. Everything would be easier then. "I'm fine. Done?" 

Bellamy huffed. "You're going to hate me forever too?" 

"Oh don't be so dramatic," I scoffed, trying to push away the irritation flaring in my veins. "I don't hate you, Bel. Quite the opposite, actually-" 

He smirked. "Opposite?" 

My heart skipped a beat. I glanced over at Monty and Sinclair who seemed to be listening with amused intrigue. More annoyance coursed through me. 

"Yeah, we're not doing this right now," I snapped. "Unless it stops Alie, whatever this is between us right now doesn't matter." 

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, I'm the dramatic one." 

I narrowed my eyes at him, but didn't dignify that with a response. Instead, I turned my attention towards the front door which Niylah stepped through, a familiar wristband in her hand. We took it into a separate work room where we wouldn't be too distracted by Raven's wailing. 

"Niylah said we can work in here," Clarke said. "So how do we do this?" 

"We think Raven wanted to use this wristband to generate and EMP," Sinclair replied. "Which is freakishly brilliant." 

"Meaning what?" Bellamy implored. 

"A targeted electromagnetic pulse could destroy the chip's circuitry," Sinclair explained. "We could use this to send an EMP along Raven's own nervous system. Just need to reverse the polarity, wire for external input, and attach to a battery."

"Oh just that, huh?" I muttered under my breath. Beside me, Bellamy chuckled. Annoyed, I blew some hair out of my face in response. Louder I said, "What would that do to her?" 

Sinclair reassured, "EMPs don't affect our bodies." Then he frowned, which was not reassuring. "But I don't know the mechanics of how this chip integrates with her brain." 

"This was Raven's plan," Bellamy said. "She wouldn't do it if it was gonna destroy her brain." 

Octavia entered the room. "Depends how bad she wanted it out."

"Regardless," Sinclair said. "Without an electromagnet, this is just talk." 

"Where do we get one?" Clarke asked. 

Sinclair sighed, and I sensed an answer I didn't want to hear. "The Ark. Every station had a pulsed inductive thruster for maneuvering." 

"Arkadia's out of the question. It's too dangerous. You heard them," Bellamy said gruffly.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Why did he always have the need to be so commanding? Take a rest. 

Monty input, "We use the dropship. It has PI thrusters just like the Ark." 

Sinclair nodded. "That's good. Okay, I'll go salvage that part." 

"Uh...no," Monty argued. "You should stay with Raven and figure out how this thing works. I'll take the rover. Be back by the time you finish the device." 

"I'll go with you," Octavia offered, which Bellamy clearly didn't think was a good idea. Before he could say anything, she was gone, Monty right after her. I knew he was just itching to chase after her and make their situation worse, so I put a hand on his arm to stop him. 

"Don't," I whispered. Thankfully, he listened to me.

From the bedroom, Jasper screamed, "Guys! GUYS!" 

Together, we raced into the bedroom. Horror struck me when I saw Raven had torn open her stitches in her arm, and was stretching to untie her left hand with her teeth, and her right shoulder was definitely not in place. Without hesitation, I reached for her, and held back her undamaged hand before she could do anything to it. 

"She's gonna bleed to death!" I cried, trying to pull her head away from her wounded wrist soaked in crimson. 

"Get me bandages!" Clarke barked, and I couldn't tell if anyone followed her orders in the chaos. 

I struggled to keep Raven down, and desperation overcame me. "Stop fighting us Raven!" 

But she didn't. 

"Alie, Alie!" Jasper ventured, and I raised an eyebrow at him. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. Talk directly to the bitch that held our friend captive in her own mind. "Look at me! I know you can hear this. Why are you doing this to her? Let her go!" 

"I'll let her go when you give me what I want," Raven said in such an unfamiliar, monotone, falsetto voice that it made me want to throw up. "The technology that Clarke carries, it belongs to me." 

"No way," Clarke growled. 

I shook my head in disbelief. "Clarke, just give it to her! Clarke!" 

Clarke stared at Raven with angry tears in her eyes. Conviction filled her voice, her words hot and sharp. "If you let Raven die, you'll never get it." 

For a moment, they stared each other down, Raven still struggling against her bonds, but then she went limp. I guess Alie didn't want to risk losing the technology. 

"Untie her wrist," Clarke commanded. "Hold her steady." 

I did as she said, but turned away when Clarke popped Raven's shoulder back into place. "Clarke, she's never gonna stop trying to get away."

Bellamy added, "We can't let her hurt herself again." 

Clarke nodded. "Someone has to stay with her. I'll be first watch. We'll take turns." 

"You don't give the orders Clarke!" Jasper exploded, his voice so abrupt I startled. Bellamy threw me a concerned glance and I shrugged it off. 

Raven drawled, "Guess he doesn't forgive you for murdering his girlfriend." 

Time stopped for a moment, and I feared Jasper was going to lash out, do something incredibly stupid. 

"Jasper, take a break," Bellamy suggested. Thankfully, he obliged. I gave Clarke an apologetic smile, and then followed him out of the room. God, how I longed for a cup of moonshine right now. 

Jasper spent the next fifteen minutes trying to pick the lock on the handcuff still locked around his wrist. I thought about offering to help, but if I were in his place I wouldn't want any succor either. Already I was a little rigid about the idea of accepting help, though I supposed that was only aimed at Bellamy. Regardless, I knew to help Jasper would only make him feel worse. And that was the last thing I wanted. So I just sat at the table across from him in silence, fidgeting with a few stray trinkets. 

Finally, Jasper spoke, glancing up to look at me. "You're okay with her coming back after all this time? Taking over?" 

I shrugged. Truthfully, I wasn't sure. I thought she was a good leader, but I'd had enough of taking orders lately. "She's trying to save Raven."

Jasper turned back to his handcuffs. "Guess she thinks Raven's worth saving. Lucky for her." 

"Get yourself together, Jasper, alright? You can't let your anger get in the way of what we have to do," Bellamy input from the other end of the room. 

Jasper snorted. "That's funny coming from you. When you're angry, people die. Just ask that girl over there." 

He pointed to Niylah, before he stormed out of the room. I cast my eyes down to my hands. Bellamy had killed her father, and so many others, and yet I found myself still in love with him. I had killed too, so by no means was I better than him, but it was different. Killing was different than slaughtering. And yet, here we all were fighting together against a mind controlling AI. The world was not so black and white. 

Hyper-aware of Bellamy's gaze burning holes in my head, I picked up a strange colored cube. Idly, I began turning it in several directions. It didn't distract my mind as I hoped it would. 

"Okay, what?" I finally said, slamming the cube down onto the table. 

Bellamy shrugged. "What?" 

"You're looking at me like you're dying to say something. So out with it."

Bellamy opened his mouth, but before he could spill what was on his mind, Clarke's shouts caught our attention. Clearly, Raven - er, Alie - was getting to her. Without hesitation, I leaped to my feet and pushed aside the cloth covering the door to the bedroom. I wrapped my arms around Clarke's middle and pulled her away. 

"You're done Alie, you hear me?" Clarke cried, struggling against me. "We're gonna fry you!" 

"Hey, come on!" I grunted pulling her out of the room, trying to ignore the empty void in Raven's eyes, the trickle of blood down her chin. "Calm down!"

Once out of the room, she finally did stop fighting me, and took a few deep breaths. I shot a commanding look at Bellamy and he seemed to understand what I wanted. In a few minutes, he returned with a clean bandage and handed it to me. 

"I let her get to me," Clarke whispered as I wrapped the bandage around her wounded arm. The arm Alie-controlled Raven had taken a bite into. 

"You don't say." I offered her a small smile. "Take a break. I'll let her beat me up for a while. Bellamy too. He needs something to do." 

Clarke nodded. 

I turned and entered the bedroom. Bellamy followed close behind me. I took a seat in one of the chairs opposite the bed, and Bellamy the other. I narrowed my eyes and stared at Raven, waiting for her to say something, to try and push my buttons. I wasn't going to let that happen. 

Tense seconds turned to agonizing minutes as we sat in silence, staring at each other, waiting for Raven to start her taunts. My knee started bouncing and I was about ready to burst with anxiety when she finally indulged in our presence. 

"Look at your united front," Raven drawled, rolling her gaze over the both of us. "Tell me, why have you forgiven Bellamy so soon after almost murdering your father?" 

My eyes flickered up to her. "Don't talk about my father." 

"You don't have to listen to this," Bellamy cautioned me. 

I shot him a glare. "Don't have to listen to you either. Just shut up, okay?" 

Raven laughed. It was cold, emotionless, so cruel it sent shivers down my spine. "Oh, haven't forgiven him then? You two are so obnoxious. Will they, won't they? No one cares. Neither of you are very good at making friends are you? Always so high and mighty, stubborn. I'm a Kane. Cater to my every will." 

I rolled my eyes. "You're not going to get anything out of this." 

"Without your father, you'd be nothing," Raven continued, smirking. Though I tried not to let her get to me, I could feel my anger rising. Pushing it away didn't help. "Just another criminal who doesn't know how to control their rage. Feels out of place in the world. Completely useless." 

"Stop," I muttered, swallowing back the lump in my throat. I had to hand it to Alie. She knew how to hit home. Hard. 

"Stop what? The truth? You fight to protect your friends, to prove you're worthy of being part of the group. So you don't get swept away into the masses, completely forgotten about. Like your mother." 

Anger flared and I balled my hands into my fists. "I said stop!" 

Raven chuckled and tilted her head. "Scared you're going to drown in your own guilt for everything you've done? Scared you're going to end up worthless? So much so that not even Bellamy could love you." 

I got to my feet, rage pulsing through my veins, but before I could say anything, Bellamy stepped in front of me. "Enough." 

Raven turned her attention to him. "Oh, Bellamy. Ever so protective. Of Kane especially. Too bad it's not working out between you guys. Well, you know, Blake, we've had our fun together, haven't we?" 

I tensed. Rubbing salt into the ever gaping wound. I tried to keep calm. A rise was giving Alie what she wanted. 

Silence. Bellamy just stared at her with a tough resilience. 

Raven smiled. "It's okay. We don't have to talk about it. Usually not much to talk about anyway. But I do have one question. Does it bother you that you don't get any credit for the genocide at Mount Weather? Clarke gets to be the Commander of Death, but you murdered all those people too and you're just forgotten. Then again...you didn't get credit for the culling on the Ark either." 

That would have happened anyway. So many people would have died anyway. Bellamy already carried so much weight on his shoulders. I didn't want this Alie thing to add to his misery, remind him of things long since past. Things I had forgiven him for. 

"How many people suffocated when you threw away my radio?" Raven continued. "You know, at least Clarke was saving her own people. You were just saving your own ass. Of course, that's nothing compared to killing your own mom."

Bellamy tensed beside me, and I put a hand on his back, just ever so slightly. Out of view of Raven so she couldn't taunt about it, but enough to let him know I was there for him, that he could focus on me and not the words coming from her mouth. 

"You just  _had_ to take little sister to her first dance. You might as well have just shoved Aurora out of the airlock yourself," Raven sneered. "Do you think she would be proud of you now? For the kind of leader you've become? Or would she see the truth like the rest of us do? That you're a follower. Clarke's been back for one day and you're already taking orders. A good little knight by his queen's side. Too bad you've never been that devoted to Y/n." 

I narrowed my eyes at her and fought the urge to choke her. It wasn't Raven. I had to keep telling myself that. Bellamy glanced over at me, and I gave him a twitch of my lips, the most I could offer at the moment. 

"You don't know what you're talking about," Bellamy growled. 

"Didn't trust that she was right about Pike. Almost got her father killed. Almost lost her forever," Raven explained. "But you proved her wrong, huh? To protect her, you took Pike's side against the Grounders. I mean, you picked up a gun and slaughtered an army that was sent to protect us. All that did was turn the ones you love against you. But hey, a Grounder's a Grounder, right? Right?" 

Just then, Niylah burst into the room, rage plastered across her face. Instinctively, I stepped in front of Bellamy, knowing she would go for him in revenge. 

"My father..." 

"Niylah," I cautioned, grabbing her wrists before she could throw a punch at me or Bellamy. 

"You killed him!" She shouted, tears in her eyes. 

Clarke grabbed Niylah by the arm, trying to drag her away. "Niylah! Niylah, you can't be in here!" 

"It's too late," Jasper said. "Raven's already seen her. Alie knows we're here." 

She smiled at us, and I glared, storming out of the room. God I hoped Monty and Octavia came back soon.

I chased Bellamy outside, where he kicked a barrel and punched a fence a few times before his knuckles split. I sighed. It was hard to see him like this. 

"Feel better?" Niylah asked, appearing behind me.  

Slowly, Bellamy turned around to look at her, but instead his eyes fell upon me. This time, I didn't break the gaze. Raven or Alie or whatever was right. I was scared I was going to drift away, and everyone would forget about me. But it was the thought of him forgetting me that stung the most. 

"All I wanted was to protect my people," Bellamy whispered, his eyes soft and lost. Filled with as much torture and pain as any of us. 

"By destroying mine?" Niylah responded. 

Bellamy's voice broke. "I'm sorry." 

"People like you always are." 

Bellamy turned his gaze to the ground. I wanted to comfort him, to say something that would make him feel better, but I didn't get the chance. The familiar rev of the rover approached and it came to a halt in front of us. Monty and Octavia hopped out, though there was something in their eyes, Monty's especially. A horror and loss beyond anything I would have expected to see in him. 

Monty stormed past us with purpose, straight for the house. Octavia followed at a slower pace. 

"What happened?" I asked. 

"Monty had to kill his own mom," Octavia whispered. 

My stomach dropped. Shit. Poor kid. No one deserved that. Especially not Monty. No wonder he carried such angry resolve with him. 

I turned and strolled inside, heading for the bedroom we left Raven tied up in. 

"We're all set," Sinclair explained. Finally some good news. "All we have to do is connect her and activate the electromagnet." 

I latched on tight to Raven's wrist as she began thrashing against us. I tried to make it as easy as possible for Sinclair to hook up the device to her, but she was certainly giving me a run for my money. And then to my horror, Raven began to slam her head against the metal backboard with all her force. 

"She's trying to kill herself!" Bellamy exclaimed, pushing her head against the metal to try and force her to keep still. 

"Hurry!" I pleaded, straining against Raven's fighting ability. 

"Raven stop, and I'll give you this," Clarke promised, holding up the strange chip. 

In the moment that she was calm, her gaze fixated on the object in Clarke's fingers, I snatched the wristband from Sinclair's grip and attached it to her wrist. 

"No!" She cried, thrashing once again. "You lied! You lied!" 

As Sinclair readied the EMP for operation, Raven grew more desperate, her voice more human and pleading. "No, please don't! The EMP will give me brain damage! You know it will! Please don't do this!" 

"Don't listen to her," Clarke said. 

"Please, you know it will!" Raven screamed. "Sinclair, stop! No, no!" 

Sinclair glanced at her with a pained concern and then turned back to the EMP. "We've only got one shot at this. EMP will fry the wristband too." 

"Do it!" I yelled. 

"Okay, got it!" Sinclair said. 

"Go!" Monty ordered. 

He turned it on, but nothing happened. "We need more power. The battery's not strong enough." 

"Well, then get one that is!" Clarke commanded. 

"The rover!" I suggested, and everyone looked at me, eyebrows raised. "What? It's a powerful battery. Doesn't take a genius to figure that out!" 

Monty nodded and raced out to retrieve the rover battery with Bellamy's help. In a minute, they were back, giant battery in hand. Monty hooked up the EMP to the rover battery and then Sinclair flipped the switch. Raven screamed and then went limp, her eyes closed. 

Panting, I released my hold on her. I waited for her eyes to open. But they didn't. 

"Raven?" I whispered. "Raven, wake up!" 

Clarke shook her. "Hey, come on, Raven. Raven! Wake up! Please." 

Sorrow hung over us, thick and smothering. What if she had been telling the truth? What if we'd just killed her? 

Jasper grabbed a mallet from against the wall and raced to smash the chip Clarke had left on the table. 

"No!" She cried. "No, you can't! Give it back!" 

"Alie did that to Raven!" Jasper argued. "She's never gonna get this!" 

Clarke pulled on his arm, clearly desperate to keep him from destroying the technology. "Don't! Stop! It's Lexa! Part of her is still in there. I saw them cut it out of her head. I'm not..." 

"What is it?" I implored when she trailed off. 

"Both the AIs were made by the same person. Both tap into human consciousness," Clarke explained. "They must work similarly, right?" 

Sinclair offered, "Well there's only one pathway to consciousness so it's possible, yeah." 

"What does this have to do with anything?" Octavia challenged, untying Raven's wrists. 

"I've seen an AI get removed before," Clarke said, heading for Raven. "Help me get her on her side." 

We did as she said, turning her over. Clarke grabbed a medkit from her bag and used a small surgical knife to cut a line down the back of her neck. I wanted to protest, but I trusted she knew what she was doing. Sure enough, after a few moments of crimson streaming out of Raven's neck, globs of silver followed. 

"What is that?" Bellamy asked. 

"Must be whatever's left of the chip," I murmured in response, smiling in relief when Raven coughed and woke. 

* * *

As everyone loaded into the Rover, I took a pause beside Bellamy, who stood ever rigid, eyes watchful. From my pocket, I pulled a fresh bandage I'd taken from Clarke's medkit, and held out my hand. Reluctantly, he offered me his damaged hand, the knuckles bruised and bloody. Gently, I wrapped the cloth around his hand. 

Smiling softly, I said, "You'll recover." 

He looked at me for a moment, and then back to the dark forest. "Will I? What do you do when you realize you might not be the good guy?" 

I rand my fingers over the palm of his hand, something my mother used to let me do to her when I was nervous before a school presentation or  a conversation I was dreading. It was always reassuring for me. I hoped it had the same affect on him now. 

"Maybe there are no good guys." I let my smile stretch wider, turn more genuine. The corners of his lips twitched in response. I wanted to stare into his eyes forever, but we had to get moving. I dropped his hand and jumped into the back of the rover. 

We'd saved Raven. Now we had to save everyone else too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK if it's because I'm on a lot of over the counter pills (damn this sickness!!) or because I'm super tired but this chapter was annoying to write. I really don't know why. Sorry it took forever lmao. Stay tuned for another update!


	11. Demons

Racing across the golden fields, the sun shining down on our rover, I finally felt much better. Yesterday had been so incredibly stressful and emotionally draining. Sitting here in the rover surrounded by most of my friends in good states of mind was all I could have asked for. I glanced to the front where Bellamy was driving, and found him glancing at me through the rear-view mirror. 

"Becca's journal is amazing," Raven exclaimed, turning the pages of the yellowed leather book that Clarke had brought with her. "At twenty-six she found a pathway to access the human mind. That same year, she had to lock up Alie because her answer for what was wrong with the world was "too many people." She was twenty-seven when it launched the bombs."

I sucked in a breath. Of course Alie ended the world. Now that she was back, overtaking everyone in Arkadia and probably the rest of the world, I didn't have a good feeling. Perhaps she would try to kill us all again. Completely wipe out humanity. Not the ideal situation. 

"What did she write about the Flame?" Clarke asked turning around in the front seat. 

"Alie 2.0," Raven responded. "She saw it as a way to atone for her sins. She designed it to not just access a human mind, but to merge with one. It could never wipe us out, because it would be one of us. She would put it in herself first. Altered her genes so her body wouldn't reject the implant." 

Clarke nodded. "Bekka Pramheda. The first Commander. The gene therapy made her blood black, didn't it?" 

"Yeah," Raven replied.

"How'd you know that?" I asked. 

Clarke explained, "Nightblood. That's where it came from. Somehow it became hereditary. Luna has it. That's why we have to find her. If she can access Alie two-"

"She can tell us how to stop Alie one," I finished, astounded at the intelligence of the idea. 

"Bekka Pramheda gets her second chance at atonement," Sinclair added. 

"Get back to the mind pathway," Monty said, not tearing his eyes away from the chip in his fingers. "If Alie uses it to upload our minds to the City of Light, then there's a chance my Mom's still alive."

I sighed, and turned my attention to my fingernails. I doubted that was possible. Her mind might be still exist, but her body was dead. 

Raven threw him a tired, sorrowful look. "That depends on your definition of alive." 

Silence fell. Everyone was looking at Monty with pity. I tried not to. Pity was never helpful. Just being there for him when he needed it was what was important right now. 

Bellamy broke the silence. "Eyes sharp. Weapons hot. We're almost home." Then he grabbed the radio. "Miller come in. Harper, you there? Your ride's two minutes out."

Static. My stomach dropped. That was not a good sign. If everything was okay, they would've responded. And that unsettling feeling swelled when we reached the cave we'd left them in, to find it empty. I tried to keep calm, but I could't shake my anxiety. Solve one problem, and another pops up. 

When we reached the entrance of Arkadia, Bellamy, Clarke, Octavia, and I hopped out of the rover, walking at a steady pace on either side of the vehicle. Weapons brandished, we kept at the ready for anything to come towards us. As we approached Arkadia, my stomach dropped at the sight of the shattered gate, of the hollow buildings, the empty air. 

"We left two days ago," Clarke murmured. "Why haven't they fixed the gate?"

"Maybe because there's no one here to fix it," I responded, glancing warily around me. There was nothing inside the walls. No children playing, no people laughing, no drunken fights. Nothing. It was eerie. Unsettling. Like I was walking into a ghost town. 

Bellamy picked up his walkie and radioed to the others again. "Miller, where the hell are you? I don't like this."

"Maybe they got chipped," Jasper remarked, glancing down at us from the turret. 

I shook my head. "If they got chipped, they'd have been waiting for us at the cave." 

Jasper countered, "Maybe they saw the open gate and went in for Lincoln's book."

"Maybe you should stop saying maybe," Octavia grunted. 

"If they are chipped, Alie already knows we're coming," Clarke said.

I rolled my eyes. Not comforting. But as we wandered through the grounds, it became clear that we were alone. In the center of the grounds, I stopped short at a patch of dried blood on the dirt. Exactly where Lincoln had been executed.

Octavia stared at it for a moment, her face twisted in anger, but it passed. "Let's get his book and get the hell out of here."

Jasper snorted. "That's a plan I can support." 

I turned away from the pool of blood and gripped tight to my pistol. While everyone else headed for the garage, I went to the guard post by the gate. Dropping down to my hands and knees, I rooted around in the dirt, searching for my bow and arrow I'd stashed there a few days ago when my father had been arrested. Rooting around in the dry dirt and grass for what felt like hours, all I ended up with was blackened fingernails and the broken head of an arrow.

Sighing, gave up and sat in the dirt, resting my chin on my knees. Maybe the chipped Arkadians discovered it, took it with them so if we came back here we'd be more defenseless. Or maybe Pike had found it and destroyed it. Or perhaps the earth had just swallowed it. Either way, it was strangely crushing. Spinning the stone arrowhead around in my fingers, I blinked a tear away.

Times were so simple when it was just the hundred down here. When I could take my bow and arrow into the woods and be at peace for hours. And then bring back game to make everyone happy. Bellamy would be so annoyed that I did a better job than him. We'd tease each other for the rest of the day. 

I missed that. I missed being with him. 

"Hey," Bellamy said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?" 

I brushed away my tear, leaving a streak of dirt across my face, and dropped the arrowhead in the pocket of my jacket. "Yeah. Fine." 

He offered me a hand, and I accepted it, getting to my feet. I smiled at him, and didn't want to release his hand. "We gotta get inside, close the garage. It's not safe." 

I nodded. "Yeah, okay." 

When he pulled away his hand, he left a silver object in my palm. It was the ring he'd given me months ago, the one I'd thrown at his feet when I was enraged. Smiling softly, I turned it around in my hand, relishing in its familiar reassurance. It was like Bellamy was extending to me and olive branch, a chance to salvage our friendship, if not our relationship. 

I slipped the ring over my finger, and it felt like a part of me had been returned. 

I followed Bellamy into the garage, feeling lighter, better than I had in a while. Things were falling into place. A good place. But when the door shut behind us, wariness beat out that contentment. I kept my pistol at the ready, just in case. But it truly was like no one was around. Plates of half eaten food sat on the tables, decks of cards in the middle of games were left unfinished. It was eerie. Everyone just up and left. 

"It's like they just got up and walked away," Clarke remarked, as if she'd read my mind. 

"We're in and out," Bellamy said. "Pack as much gear as you can into the rover."

"I'll get the map," Octavia offered. 

Jasper suggested, "I'll uh, go with her. No one should be alone." 

"You don't wanna load gear, huh?" I teased. 

He flashed me a smile. "Not even a little."

"What's the rush?" Raven asked. "They won't be coming back." 

"How do you know?" Clarke retorted. 

"Alie's mission is to chip everyone. It wouldn't make sense to return to a place she already took," Raven explained. 

"It might make sense if there was someone in that place, ie, you," Sinclair input, "who could tell us stuff like that."

Raven nodded. "Good point. Let's load gear."

* * *

"Everyone, finish what you're doing and meet me in the armory," Bellamy's voice crackled through the walkie about a half hour later. 

I set down the pack I was carrying I picked up the walkie. "Why? What's going on?" 

"You'll see when you get here. We just got lucky."

"On our way," I responded, moving to head off, Clarke in tow. 

Raven held up her hand. "Wait. Leave Alie two."

"Why?" Clarke asked. 

She looked up from Becca's journal. "I think I know how to activate it."

"Without a nightblood?" 

Raven pointed to a series of lines in the journal. I couldn't understand any of the words. "This section here codes for activation using a series of passphrases."

"You can read that?" I exclaimed, impressed. 

"What? No, no, how?" Sinclair shook his head. "None of our systems are in that language and you're a lousy coder."

Clarke handed the 2.0 chip to Raven. "Here. What phrase?" 

Raven shook her head. "It doesn't say. Could be anything." 

"Well that narrows it down," I huffed. 

Raven rolled her eyes and ignored me. "It was in Lexa right? She would have known it." 

"Lexa didn't even know she was an AI." 

Raven gave her a small smile. "She wasn't an AI. Her mind was just enhanced by one. I'm guessing the reason she didn't know is because the program degraded over time. Parts of it got lost. Think, Clarke. It might have been a phrase that meant something to Lexa." 

After a few unsuccessful guesses, Sinclair finally managed to uncover what the phrase was. Something Latin, that I didn't understand. Almost no one on the Ark spoke anything other than English. It was amazing I understood anything of Swahili. Latin was dead before the planet even ended, so it was wild Sinclair spoke it. 

"Ascende superious," Sinclair said, and the chip sprang to life. Spindles of blue wires came out of it, and I stepped back instinctively. It was amazing! But also terrifying. I didn't trust it.

Raven leaned in to the hungry wires, entranced, but Sinclair and Clarke pulled her back, and the wires sucked back into the chip. 

"It's like it sensed your mind," Monty remarked. 

"When someone without the blood takes the Flame, the Flame takes their life," Clarke warned. 

"Okay, there must be another way to access the code then," Sinclair said. 

Raven shook her head. "There's not. Until we find it a host, we won't know how to stop Alie."

Clarke took the Flame back. "Then let's find it a host. Come on. Bellamy's waiting."

"So is Luna," I added. 

"Hey, we'll catch up," Sinclair said, holding Raven back.

I nodded, and smiled, then followed after Clarke and Monty. Wandering through the halls of the empty Arkadia was already bad enough, but the flickering lights doubled the eerie ambiance and my heart pounded harder. 

"I have a bad feeling about this," I murmured. 

"You always have a bad feeling," Monty replied. I punched him lightly and he shrugged. 

Clarke said, possibly to be reassuring, "Once we find Luna, this will all be over. Ontari will be exposed as a fraud and the AI will tell us how to shut down Alie." 

"Yeah, that's if everything goes according to plan," I muttered under my breath. 

Monty stopped so abruptly in front of me I nearly ran him down. "If we shut down Alie, what happens to the city of light? Your mom will come back like Raven did. What about mine?" 

Clarke and I both gave him sad, knowing looks. If we destroyed Alie, the city of light would go down with her, and everyone in it. Those who didn't have bodies to return to...would disappear. 

Down the hall, faint music played, filling the stale air with a haunting melody. If the flickering lights weren't bad enough, this was a thousand times worse than anything I could have imagined. Terror prickled down my spine. My gut feeling was right. Something was  _definitely_ off. 

"Someone's here," Clarke said, as if that wasn't obvious. She raised her gun and headed down the hall. 

I grabbed her arm. "Following the creepy music is a bad idea."

She turned to me, gave me a hard look, and then continued down the hall. I rolled my eyes and exchanged a glance with Monty. 

"Or we could follow the creepy music," He whispered, and I chuckled. 

Together, we headed down the hall after Clarke. I gripped tight to my pistol, hoping against hope this wouldn't lead into the trap that it definitely was. Better we all go together than let her fall into it alone, I supposed. 

The music grew louder as we turned a corner. At the end of the hall was the source of the melody; a cute little carousel music box slowly winding down. Cute, were it not for the demonic ambiance it gave off. Who the hell could have brought that here? 

Clarke crouched down and lifted up the box, whose music halted. She turned it over, and on the bottom there was the inscription of a name. "Aaron."

"I don't like this," I said, glancing around, searching the shadows for someone out to kill us. "We should go." 

A rumbling echoed down the hall behind us. Startling, I turned around, gun brandished. What I saw made my stomach drop; a horribly familiar gas canister came to a stop at my feet, emitting red gas. 

"Run!" Clarke yelled. 

I only made it a few steps, before coughing wracked my being. Stumbling, my gun clattered to the floor. My eyes watered and I slammed into the wall, trying to keep my balance. Slowly, my vision faded, and I collapsed to the floor. Monty was already out. I crawled towards him, but my limbs stopped responding. I slumped, and unconsciousness took hold. 

* * *

When I awoke, my hands were manacled in front of me, and a gag tied tight around my mouth. Blinking the drowsiness from my eyes, I looked around to find all my friends in the airlock with me. All of them were chained and gagged like me, but Miller was the only one standing like me. His gaze was trained on Bryan, worry swamping his eyes.

I struggled against my chains, but they proved to be sturdy. Even so, it didn't deter my anger. Who had captured us? Who was trying to hurt my friends? Wildly, I looked around, and found that neither Clarke nor Bellamy was with us. So we still had a chance at being rescued, if I couldn't get us out. 

Sinclair wasn't here either, but by the tear stains on Raven's face, I figured something had happened to him. If I wasn't so distraught with fear and worry for myself and the rest of us, I might have started to cry. 

I turned over my right shoulder, opposite the entrance to the airlock and stifled a scream when I saw a man standing right behind me, fury and greedy revenge burning in his eyes. Not to mention the hate. I recognized him. Emerson. The last Mountain Man. 

"Emerson," Clarke's voice crackled through the radio at his belt. "I know you're listening. We need to talk." 

"I don't need to do anything," Emerson responded. I struggled against my manacles again, grunting with effort. "You should have killed me when you had the chance." 

"And now you're here to kill me, is that it?" 

Emerson chuckled, making my blood boil. "Something like that." 

"Then let my friends go. Do that, and you can have me." The conviction and sincerity in her voice made me want to scream. I knew she would trade herself in to save all of us, but I would rather die than let her die for me. 

"You're brave, Clarke. I'll give you that. They're lucky to have a friend like you. Come to the airlock. No weapons," Emerson ordered. "Right now."

A minute later, I saw Clarke come down the hall towards the airlock, her hands up in surrender. My eyes widened and I shook my head. I couldn't lose her! 

"I held up my part of the deal," Clarke said, stepping closer. "Your turn. Let my friends go."

Emerson chuckled darkly from behind me, making my skin crawl. "Tell Bellamy to show himself first."

My heart practically stopped. I didn't want him to get involved in this. He was the one I wanted to perish least of all. 

Clarke began, "I don't know what you're talking-"

She stopped short as Emerson kneed me in the gut and I let out a grunt of pain, doubling over. 

"No!" Bellamy shouted, coming out from hiding, his gun aimed at Emerson. 

He grabbed my hair roughly and tilted my head back, pressing the cold metal of his dagger to my throat. I choked and coughed, and struggled as much as I could, but the bite of the weapon warned me to stop. 

"Good," Emerson remarked. "Now take out the clip and throw it down the hall, put the gun on the ground, and get inside."

"No!" I screamed through my gag, though it was muffled and indiscernible.

"Please," Clarke argued. "You wanted me. I'll get inside once you let them go." 

Emerson tilted his head. "I was talking to Bellamy."

And then he drew the tip of the knife across my collarbone, drawing a rather thick line of blood. It stung worse than I thought it would, and I gasped in pain. Stinging raged across my skin and I fought back another grunt of pain. I didn't want this to lure Bellamy in here. 

"Okay, okay!" Bellamy cried. "Just stop!"

Clarke shook her head and turned back to him. "Bellamy, don't." 

My thoughts exactly. But Emerson yanked on my hair again, and pressed the blade into my throat, drawing an involuntary grunt of pain from my lips. I looked at Bellamy, pleading him not to enter the airlock, but his eyes were filled with as much terrified sorrow as mine. He wasn't going to let me die. Slowly, he lifted the gun from off his shoulder and took all the rest of his hidden weapons from his clothes and tossed them to the ground. 

He put his hands up and stepped past Clarke towards the airlock. I whimpered, heart sinking as he walked into the airlock. I struggled against Emerson, desperate to try to deter Bellamy, but he pulled even harder, and I choked back a cry of pain. 

"Those are yours," Emerson said, nodding toward and empty pair of manacles near me. My stomach plummeted. His fate was to be the same as the rest of us. When he locked his wrists into the chains, Emerson released me so violently, my head slammed against my arms. 

Emerson pulled out a gun and aimed it at Clarke. "Get on your knees, Clarke. Put your hands behind your head."

She obliged, staring at all of us with a fear that tugged at my heart. All of us were going to die soon. 

I put my foot up against the wall and pulled, trying to use the extra force to yank the chains from the wall. It was to no avail, and I knew that, but I couldn't just stand here doing nothing while everyone I cared about was in danger. 

Emerson stepped out of the airlock, gun still trained on Clarke, and then he closed the door. I stopped fighting and stared in horror at the window of the door, as Emerson wrapped an arm around Clarke's throat and pressed her up against the door.

The lights went red inside the airlock and the PA announced, "Airlock five, oxygen venting."

Terror exploded in my chest. This was it. We were all going to die. I turned my gaze to Bellamy, and found his eyes locked with mine. After everything, I still wanted him to be the last thing I saw. I gasped as the air grew thinner. My chest burned. Tears flowed down my face. It felt like I was on fire, burning from the inside out. Slowly, my vision dimmed. Bellamy's eyes fluttered closed, and he went limp, just like everyone else around me. Heartbreak swallowed me, slithered through me like a snake, consuming my every thought, every feeling, every nerve. 

It was almost a relief when I blacked out. 

I didn't know how much time passed, but oxygen flowed back into my lungs and I gasped. Coughing, my eyes fluttered open. Glancing around, I found everyone else waking up too, and I nearly sobbed in relief. Outside of the airlock, Emerson was dead, surrounded by a pool of his own blood that dripped from his eyes. I had no idea what Clarke had done, but whatever it was, I was grateful. 

The rest of the night was somber. 

Sinclair had been murdered. It was a horrible end, one he least of all deserved. I was going to miss him. Hopefully the funeral pyre we set up would bring his spirit some peace. And the rest of ours. 

Bellamy brought out Lincoln's body wrapped in a tarp. He laid him down on the ground beside the pyre, giving Octavia the chance to say goodbye before we set him alight. Her sobs broke my heart. Teary eyed, I looked up at Bellamy.

"Yu gonplei ste odon," we all hummed as Octavia set the torch under the pyre, sending the logs and subsequently the bodies of Lincoln and Sinclair up in flames. 

I stood beside Bellamy as I watched the bodies of our friends burn. There was nothing to say. All we could do was honor them with respectful silence. I hoped they found peace in the afterlife. And I hoped the rest of us found it while there was still breath in our body. 

Gently, I touched my fingers to Bellamy's hand. He didn't look at me, and I didn't look at him, but he returned the gesture. Just barely, we held hands. 

"It's time to go," Octavia grunted, after angrily staring into the flames for a while. "I'll get the map."

I kept my gaze trained on the dancing flames. Everything always moved so fast. One thing stopped, another started. I just wanted to stay here, holding Bellamy's hand, feeling the light touch of rain on my face. 

We could find Luna in a minute. Right now, I just wanted to take another moment to say goodbye to my friends. But as the flames of the fire burned down to embers and ash, I knew we had to leave. The more time we wasted not finding Luna, the less chance we had of saving everyone else. 

Guess we had to get moving. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally unrelated sidenote, I love Draco Malfoy. IDK why but I think we would get along. My friend said it's because I'm casually mean, but there you have it. The next update might take a little while longer as I'm going to head into a coma to fight off this sickness lmao. Plus class and then part two of Shane Dawson's video on Monday, so I dunno when it'll be updated, but it will so stay tuned!


	12. Join or Die

I had no idea where we were going. Supposedly Luna's clan lived on the coast of the sea, which I had never been to. Honestly, I was rather apprehensive. Land was fine. Water was more mysterious. Never know what's gonna come out of there. Granted, the same could be said for the forest, but at least there's solid ground you can run away on. If something comes at you in the sea, you gotta fight, or die. 

I shook my head, pushing away my nervous thoughts. I'd faced much worse than the ocean. And I was here with Bellamy, riding in the front for once, so I figured I'd be fine. Although the ride has gotten rather bumpy and I was pretty sure my teeth were going to shatter after clacking together so violently. 

"It's been almost an hour since we passed the airplane wreckage," Jasper piped up from the back. "Seeing as we're using a map with no distances, it could be days before we reach Luna's village."

"At least we know we're going in the right direction," I replied, keeping my gaze forward, scanning the darkening trees. 

"We're running out of daylight," Jasper said. "We should stop in the sun and recharge the battery."

I snorted, leaning my head against the window, speckled with raindrops. "What sun? Let's just keep going until it dies."

"We keep going until we get to Luna," Octavia grunted. 

Jasper held up Lincoln's notebook, open on a page with a drawing of a girl with wild hair. "This her?" 

"Yes," Octavia affirmed. 

"What do you think she's gonna say when we show up asking to put an AI in her head?" 

I exchanged a glance with Bellamy. None of us were sure what would happen. All we could do was hope she would help. 

Octavia said, "Lincoln said she helps those that are in trouble. She'll help us too." 

Terrain grew more rocky, and a minute later, we came to an abrupt stop in front of a fallen tree. I peered out the windshield, searching for any way we could move forward. Didn't look like we could keep going this way. 

"You think she can help us find a better map?" Jasper muttered. Octavia glared at him and snatched back the journal. 

"Backtrack," Bellamy said, switching the gear of the rover into reverse. "Find somewhere where the trees aren't so bad."

But Octavia had already hopped out the back and headed into the forest. 

I sighed. "Guess we're going on foot."

We jumped out of the rover and chased after Octavia who seemed to know where she was going. 

"Anyone hear the part where I said it could be days?" Jasper complained. 

After racing through the trees for what was only about a minute, Octavia held up her hand and told us to stop. I nearly ran into her, but managed to avoid that. "You hear that?" 

I tilted my head and listened to the nature around us. Everything seemed normal, the breeze in the trees, the rain dripping onto the soil, but then I heard something different; the undeniable crashing of waves. 

"Water!" I exclaimed, smiling. We took off again, and Bellamy shouted at us to be careful. Neither of us were really listening. Hostile or not, these people were really the only option we had of saving everyone. 

"They're not hostile!" Octavia snapped. "Put the guns down!" 

Bellamy obliged, and followed after us. Adrenaline pounded in my veins as we raced through the trees, past a gushing river and burst out of the treeline. I stopped in my tracks, eyes wide as I stared out at the empty ocean. It stretched as far as they eye could see, melting into the horizon. It was both astounding and terrifying, beautiful and dangerous. 

Amazing. 

"Where's the village?" Jasper asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I hadn't even noticed the lack of people, but now that he mentioned it, a pit formed in my stomach. What if we'd come all this way just to find that it didn't exist anymore?

Octavia turned to her notebook, and then pointed at a bunch of cairns arranged at the end of the strip of land before the sand turned to sea. Supposedly that's where the village lied. But there was nothing except for towers of rocks, built in a circle. It seemed deliberate, but I didn't know why. Maybe it was to honor the lost village. I certainly hoped that wasn't the reason. 

"No, it can't be," she breathed, before taking off towards the marked location. We all followed after her. 

Standing in the midst of the rocks didn't clarify anything at all. It truly felt like an honored ground meant for a lost village. Maybe it'd been sunk into the sea. The only thing I was sure of was that there was nothing here. 

"It isn't a village," Clarke said, her voice wavering. "It's just a bunch of rocks. She's gone."

Jasper huffed. "What do we do now?" 

We all exchanged glances, no answers arising. Luna was our last hope and if she wasn't here, there wasn't much we could do. Octavia collapsed on a rock at the edge of the shoreline, and screamed into the wind. I closed my eyes and buried my face into my hands. This sucked. 

But we weren't going to leave. Giving up was not an option, not until we'd figured out every angle. For now, we decided to camp for the night, and make a fire before we lost too much light. While Bellamy went off to gather logs, I helped Octavia arrange the wood into a tee-pee shape. Then I grabbed a couple sticks and a mesh of dry tall grass to use as a start for the fire. It took a lot of frustrating work, but I finally managed to get the grass to spark and smoke billowed up from it. Before it completely burned out, I cupped the grass in my hands and set it underneath the pyramid of logs. I smiled at my work as the flames licked the slightly damp wood, burning into a large, warm fire. 

"It'll be dark soon," Clarke remarked after a while of working in silence. "We need to talk about what we're going to do."

"We wait until first light," Octavia suggested, "and then we split up and search the shore in both directions."

"I agree," Bellamy said. "Lincoln wouldn't put this spot on the map unless it was important."

He reached down to pick up the notebook, but Octavia snatched it away from him, fuming with anger. "Don't touch that!" 

I threw him an apologetic glance. Understandably, she was still pissed. She'd lost her boyfriend, and it was partially his fault. But I hoped they'd resolve it eventually. Because I didn't want either of them to keep hurting, to drive this wedge between them further. 

"Come on, O," Bellamy pleaded, crouching next to her as she angrily threw some more logs into the fire. "How long?" 

"I don't know," she grunted, breaking a stick in half over her knee. "I can't even look at you. Because every time I do, I see Pike putting that gun to Lincoln's head. I hear the gunshot. I see him fall." 

"I didn't kill Lincoln," Bellamy said. 

"No, but he is dead because of you!" Octavia shouted, getting to her feet. 

Bellamy also rose, and I could feel his front shooting up. Both of them were putting up their shields, which meant none of this was going to go over well. "I came to you. You didn't take my help. If you had just trusted me, I-" 

Octavia scoffed and dropped back down to her knees again, tossing more sticks into the fire. Bellamy pursed his lips and stormed away, far down the shoreline. I bit my lip and sighed. Jasper threw something into the fire, and the flames turned bright green. My eyes widened and I stepped back in shock. 

"What did you just do?" Octavia asked. 

Jasper shrugged, and held up a pine needle branch. "Nothing. I just threw these into the fire."

A knowing look fell over Octavia's face.

"What is it?" Clarke implored. 

She opened Lincoln's journal and pulled out a flattened branch of pine needles. She tossed those into the fire, and once again the flames flashed green. "Signal fire. He was trying to tell us. This is how we contact Luna."

We all smiled, and Jasper went to gather more. I turned over my shoulder to see Bellamy still storming down the shore, and my smile dropped, as did Clarke's. She moved to go after him, but I grabbed her arm, stopping her. 

"I got it." 

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath of fresh, salty air, gathering strength for the conversation ahead. Crossing my arms, I walked down the rocky beach, and took a halt beside him. 

"Let me guess," he grunted, when I approached him, "you came here to fix things. Kane, the peacemaker."

I narrowed my eyes, but tried not to let his anger with his sister get to me. "I came here to see if you were okay."

"Well, I don't need your help." He turned to look at me, and I stared back, but broke the gaze and instead turned towards the roiling sea. For a while, silence was our company, and then he turned over his shoulder at Octavia. When he spoke again, his voice was softer, more broken, and his eyes weren't so hard. He needed help. He just didn't want to admit that. "Y/n, I've lost her."

I stepped closer to him, and put as much sincerity into my voice as I could. "Give her time, Bellamy. There may be blood on your hands, but it's not Lincoln's." 

He shook his head, tears welling. "Some of it is."

I sighed and locked my eyes with him. "Maybe. But you didn't want that to happen. You tried to stop it. Octavia will forgive you eventually. The question is, will you forgive yourself?" 

Tears slipped down his face, as he stared at me. "Forgiveness is hard for us. I was so angry at you for not trusting me, for not taking my side. I don't wanna feel that way anymore."

I wiped away one of my own tears before it could fall any further. Bellamy had been so distraught over Mount Weather, blaming himself for everything bad that had happened, that it made him easy prey for Pike. I had forgiven him for everything because he was remorseful, because I knew the real him, the one that hadn't been twisted by the venomous lies of a power-hungry dictator. 

"You know, you're not the only one trying to forgive yourself," I murmured. "Maybe you'll get that someday. But we need each other, Bel. What we're doing now, the only way we're gonna pull this off is together."

"Have you forgiven me?" 

I offered him a small smile. " _Radhi ni ushindi._ Something my mother always said to me on the Ark whenever I got irrationally mad. It means, forgiveness is victory. Forgiveness has never been hard for me, especially for those who I know deserve it. Those like you." 

He nodded, and I hooked my arms around his neck, pulling him into a deep, warm bear hug. Bellamy wrapped his hands around my back and buried his head into the crook of my neck. I hoped this made him realize that I was going to be there for him. After everything we've been through, I doubted there was anything that could break us anymore. 

Suddenly, Bellamy pulled away. Startled, I turned around, and found a bunch of masked figures rising from the water, crossbows aimed at us. Before I could even think of going for the knife tucked away safely in my boot, the men were on me, grabbed my arms and roughly forcing me to the ground. I struggled against them as they bound my wrists together and wrapped a gag around my mouth. I kicked out at anyone I could, but they aimed their crossbows at me and Bellamy and I stopped fighting. 

They yanked me to my feet and practically dragged us through the water around to the other side of the cairns, so they could sneak up on Octavia, Jasper, and Clarke. As they approached them, the men leading us forced us back down to our knees. I glanced over at Bellamy, terrified. Maybe he sensed my fear, because he gave me a reassuring look. If these were Luna's people, maybe they were rather hostile. Maybe this wasn't going to go the way we planned. 

"Who are you?" One of the unmasked men barked to Octavia in Trigedasleng. "Why did you signal?" 

"I am Octavia kom Skaikru, and I seek safe passage," she replied in their language. 

"Skaikru, bringers of death," the man grunted. "Why should we give you safe passage?" 

"Lincoln," Octavia said, which seemed to be enough to make these people feel better. "He sent us."

"Remove their gags and free their hands," the leader said, and the bonds around my wrists were cut away. 

I rubbed my wrists and got to my feet, stepping closer to Bellamy. "What's going on?" 

"I don't know," Octavia whispered back. 

The leader pulled a pack from inside his jacket and offered a vial of yellow liquid to Octavia. I raised an eyebrow. Suspicious. Reluctantly, she accepted it. 

"What is that?" Clarke asked. 

He handed her one, and then one to the rest of us. "Safe passage."

I turned the vial over in my fingers. It was made of glass, cool to the touch. I popped the top off, and sniffed, but there was no odor to be detected. "What does it do?" 

The leader didn't reply. Octavia poured the contents into her mouth. 

"Octavia, wait!" Bellamy said. 

She glared at him. "I trust Lincoln."

So far, so good. She didn't seem to be dying, so that was a good sign. 

"If only she drinks, only she goes," the leader explained. 

"See you on the other side." Jasper raised his vial and downed it. 

I glanced over at Bellamy and shrugged. If it was our only way to get to Luna, to save our people, I'd drink it. "Here I go." 

It slaked down my throat, thicker than water but just as tasteless. Almost immediately, I felt something shift in my body. Not super noticeably, but it was like some sort of drowsiness was crawling through my veins. And then I saw Octavia and Jasper collapse, and my blood ran cold. 

"Shit," I muttered, stumbling backwards into Bellamy. My vision blurred and my limbs grew heavy. 

"Y/n?" Bellamy whispered in my ear. "Are you okay?" 

I couldn't respond. Everything went limp, and I collapsed to the ground, unconscious. 

* * *

When I awoke, it was cold. Beside me, Bellamy was slowly stirring. I clambered to my feet and wildly looked around, to find that we were in a metal box, rays of sun filtering in through hole in the top. My panic swelled as I reached down into my boot to find my knife gone. 

"Where the hell are we?" Bellamy asked. 

"My sword's gone," Octavia exclaimed. 

"And my knife," I added. 

"Guns too," said Jasper. 

But Clarke still had the Flame, so that was good, at least. 

A clanging echoed from the front of the box. I readied myself in a fighting stance, in case it came to that. But when the door opened, bright light blinded me, and I had to shield my eyes to just barely make out the figure striding towards us. A woman with wild, curly hair that looked just like Lincoln's drawing. 

"Luna," Octavia breathed. 

"Where's Lincoln?" She replied. 

Octavia pursed her lips. "Lincoln is dead."

"Lincoln said that you would help us," Clarke said, stepping forward. 

"Did he?" 

"Luna, you're the last of your kind. The last nightblood." 

Luna glanced toward the ground. "So Lexa is dead as well."

Clarke's face fell, but she recovered from it rather quickly. "Lexa's spirit has chosen you as the next Commander. Titus entrusted me with the Flame to give to you."

She shook her head. "Then he should have told you that I left my conclave swearing to never kill again."

"You don't have to kill," Clarke reassured her. "To lead is your birthright. How you lead is your choice."

Clarke presented the Flame to her, hope shining in her eyes. 

"I recognize the sacred symbol, but what is it?" Luna asked, touching it gently. 

"This is the Flame," Clarke explained. "It holds the spirits of the Commanders. Of Lexa. Will you take it and become the next Commander?" 

We all waited in tense silence, as the question hung heavy in the air. 

"No." 

It felt like all the breath had been sucked from my lungs. No? We needed her! We couldn't save everyone without her!

"Hey, wait!" Clarke said, chasing after her. 

I followed everyone else, stepping out of the metal box, and was taken aback at the sight that met me. Ocean. All around us, sky and ocean, no land in sight. 

We were stranded on an oil rig in the middle of the sea, with a woman who refused to help us. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all sorry this took so long to get out! I got busy with life and class and stuff, but fear not! More updates coming soon. Hope you're having a fantastic Valentine's day! My roommate and I just bought chocolate for ourselves so it's been a good day.


	13. Red Sky At Morning

"Everywhere I looked, there were fins. And teeth. And blood," a girl said, dancing around the circle of people listening intently to her surely embellished story. Admittedly, I'm a bit jealous about her ability to capture everyone's attention. Logically, I know that there are so many storytellers, but for the longest time I was the only good one. Even Jasper was listening intently with the hint of a smile on his face. At least that means he still can. 

Bellamy seemed to sense my annoyance because he shifts closer to me, and whispered, "You're better, you know." 

I fought back a smile, but lost. "Thanks."

I leaned against him, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I wasn't sure that we were back together again, but he was always going to be one of my best friends. So I relished in the comforting warmth and tried to ignore the dirty look Octavia threw me. Just because she was pissed at him didn't mean I had to be anymore. 

The echo of a door opening resounded through the room and I looked up to find Luna entering. "She's back. Maybe she changed her mind?" 

Bellamy, Clarke, and I got to our feet to go talk to her, though I was the only one out of the three of us that seemed rather apprehensive about it. Luna seemed like someone firm in her beliefs, unwavering. I doubted that we could push her to take the Flame. Still, I hoped we could convince her.

"The boats return at nightfall," she said when we stopped in front of her. "Then you leave. Forever." 

Figures. 

"Luna, let us explain," Clarke pleaded, stepping towards her. 

Luna glared at her, but her voice remains as soft as it is commanding. "I said no." 

"No, you need to hear this." Bellamy stepped in front of her when she made to move past Clarke. One of the men stuck out a hand in warning. Instinctively, my hand jumped to my back, but I didn't have a bow, and I didn't have a dagger. I couldn't do much to protect him if anything happened. "There's something out there that is going to destroy us all." 

"Whatever it is," Luna replied, staring him down. "It can't reach us here."

A moment of silence, and then she moved on. 

"Great," I muttered. "What now?"

Neither of them responded, which wasn't a good sign. Clarke was normally the brains of the group. If she couldn't figure anything out, we were doomed. 

* * *

Once again, we sat around the fire, listening to the content hum of chatter around us. Part of me wishes I'd been born here, that I'd never have experienced war and death and pain. But then, I never would have met the people who matter most to me, and I wouldn't be who I am. Peace was not so important as my friends. Maybe that was naive. But after everything I'd been through, I thought it was quite the opposite. 

Then again, Jasper was finally happy again. And if he was more important to me than peace, then I'd just thought myself into a paradox. God, my head hurt. 

"Jasper's actually smiling," Bellamy remarked, softly. Clarke didn't respond; instead she turned over her shoulder to look at Luna. "Clarke, let it go."

"We can't just leave," she argued. 

Octavia snorted. "It's not like we have much of a choice."

"Maybe we do," Clarke replied, her voice lined with that familiar "I've got a plan" tone. 

"What are you talking about?" I asked, intrigued. 

"I'm talking about putting this in her head without her asking."

 I snapped my head in her direction. I knew this was a dire situation, but shoving the flame into Luna's head without her knowledge? That seemed rather inhumane. Speaking as a person who'd killed before. 

"No way, Clarke," I whispered. "This isn't like Emerson. He was trying to kill us." 

Clarke sighed. "You think I don't know that?" 

"Clarke," Bellamy said, supporting me. "We don't have to do this. We can fight, go back to Arkadia. Arm up."

"Fight who?" Clarke challenged. "It's an army of our own people!" 

Good point. 

"I don't like this any more than you do," she continued. "But if Raven's right, then the code on this thing could stop Alie. Give me a better idea."

No one said anything. There wasn't a better idea. The world was not so black and white that forcing Luna to take the Flame would make us horrible people. It was the only way to win the war, and save our people. Save everyone. 

I nodded. "We'll stay here. It's the only way they'll leave you alone with her."

Clarke nodded, and moved to leave, but Octavia jumped in. "Even Alie gives people a choice." 

"We gave Luna a choice," Bellamy murmured. "She said no."

Grim resignation fell over all of us. Forcing the Flame on her was the only way to save all of us. We'd done worse things. I could live with this. I just hoped it didn't go south. 

* * *

Pretty sure I jinxed it. As always, it went south. Turns out, Luna was a much better fighter than any of us anticipated, and now we'd done nothing more but solidify her refusal. They were kicking us out. Guards escorted us through the oil rig back to the metal crate that we'd been in when we first arrived. 

"Where's Jasper?" I asked, looking around, finding no sign of him. 

"Saying goodbye to his new friend," Octavia replied, her voice gruff. Guess she was more bitter about this than the rest of us. I hoped her anger about Lincoln's death didn't eat her alive. 

Luna tossed a black duffel bag into the crate. "Your gear. You get your weapons once you land."

"Inside," one of the guards ordered, shoving me roughly towards the crate. I stumbled, and instinctively reached out for Bellamy's arm to steady myself. 

Holding up our hands, we walked into the crate. Clarke hung back, asking for the Flame back, which Luna returned. 

"Remember Clarke," Luna said. "The path of violence is a choice."

"When the choice is to fight or die, there is no choice."

Out of nowhere, the guards that had led us here hit Clarke with a metal pole, and she fell inside the crate. The guards attacked Luna, and my heart sped up. Why would her own people be attacking her? People who came here to be free of violence?

I rushed to help Clarke up, and then we were plunged into darkness. The door to the crate shut with a clang. I gasped. "They're locking us in!" 

"They took the Flame!" Clarke cried.

"Shit!" I let go of Clarke's arm and beat on the doors, but they remained firmly shut. "Let us out! Hey! Hey! Let us out! What is this!" 

Bellamy pulled me away from the door, holding my slowly bruising hands in his. "Luna's people are attacking her. Alie's here."

I pulled my hands away from Bellamy and ran them through my hair. Shit. This wasn't good. If Alie had already gotten to these people, we had no hope of winning. The battle was lost. 

I slid down the side of the crate as Octavia took my place kicking the walls, trying desperately to find a way out. Rage and horror burned through me. Maybe this was a hell of a setback. But I'd be damned if I let Alie get away with this. 

"How did Alie even find this place?" I huffed. 

Bellamy glanced over at me, and my eyes widened. I wasn't going to like what he was about to say. "There was a drone at Niylah's. She must have followed us, looking for the Flame, and now she has it."

"So what the hell do we do?" I grunted, staring up at him. "She's going to put the AI in Luna, right?" 

Clarke nodded. "She'd have to chip her first. If Luna's chipped before she gets the AI, Alie's gonna know everything. We'll never be able to stop her. We can't let that happen."

She started banging on the door, and I joined her for lack of a better thing to do. "Hey!"

For what felt like hours but really was probably only a few minutes, we pounded on the crate. Unsurprisingly, no one came to our rescue. Perhaps this was the end. We were all going to die in here. That's how it seemed; everyone had resigned to sitting on the floor. There was nothing else we could do. 

Hardly aware of what I was doing, I rested my head on Bellamy's shoulder. Maybe he wasn't aware of it either, but when his fingers trailed over my knee, I smiled. It felt comfortable and familiar. Amazing how one little thing could do so much to boost my spirits. Especially after everything we'd been through. Guilt sinks in my stomach. I felt horrible about the things I said to him when we were on opposite sides of the battle in Arkadia. But my anger was real, and valid, and even though it hurt me to hurt him, maybe it was called for. 

Point is, now I know that we could get back to where we were before. Happy. In love. 

That is, if we ever got off this fucking oil rig.

"This place was safe until we got here," Octavia remarked after a while of silence. 

I looked over at her, knowing she was right. But before any of us could respond, a clanking at the head of the crate. All of us snapped to our feet at the commotion and raced to the slowly opening doors. When we got out of the crate, my heart fell. Shay, the storyteller we'd met before was panting on the ground, an arrow lodged deep in her back. 

"Oh my God!" I breathed, unable to look away. 

"A...A machine," Shay coughed out. "P level." 

And then her chest went still. I bit my lip. Another dead, trying to help us. Would it ever end? 

"Let's go," Octavia said, and we ran through the oil rig, following Shay's instructions to P level. 

"Be careful!" Bellamy warned as we burst through a door into a dimly lit room with a frightening barrel of water set up in the middle. Jasper was tied to a post, looking rather distraught, although that was nothing compared to Luna. She held the body of her friend Derrick in her arms. 

I sucked in a breath. Horrible. I shook my head free of my thoughts and ran to cut Jasper down. "You okay?" 

He nodded. "Yeah, fine. They couldn't break me."

Luna's wailing stuck at my heart. A lump formed in my throat, and I found it very hard to speak. What was one to say? I could only find myself staring at Bellamy. As long as I lived, I'd be sure nothing of the like happened to him. 

An hour passed. Luna seemed to have recovered as much as one who'd just killed their friend could recover. A fierce determination burned in her steely eyes. Maybe this was what it took to get her alliance. Peace through blood. Guess that was our motto. Hopefully this funeral would bring them all some solace. It wasn't justice, it wasn't hope, but maybe it would help.

"Any one of them could be chipped and we'd never know," Bellamy murmured, eyes scanning the mournful villagers suspiciously. 

"If they are, they'll make their move before we put the Flame in Luna," Clarke replied, as Luna approached us. "Stay sharp."

A woman offered each of us a simple goblet filled with rich, sweet smelling wine. I smiled in spite of myself. I hadn't had anything of the like. Ever. All I had to get wasted was moonshine. This was the good stuff. Maybe not to get drunk off of, but to drink at least.

"The ceremony is about to begin," Luna said as I took another sniff of the wine. Bellamy rolled his eyes and I nudged him with my elbow as discreetly as possible. A small smile tugged at both of our lips.

"Luna, I'm so sorry," Clarke said. "But now you see what we're facing; an enemy who will do anything to win. She won't stop until she has everyone."

Luna held up the Flame in her fingers. "People I loved died today. Needlessly, at my hand. I can't let that happen again."

Things were looking up, after such bloodshed. 

Luna turned to the mourning people, raising her glass. "As we prepare to give our brothers and sister to the sea, we honor their lives." In trigedasleng, she said, "From water we are born, to water we return."

Everyone repeated the phrase and began to drink. I brought the goblet to my lips like everyone else and sipped. It was a flavor so divine I could have laughed or cried. I wished I could have been drinking this delicacy my whole life. Monty's moonshine was good, but damn this was spiritual. 

Although, maybe a little too much so. I felt...off. 

"If we're going to do this, we need to hurry it," Clarke ordered. "Alie will send reinforcements. And we have to find someplace private to perform the ascension." 

Luna's face did not shift, only her tone from mournful to resolute. That did not give me a good feeling. Nor did my own thoughts. Everything was getting a little cloudy. "You believe that to defeat an enemy who will stop at nothing, you must stop at nothing. How's that different than blood must have blood?" 

"Wait a second, Luna," Octavia argued. "You can't just..."

She trailed off as she dropped to the floor, her cup clattering to the ground beside her. Shit. Now I really felt it. I barely had time to register the fact that I'd been drugged before the world spun around me and the goblet slipped from my fingers, spilling wine over the floor. Immediately, I slipped into unconsciousness.

I was one of the last to wake, followed closely by Clarke. My head pounded, but I managed to stand with Bellamy's help. Salty sea air whipped at my hair, but we were no longer on the oil rig. Instead, we were back on the rocky beach we'd started at. Flame, but no one to use it. No one to tell us how to stop Alie. 

I stared out at the calm waters. Somewhere out there, Luna was hidden away far out of our reach. Without her, this was going to be closer to impossible. 

I sighed as the others joined me at the coastline. "Now what?" 

No response. We were pretty much fucked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all sorry this one took so long to get out. Had a rough week, otherwise not much of an excuse. Promise I haven't abandoned y'all and more is to come. Hope everything is well and stay tuned for another chapter!


	14. Perverse Instantiation - I

My mind raced as I paced back and forth in front of the rover. I had no other way to release my nervous energy other than walking around when I so desperately wanted to fight someone. Specifically Alie, but it was hard to battle something that didn't really exist in the concrete world. That was what made everything about this so infuriating. 

"The Rover's almost charged," Bellamy announced, pulling me away from my raging thoughts. "We need to pack up. We'll be home soon."

"Then what?" Clarke countered. "Run away?" 

Bellamy sighed. "We're not running away, Clarke. We need to regroup with the others and find another way to defeat-"

"There is no other way!" She exclaimed. "We need to find a nightblood. We need to unlock the Flame. It's the only way to stop Alie."

"What do you expect us to do, Clarke?" Jasper groaned from his perch on the hood of the car. "Walk into random villages asking for their nightbloods?" 

Clarke nodded. "If that's what it takes."

I stopped in my tracks. More than anything I wanted to beat this bitch, but I wasn't going to storm more innocent Grounder villages to win. I wasn't going to resort to needless violence. "No, Clarke. If Alie can find us on Luna's rig, then she can find us anywhere. I won't help you destroy another innocent Grounder village."

Clarke's face fell and she stepped closer to me. "If we don't find a nightblood, there won't  _be_ any Grounder villages. Or a home for us to go back to." 

"That's all the more reason we go there and make sure our friends are okay," Bellamy said. 

Clarke looked at each of us in turn, searching for some support but found none. We all wanted to go home. I wanted to make sure my friends were okay. She pursed her lips and walked away. I sighed. She could sulk all she wanted. Nothing was going to change. But I felt like I had to go after her. 

Jasper said, "She'll be fine. Just let her cool off." 

I paused, and gave him a half nod, not completely sincere. Maybe I should let her cool off, but I didn't like the feeling of letting her wander off alone in the woods. Bellamy seemed to be thinking the same thing. Without a word, he handed me a handgun and nodded towards the trees. I flashed him a grateful smile and gently touched him on the shoulder before heading off. Like the first time I'd touched him knowing I loved him, my fingers tingled. 

Once we finished this battle, and we  _would finish this battle_ , I was going to fix things with him. First, I had to find Clarke. And man, she moved fast. It was getting a little difficult to pick up her trail until I heard voices. Hers, and someone else's. Unsettling. 

As the two came into view, I ducked behind a tree. Clarke was arguing with a tall man dressed in furs. I recognized him as Roan, the man who'd kidnapped Clarke and stabbed me. Fury boiled in my chest, but I pushed it away. 

"Please, just stop!" Clarke yelled at Roan, who held the box that housed the Flame in his hands. 

Roan turned around and snarled, "Cause of you, Ontari never ascended! So, no, I won't stop. Not until the Ice Nation has its Commander."

I stepped out of my hiding spot, cocking my gun and aiming it at him. I tried to keep my cool, but my hands shook. Part of me wanted to kill him. I knew that wasn't the right move. "You were saying? Hands where I can see them."

Slowly, Roan raised his hands, bow in one. I turned to Clarke. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Great. Then let's go."

"He's coming with us," Clarke said, pointing at Roan. 

I scoffed. Really? Him? "The hell he is."

"Why would I do that?" Roan asked, clearly as opposed as I was. 

"Because we both want the same thing," Clarke explained. "To put the Flame in Ontari."

I raised an eyebrow. Putting it in her would be sufficient, but it would come with difficult aftermath. From what I understand, Ontari wanted to wipe out Skai Kru. But it wasn't like we had many options. "How do you know he's not chipped?"

"If he were, do you think he would have saved me?" 

I narrowed my eyes. "Still, we need to be sure."

I aimed the gun at his arm and fired without hesitation. Honestly, it released some of my pent up anger. Roan grunted in pain and gripped at his wounded arm, which would prove that his mind isn't living in the City of Light. For an added measure, I knocked him unconscious with the butt of the gun. That, I felt a little bad about. "Now, we're sure."

* * *

By the time night had fallen, we finally reached Arkadia. Despite its emptiness and the fact that the last time it had been full of people it was battling a dictator, I couldn't help the relief. This was home. And seeing Miller, Bryan, Raven, Monty, Harper, it only made it better. Maybe we would fill these walls again under good circumstances. As hard as I found that to believe, I had to remain optimistic. 

Once we were inside the garage, Miller locked it up. I hopped out of the front seat and immediately hugged Raven. She seemed surprised, but hugged back. I feared I wasn't going to see her or any of them again so it felt nice to have a brief reunion. 

"We were getting worried," she said when we pulled away. "Where's Luna?"

"Luna said no," Octavia grunted. 

Everyone's faces fell. Even more so when Bellamy brought out a bound and gagged Roan from the back of the truck. 

"Who the hell is this?" Harper asked. 

"He's Ice Nation," Bryan ground out. 

Clarke nodded. "King of the Ice Nation, actually. And he's our way into Polis."

"This way your highness," Bellamy said, and I cracked a smile in spite of things. He nodded at Bryan and Miller. "You two, follow me. I'll take him to lockup."

"You wanna use him to get to Ontari," Raven realized. 

I nodded. "Yes."

"What happened to his arm?" Harper asked. 

"Y/n shot him," Jasper said. 

Everyone turned to me, and I felt heat rise in my cheeks. "Yeah, just to make sure he wasn't chipped!" 

"Good luck getting him to cooperate," Monty grunted. My cheeks flushed more. Maybe I'd been a little too trigger happy. I missed my bow. That weapon I always aimed true and for the right reason. 

Clarke put her hand on my shoulder in comfort. It helped, if only a little. What would make me feel better is Roan's confirmation of help, and winning this war. Not too much to ask for, right? 

* * *

I couldn't help the nervousness as I followed Clarke and Bellamy into lockup where Roan was chained. I didn't show it. I wouldn't let any of my enemies know they intimidated me. That was a quick way to ultimate loss. 

"Sorry about your arm," I said, nodding to the bloody bandage wrapped his right biceps. 

Roan snorted. "Makes us even." 

Right, for stabbing me. Guess it did. 

"Like it or not, we need each other," Clarke said. 

"Cut to the chase Clarke," Roan groaned. "You said we wanted the same thing. I want an Ice Nation Commander."

"And I can give you one with this," Clarke promised, holding up the Flame. 

"And why would you do that when you know she's vowed to wipe you out?"

Clarke sighed. "We don't have a choice. This isn't just our war. The enemy we're up against is after everyone. Including the Ice Nation. The only way to stop her is to get the information off the Flame. And the only way to do that is to put it in Ontari's head."

"The Ice Nation isn't afraid," Roan growled. 

"You should be," I snapped. "This thing doesn't care what clan you come from. It controls people. And it will take over the Ice Nation just like it took us over, one person at a time, until there is no one left." 

A beat of silence. Roan bowed his head, as if considering my morose words. 

"It already has Ontari," Clarke said. 

That seemed to catch his attention. "I'm listening."

"We need to disconnect her before she gets the Flame," Clarke explained. "Or we'll be giving Alie exactly what she wants. To do that we have to abduct her from the center of a city filled with thousands of people whose minds are linked. All of them thinking as one. Whatever one sees, they all see. Whatever one hears, they all hear." 

Roan nodded and rose to his feet. "I get it. So when do we leave?"

* * *

Packing up was a bit of a blur. I loaded as much gear as I could without being excessive. Everyone else seemed rather confident in this plan, but I couldn't help my shaking hands. I didn't like the idea of us sneaking in the center of Polis. Something was unsettling about all of it. 

I leaned against the rover, cracking my knuckles, trying to keep my mind calm. I saw Miller toss some of Mount Weather's knockout gas into the back of the rover. If everything went to plan, those would do their job of putting Ontari to sleep. 

"Because she's chipped, you'll have to EMP her like you did me before you give her the Flame," Raven said approaching me with a similar contraption we'd used to get Alie out of her head. 

"I thought Jaha destroyed all the wristbands," Jasper remarked. 

Raven chuckled. "So did he. Then I came home. There's only enough usable parts to rebuild one so use it wisely. Made a few improvements too."

I smiled and gently set the device inside the rover. 

"None of which is going to matter if you can't get us access to Alie's code," Clarke said to Raven. 

Raven nodded. "You worry about the nightblood, I'll worry about Alie."

"How can you access code that doesn't exist here anymore?" Jasper asked, his voice inquisitive. I've never known Jasper to be so curious like this, especially as of late. Another bad feeling. I felt like I was going to throw up. 

"We've got a plan," Monty said. 

"What are we waiting for?" Octavia grunted as she entered the garage with Roan in tow. I tried not to look at him. I doubted I would ever trust him, but I could be civil. Which was saying a lot considering he stabbed me and kept me out of commission for a few days. "Let's move out."

I sighed. Off to the fight of our lives. I hugged Raven, Monty, Harper, and Jasper goodbye, hoping I would live to see them again. It was hard to leave them. I memorized their faces, their smiles, their parting words. I wanted to remember them, all of them if I died. 

 _Way to be optimistic_ , a voice mutters in the back of my mind. 

Exhaling slowly, I hopped into the back of the rover and closed the door behind me. The only space left was beside Roan and the thought of sitting beside him made my stomach churn. He'd stabbed me, I'd shot him. We weren't on very good terms and I felt that if he had the chance to kill me he'd take it. Maybe not right now, but I didn't want to take chances. 

Reluctantly, I sat down beside him. Miller and Bryan exchanged glances, and then without another word, Miller put himself between me and Roan, leaving me between the two boyfriends. I smiled gratefully. Perhaps this ride wouldn't completely suck. 

Every now and then we'd chat a little bit, but the mission ahead was too tense for lighthearted banter, so for the most part silence was our accompaniment as night fell. 

"There it is," Clarke announced  _finally_. "We stop here."

The rover screeched to a stop in the middle of the dark woods. Clarke hopped out and walked a few paces ahead of the rover. The rest of us jumped out after her. I stared at the Polis tower, smoke curling from the lights at the top. This far away, it looked peaceful. Shrouded in a tranquil mystery. Too bad I knew it was crawling with enemies we couldn't fight. 

"Alright, this is where we split up," Roan said. "The entrance to the tunnel is right over there."

"We know where it is," Bellamy snapped. 

Roan turned to Clarke. "I'm gonna need the Flame." Clarke didn't move. Roan huffed. "Look, this only works if they send Ontari out to get it. If they don't see it, they won't do that. Not much of a trap without the bait."

Reluctantly, Clarke handed over the Flame to him. "Fine. But I'm coming with you."

My blood ran cold. "No way! That is not the plan."

Clarke didn't break her gaze with Roan. "It is now."

I exchanged a concerned glance with Bellamy. She was going to get herself killed.

"I'm not letting that out of my sight," Clarke said, looking between me and Bellamy. "And I'm the only one who knows the passphrase. So you can tell them that without me, Ontari can't ascend."

Roan nodded. "You'll need to look like my prisoner."

"Okay."

Bellamy shook his head. "Wait a second. Give us a minute."

We stepped between them, and Roan begrudgingly gave us some space. 

"Come on, Clarke," Bellamy said. "You're really willing to trust this guy with your life? He nearly killed Y/n." 

Clarke glanced over at Roan. "No. But you'll be covering us the entire time. And I trust you. Both of you."

I sighed, and bit my lip. I knew Clarke well enough to know she wasn't going to budge on this. So I gave a her a hug, wished her luck, and turned away. 

* * *

Nervous energy filled me from head to toe as we hid in a tunnel beneath Polis. Since the last time I'd been here, it had changed drastically. All the vibrancy and life had been sucked from it, leaving blood and muted color in its wake. Crosses lined the cracked stone pathways, crimson stains coloring them. I tried not to think about what happened here. Swallowing back some bile, I loaded my gun. 

I peered out the windows, keeping my scope trained on Roan and Clarke. It was rough seeing her bound and gagged again. Hopefully things would turn out better this time. A sinking feeling in my stomach argued otherwise.

"Are we ever gonna be done fighting?" Bryan remarked, loading his gun. 

Miller smiled at him. "Hell yes. We're gonna build a house on a lake. And you're gonna plant corn." 

Bryan chuckled. "And raise chickens."

"Yeah," Miller replied, his smile growing wider. "And grow old." 

I found myself staring intently at Bellamy. When he turned to look at me, heat rose in my face. I couldn't deny I wanted the same. To share a life with him, to raise a family, to grow old and die happy. Everything about that sounded euphoric. For what seemed forever, we stared at each other. I raised my hand to put it on his, but by then he'd turned away. I shook my head and resumed my position. 

"Eleven o'clock," Bellamy grunted. "On the signal. He sees Ontari. We wait until she's standing in front of him. And then we launch the gas. They're gonna be holding their breath."

Bryan unloaded the gas canisters from his backpack, tossing one to Octavia. 

"So we gotta be fast," I murmured.

"Anyone who gets in our way we use non-lethal force," Bellamy ordered. "These people are not the enemy. They're being controlled. The only thing we're here to kill is Alie. Is that clear?" 

I rolled my eyes. Thanks for the recap. "Clear."

Bellamy flashed the light on his gun a few times to signal Clarke that we were ready whenever it went down. We couldn't really hear what was being said, but Roan held up the Flame in his hand, so I could only assume he was announcing their presence. I gripped tighter to my weapon, longing for the reassurance of my bow, wherever the hell it was.

I narrowed my eyes as a bunch of people surrounded Clarke and Roan. My stomach twisted as Jaha came out to greet them. 

"It's Jaha," I hissed. 

"What the hell is he doing here?" Octavia grunted. 

Miller interjected, "You see Ontari?" 

Bellamy shook his head. "No. Hold."

Peering through my scope, I saw Clarke toss us a concerned glance. That uneasy feeling in my stomach rises. "Something's wrong."

Another tense moment passed, and then Roan grabbed Clarke and held a blade to her throat. Fear burst in my chest, twisting my stomach around. 

"Do it!" Bellamy ordered. "Do it now!"

Before I could even think about shooting, someone grabbed me roughly from behind. The wind knocked out of me as they forced me against the wall. My gun spilled from my grip. I fought to reach it, but someone punched me in the face. Blood filled my mouth. I struggled against their grip, but whoever they were, they were too strong and completely unhindered by every kick or punch I threw. Fucking Alie. I'd show her what pain was. 

Malicious thoughts churning in my mind, I fought against the bonds that wrapped around my wrists as they led us through the tunnels and forced us to our knees. One of the guards took the time to punch Miller several times. Bryan shifted next to me, and I could almost feel the anger emanating off of him. I too was seething. I'd be damned if I let any of these fuckers hurt my best friends. 

Rather abruptly, he stopped, and looked over at one of the others standing guard. "Let's go. She wants Bellamy."

I nearly choked on my own breath. No. NO! I couldn't, I  _wouldn't_ lose him. As they yanked him roughly to his feet, I too rose up to my full height. "Where are you taking him?"

One of the guards rammed the butt of their gun into my stomach, and I doubled over, gasping in pain. 

"Leave her alone!" Miller shouted. 

Bellamy met my gaze, his eyes gentle and pleading. "Y/n, it's okay. It's okay."

Reluctantly, I sank to my knees. How the hell could it be okay? They were leading him to his death! And I couldn't tear my eyes away from his slowly retreating figure. 

Not but a moment later, a familiar voice called out, "If I were you, I'd hit the deck."

"Murphy?" Bellamy said. A beat of silence passed. "Everyone, hit the ground!" 

Without another thought, I dove to the ground, covering my head. Gunshots fired over my head, and the guards dropped. When I was sure it was over, I lifted my head and got to my feet. Murphy approached me and cut the bonds around my wrists. I offered him a grateful smile. Too much had changed for me to hold a grudge against him. We were all fighting the same war. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked, kind of teasing. Strange to do that with him. Almost as if we were friends. 

Murphy chuckled. "You're welcome."

Indra's familiar face was reassuring, but when my eyes fell on Pike, anger flared. I clenched my hands into fists. Octavia mirrored my rage. 

She turned to Indra. "You're with Pike?" 

Indra pursed her lips. "Only way we get out of here is together."

"He killed Lincoln," Octavia growled. "Put him on his knees. Shot him in the head." 

"O," Bellamy said, and my head snapped to him, rage lighting in my eyes. It wasn't necessarily directed at him, but if he dared take Pike's side again I was going to be pissed. "Indra's right. We need every fighter we can get."

"Did you guys miss the part where it's time to go?" Murphy remarked, obviously disinterested in our feud. 

Bellamy shook his head. "We're not leaving."

Murphy shook his head in disbelief. "We just saved your lives. Why do I think I'm going to regret that?"

"Clarke is in trouble," I said, trying to keep civil and avoid looking at Pike. Murphy I could handle. Pike, not so much. If I'd had my bow there would have been an arrow in his eye. 

Murphy grunted. "Clarke's always in trouble."

"They took her and the Flame to the tower," I explained, stepping closer to him. "It's a safe bet Ontari's there too. Everything we need to stop Alie is in the same place."

"If we go up that tower we won't be able to fight our way out again," Octavia noted, which did not make me feel better. 

I tried my best to be confident and reassuring. My father was a good leader. Maybe I could be too. Confidence was something I was abundant in as a warrior. I was going to need a lot of it today. "If we stop Alie, we won't have to."

Murphy nodded, albeit not very courageously. Fair enough. We were probably walking to our tombs. "Up the tower. Great. You know after this, doing the right thing can kiss my ass."

I snorted. "Let's go."

* * *

We peeked around a corner. At the end of the hall was a large wheel mechanism that controlled the elevator. We needed a strategic way to take them out so we could hop in and hitch a ride to the top. 

Before I was even really sure what was happening, Pike had shot both of them dead. I tried to quell my rage. We weren't supposed to kill anyone! Not our own, not Grounders, not Ice Nation!

"Hey!" Bellamy shouted. "I told you that's not how we're doing this!" 

"They were in our way," Pike responded, heading down the tunnel. 

I found my hands itching to aim the gun at him. I resisted. Barely. "These people are not our enemy. They're being controlled by Alie and we can save them."

"There's gonna be a lot more of these people if we don't move," Miller said, as if that wasn't obvious. "Let's do this."

"I'll bring it down," Indra offered when we finally reached the elevator. She grabbed a level and slowly started to call the lift down. 

"Once we're up you blow the elevator and then climb," Bellamy relayed to Miller and Bryan. 

Bryan nodded. "Destroy the ladder behind us. On it."

Murphy scoffed. "Come on, you do realize we won't have a way down, right?"

"A problem for another day," Indra replied. 

"Let's go!" Bellamy shouted. "Our ride's here."

Murphy gripped the gap between the two doors and pushed them open. He, Bellamy, and I stepped into the elevator, holding tight to our guns. 

"Coming O?" Bellamy asked, his gaze shifting between her and Pike. 

She shook her head. "If anything goes wrong down here, they'll need my help. We got this."

Something told me that was not why she wanted to stay down here. Honestly, if she killed Pike, so be it. He executed Lincoln. Nearly my father. Destroyed Arkadia, essentially. He deserved it. And Octavia deserved her revenge. 

I smiled at her in support, whatever she chose to do, and then she pushed the doors shut. Slowly, the elevator rose. I shifted uncomfortably between the two, trying to swallow back my nervous energy. This would turn out fine. We'd save Clarke. Everyone. It would be fine. 

"You get that we're screwed, right?" Murphy grunted, shattering my feeble attempts at self-reassurance. "Alie already knows that we're coming."

Bellamy looked over at him. "This plan will work." There was a pause of silence. Then he spoke again. "Why are you here?"

Murphy shrugged. "I'm just trying to survive." 

I looked over at him, raising an eyebrow. I sensed some ulterior motive. Something more sincere than that. 

He sighed and looked between the two of us. "You're not the only one here trying to save someone you care about."

I turned my attention to Bellamy, and smiled. For the briefest moment, I took my hand and rested it on his. He too, released one hand from his weapon, and we interlocked fingers. We had another minute to relish in this before we had to fight. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I squeezed his hand. We were so close to being back to normal. 

Not but a few moments later, the elevator rumbled. Bellamy and I snapped our hands apart and took hold of our guns again. 

"Well that's not good," I muttered. 

Outside the doors, the silhouettes of figures approached, grunting and groaning. Fingers poked through the gap between the doors, and Bellamy and Murphy snapped into action, straining to keep the doors closed. I stood behind them, gun raised, ready to shoot if worst came to worst. 

Murphy lit up his electric baton and stuck it through the gap, shocking anyone that came through. It only worked for a minute until two men grabbed at Bellamy, pulling him halfway out of the elevator. Panic exploded in my chest. I couldn't shoot without risking shooting him or Murphy, so I dropped it and grabbed him around the waist, holding tight until Murphy could shock those that were dragging Bellamy out. I pulled him back, and kicked another man in the chest sending him reeling. 

When one stumbled away, another took their place. I shoved the heel of my palm beneath another's nose, and kicked the one that followed in the groin. The next that followed got the jump on me, and kicked me. I fell hard to the floor, and scrambled backwards for my gun. Murphy struck him in the chest and he fell away. Another launched himself at Murphy, leaving the doors wide open. Bellamy closed them, leaving us alone with the man choking Murphy as the elevator began to rise again. 

I scrambled to my feet and pulled him off of Murphy, then punched him in the face. He retaliated with a punch so strong I spun. I spat blood, and turned back, but Bellamy and Murphy had it covered. Instead of hand to hand combat, I scooped up my gun again. 

Murphy pinned the man to the wall, struggling to keep him at bay. "Shoot him, Y/n! Shoot him!" 

Without hesitation, I pulled the trigger. The man went limp and blood splattered on the wall. I panted and lowered the gun. Sweat prickled on my forehead, dripped down to my collarbone. Adrenaline pounded in my veins. I hoped it lasted. I was not ready for the fighting to start so soon. 

"Thank you," Murphy said. 

I nodded, and twitched my lips up in a feeble smile. Hard to be happy under the circumstances. 

Finally, we reached the top. All three of us climbed through a panel on the top of the elevator and waited for the guards to enter. As soon as they did, I tossed one of Mount Weather's knockout canisters into the elevator. A few moments passed, and then both of them were unconscious. We jumped down and burst out of the elevator. I led the way through the halls until we reached the throne room. 

Clarke was in front of the throne, tied to a post, a band of metal locked around her neck. Jaha stood over Ontari's limp body, a metal poker raised. And on the other end of the room, Abby hung from the end of a rope, her skin turning blue and ashen. 

"Bellamy, stop him!" Clarke cried, nodding her head towards Jaha. He did as she said, while Murphy went to help Abby. I rushed towards Clarke, and untied her. 

"Are you okay?" I breathed. 

Her attention was all on Abby. "Is she alive? Is she breathing?"

Murphy nodded. "It's okay. She's breathing."

Clarke sighed in relief and then turned to me. "Jaha has the Flame. Get it!" 

I nodded and rushed to Jaha's unconscious body. I searched his clothes until the Flame fell into my fingers. "Got it."

Clarke grabbed her mom's medical bag and dropped to her knees beside Ontari. Black blood pooled beneath her head, and she didn't appear to be breathing. "We cannot let Ontari die! We have to stop the bleeding! Her pulse is weak."

I handed Clarke the Flame. "What are you gonna do?" 

"I need a flashlight." 

Bellamy pulled out the EMP device Raven gave us to set it up. "First we take out the chip, then we put in the Flame."

Clarke pulled out a flashlight and opened Ontari's eyes, shining the light in them. Panic crossed her face. "Her pupils are unresponsive."

I looked at her, swallowing over the lump in my throat. "What does that mean?"

"She's brain dead. She can't give us the kill code." Clarke closed her eyes in despair. "It's over."

I put my head in my hands, and that sinking feeling I've been carrying around all day consumed me. "We're trapped here."


	15. Perverse Instantiation II

With a gasp, Abby woke from her unconscious state. Since Ontari was brain dead, we used the EMP device on Clarke's mom instead. Maybe she could help us figure out what to do. While Clarke held her mother's head in her lap, I couldn't help my mind wandering to my father. He'd brought Pike here, to Polis. And now I had no idea where he was or what happened to him. I prayed he was okay, that he wasn't under Alie's goddamned influence. Something told me he was. And I couldn't bear the thought of having to hurt him to stop him from hurting my other friends. 

I brushed away a few tears as Bellamy burst into the room with Murphy and Pike. I glared at the latter, but he barely acknowledged me. Bellamy had his gun raised, ready to fire at Abby, but Clarke stopped him, told him she'd taken the chip out. 

"Well what about Ontari?" Murphy asked. "Thought you only had one shot with that thing."

Clarke got to her feet. "I told you. Ontari's no longer an option for the Flame. She's brain dead. Is the floor secure?"

Bellamy nodded. "For now. Jaha and the other guards are tied up in a bedroom."

"We took out the elevator and the ladder as we climbed," Pike added. "The stairs are collapsed. No one's following us."

"Good," Clarke said. "Then we have time."

"What we  _don't_ have is a way down," Murphy input. 

I rolled my eyes and ignored him, instead turning to Clarke. "Time for what?"

"An ascension ceremony."

"Ascension?" Murphy implored. "You just said Ontari wasn't an option. Besides she's still chipped and we no longer have an EMP."

Clarke pursed her lips. "We're not putting the Flame in Ontari's head. We're putting it in mine."

My blood ran cold. I knew she was a fighter, but I didn't know she was insane! How could I just stand by and let her put it in her head when I knew it was going to kill her? 

Bellamy seemed to be thinking the same thing. "Clarke, that thing killed Emerson in seconds. Liquefied his brain." 

"Emerson wasn't connected to a nightblood," Clarke responded curtly. 

"Transfusion?" Pike asked. 

Clarke shook her head. "Not exactly."

"Connected like Mount Weather?" I asked, the bitter taste of bile creeping onto my tongue. 

Jesus now I knew she was insane. But it was so crazy, it just might work. I commended her for her ability to jump into shit like that knowing it might kill her. 

Clarke nodded. "Yes. Everything we need is in Mom's med kit."

Abby shook her head. "No. It's too dangerous. And there are too many variables."

"But no options," Clarke countered. 

Unfortunately, she was right. This was probably the only way we lived and didn't end up in the City of Light. 

Octavia, Bryan, and Miller burst into the room just then. My eyes widened when I took in the gunshot wound in Bryan's leg. He did not look so good. Holy shit, I hope he didn't die. I couldn't lose another friend. 

"Whatever you're doing, you better do it fast," Octavia warned. 

"Why?" Bellamy asked. "What happened?"

Octavia sighed and turned to look at us. "They're climbing."

We rushed to the balcony of the tower and my stomach dropped when I saw everyone lining up ladders against the side of the tower and then heaving themselves up the stone. They were moving fast. It was incredibly unnerving. 

"I have to do this," Clarke whispered to her mom. 

Abby nodded. "Okay. I'll help you." 

* * *

I paced around the throne room, anxiously biting at my fingernails. Bellamy and Pike had greased the balcony, Abby was readying Clarke to filter nightblood, and I was feeling useless. Until there were people to fight - and in no way did I want it to come to that - there wasn't much I could do. 

"There's enough lamp oil to cover every window on the floor except the Commander's chambers," Bellamy explained when Pike set down the empty canister of grease. 

Pike nodded. "Then that's where the fighting starts. We'll dig in there."

When he left, Octavia followed after him, a solemn, stern expression set on her face, like it was stone. 

"O," Bellamy said. "Be careful."

She didn't respond, only turned and stormed out the door. 

"We're all set," Abby announced. 

My eyes strayed to Ontari's body on a slab next to the throne. Wires attached to her veins circulated over to Clarke's arms. I turned away for a moment. It was too familiar a sight. But I couldn't leave Clarke to go through this without all our support, so I stepped up right next to her. As the dark blood pumped into her body, I couldn't ignore the visceral terror in her eyes. She knew this might get her killed. 

"Hey," I teased, hoping it would make her feel better, "try doing that while hanging upside down."

Clarke smiled, if only small. I returned it, and glanced over at Bellamy who didn't seem to appreciate the joke as much. I couldn't blame him. 

"This will work," Clarke reassured her mom who was probably more nervous than the rest of us. 

Abby responded, "And if it doesn't?"

"If it doesn't work, then she dies," Murphy said. Always one to state the morbid obvious. "If she doesn't try, she dies with the rest of us when the climbers get here. If we're gonna do this, I need the Flame."

"Mom, please. He knows what he's doing," Clarke pleaded, unfurling her fingers. "You have to let me go."

Murphy took the Flame from her, and ordered her to lean forward. "Ascende superious."

The Flame's spindly wires came out, and then it all sucked into the back of her neck. Immediately, Clarke started screaming in pain before she passed out. My heart beat faster, louder. 

"Is she okay?" I asked, my voice shaking. 

Abby pressed her fingers to Clarke's neck. "Her heart's racing. Get that thing out of her head."

No one moved to do anything. As terrified as I was that she was dying, I believed she was strong enough to fight through this. And if not, we were out of options anyway. 

"I said, get that thing out of her head!" Abby shouted. 

"No...no," Clarke murmured, her eyes fluttering open. Relief washed over me, so intense it nearly made me stumble. "Not yet." 

"Are you in any pain?" Abby asked. 

"No. I'm okay. I know how to stop Alie," Clarke said, glancing over all of us. "I have to take the chip."

I reeled back. "What?" 

"I have to go into the City of Light and find the kill switch."

Murphy snorted. "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea."

"Clarke, listen to me," Abby said. "Alie wants the Flame. If you take the chip, you're giving it to her. The second someone sees you, Alie's gonna know that you're there. She'll kill you. If your mind dies, you die."

Comforting. 

"The Flame will protect me," Clarke replied, sounding much more confident than I think any of us were feeling about this. "I don't know how I know. I just...know."

Bellamy grabbed a chip and approached her. "I believe you."

"Do you even know what you're looking for?" Abby asked. 

"I'll know when I find it," Clarke said, staring at her mom with gentle, reassuring eyes. I hoped she was right about all of this. Or we'd all die today. 

Abby planted a kiss on her forehead. "May we meet again."

Clarke smiled. "We will."

"We'll keep you safe," Bellamy promised, as he put the chip on her tongue. She swallowed it, closed her eyes, and was gone. 

While Clarke's mind was astray in the City of Light, I paced around, keeping one hand tight on my pistol. This waiting was insufferable. Agonizing. 

"Hey," Bellamy said, putting a hand on my shoulder, bringing my walking to a stop. "Take it easy."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You've known me how long, and think  _that's_ going to be effective?" 

He chuckled and shook his head. "Clarke's going to be fine. And so are the rest of us."

I sighed. "I know. I just...I can't help being worried. We're always fighting a war. Fighting something. Those three months before Alie are my happy place, you know. I really thought we had peace. And even if we didn't, it would have been okay because I still would have had you-" 

"Hey, hey," Bellamy brushed his fingers along my cheek. My skin tingled. "You'll always have me." 

"Yeah, but like, you know we were together. Really in love. I want that back," I murmured, trying to keep my voice from wobbling. If I cried about this right now I was not going to be in any shape for fighting once the climbers reach the top. 

Without another warning, Bellamy put a hand behind my head and drew our lips together. Our tongues locked in a fiery passionate kiss that left my head spinning and my blood buzzing. I closed my eyes and initiated another, longing for more. God, I'd missed him so much. Being intimate with him. While now was not the most opportune moment, I didn't care. Today we might die, and I wanted to go out resolving things with the man I loved. 

"Our love was never gone," Bellamy whispered in my ear when we pulled away. "And it never will be, got it? I've never loved anyone like I love you Y/n. Don't forget that."

"Jesus," I murmured, beaming at him, catching my breath. "I missed that." 

"Make it out alive today, and you can have a lot more than that firecracker," Bellamy teased, winking at me. 

I smirked. "Cute." 

I stepped away from him and both of us headed down the hall to stand with the others. We passed Bryan and Miller in the hall. The elation melted away as I took in Bryan's state. Sweat plastered his hair to his forehead and he couldn't stand on his left leg. I moved to help him. 

"You left her with Pike?" Bellamy said, obviously talking about Octavia. He picked up the pace, probably to go make sure she wasn't skewering him. Again, not that I cared. 

"You've looked better," I said to Bryan as I took his other arm, taking more weight off of Miller. 

Bryan chuckled weakly. "You haven't."

I exchanged a glance with Miller who was smirking at me. I rolled my eyes. Dorks. Halfway towards the throne room, we heard shouts echoing from down by the Commander's chambers. Immediately, we all had the same thought to turn around. Outside the room, Bellamy, Pike, and Octavia were pressing their weight against the shaking doors. Guess the climbers were here. 

Together, we all ran about grabbing as much furniture as we could, and stacked it against the doors. It still didn't seem to be doing much.

"This isn't gonna hold for long!" Bryan shouted. 

"How the hell did they even get in here?" Miller groaned. 

Bellamy shook his head. "Doesn't matter. This is where we make our stand."

"Sounds like there's a lot of them," I remarked, grunting with effort as I pushed with all my might against a chair, holding it against the stack. Another slam on the other end of the door send a shock reverberating through my arms. I grit my teeth and stood my ground. 

"May be time to go get guns!" Miller suggested. 

"We got something better than guns," Pike replied from around the corner. "Surprise."

As much as I hated to listen to him, it was a good point. We all backed away from the door and turned down the hallway. We filled it with water ankle deep that I stood in while the others hid around the corner. My heart dropped as I saw my father leading the charge. Fighting back my distress, I held up my hands and kept my voice level. 

"Wait, Dad," I said, forcing myself to meet his eyes. It didn't seem like there was anything behind them. But I knew he was in there somewhere. I would save him from Alie. "Wait. I give up. I'll take the chip."

Dad waded through the water towards me, the rest following suit. Perfect. 

"Good," he replied. "No one else has to die. Ever. Maybe you can convince Indra of that."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "She's alive?" 

Dad nodded. "Yes. On the cross. Suffering needlessly."

I swallowed bile. So that's what those were used for. Jesus. Sickening. I tried not to let my disgust show on my face. At least that knowledge makes me feel less horrible about doing this to my father. "NOW!" 

Bellamy and Miller rounded the corner with lit up electric batons. I hopped up onto a crate as they landed in the water. Electricity crackled through the water, knocking everyone standing in it unconscious. I hated to see my father fall like that, but it had to be done. 

"The charge is clear," Pike announced. "Hurry up, let's get their weapons."

We all waded through the water and snatched up their guns and carried them all to the throne room. We barred the doors shut. Here was where we were going to win or lose. 

"This is it," Bellamy said. "We need to keep Clarke safe. Give her time. They're unarmed, but won't feel pain. And they won't stop until they're out cold."

"Copy that," Miller replied. "Go for knockout."

Abby cocked a gun, and I looked at her with an eyebrow raised. Guns were not options here. She shrugged. "Only if they get past you."

I nodded, and turned to the door as slamming echoed from the other end. My knuckles whitened around the shock baton I held in my hand. I looked at Bellamy, offering him a smile before the doors splintered open. I turned on the baton, and electrocuted anyone that came near me. It was easy at first, but then more flowed in, and for every one I fought in front, another sneaked up behind me. One man grabbed my wrist and another kicked my hand. The baton spun from my grip. I kicked them both in the gut and punched them in the face. They spilled to the ground. 

To my right I saw my father take Bellamy down, pinning him to the ground, his hands wrapped around his throat. Despair shot through me, caging in my heart. 

"No!" I shouted, rushing towards him. "Bellamy!" 

Before I could reach him, one of the chipped people with a broken metal poker was upon me. I didn't feel the pain at first. All I knew was that there was a shard of metal poking through my lower left side. Blood blossomed on my shirt, the stain growing too wide for comfort. Time slowed, as I took a shaky breath and pressed my fingers around the shard. Oh god. I was going to die. 

Vision doubling, I stumbled backwards and fell to the ground. Sharp pain manifested as I finally felt the wound, and I screamed. Mind hazy and clouded, I rolled over and crawled towards my baton. I barely made it a few paces before someone's foot came down on my hand. I grit my teeth and turned onto my back, ready to kick upwards, fight with all I had even as sweat soaked my shirt and breathing became trying. But then a woman dropped down onto me, clutching at my throat. I couldn't do anything to stop her.

Black spots danced in my eyes. My lungs burned worse than the wound in my side. Feebly, I tried to pry the woman's fingers off of my throat, but to no avail. I sank deeper into darkness, thankful that I'd at least made up with Bellamy. It was a comfort. And now, I would see my mother again. That was a comfort too. Strange how we've all been fighting so desperately for our lives when there's so much comfort in death. 

Just as I was about to slip away, she released her grip on me. I gasped and sat up. All around the room, those who were chipped stumbled about, eyes wide with fear and confusion, some screaming in pain. Clarke had done it. She'd shut Alie down. 

Pain arced through my body as I pulled myself up into a sitting position. I groaned and blinked away a few tears as I touched the tender skin around where the shard was impaled. Shit. At least I was still here. I pushed through the shock, and kept my wits about me. I watched as Abby took the Flame out of Clarke's head, watched as Murphy hugged the woman who was choking me the same way I hugged Bellamy. I was glad he found some happiness. He deserved it.

We were all safe. 

I met Bellamy's eyes. The euphoria I felt at seeing him alive and okay gave me enough strength to rise to my feet. I beam at him, my hand still clutching at my wound. His gaze shifted down to the shard, and his eyes widened. Bellamy raced over to me, catching me before I fell. I hadn't even realized how weak I was now. 

"Jesus, Shannon," He exclaimed. "That looks bad."

"I'll be fine," I replied, though the weakness in my legs and the chill throughout my body argued otherwise. "We're all safe and alive. And I get to hold you to your promise of something more." 

Bellamy laughed. It was the first genuine laugh I'd heard from him in a long time. "Once you're healed."

I looked over at Abby who was comforting my sobbing father. "We're gonna be okay."

Leaning on Bellamy's arm, I limped over to Clarke. She took in my wound, but before she could order me to lie down or anything of the like, I enveloped her in a light hug. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet," she murmured back. 

I pulled away, confused. "What?" 

"Clarke," Bellamy said, "you're not acting like someone who just saved the world."

Teary eyed, she looked between the two of us. "Because we didn't. Not yet."

I ran a hand through my hair. There was always something. Tonight, I just wanted to revel in the fact that we were rid of that bitch Alie. Whatever it was that was coming for us next, we could worry about it tomorrow.

A grunt of anger pulled our attention away from each other. I turned over my shoulder to find Octavia's face twisted in cold rage, her sword running straight through Pike. She glared at him as she watched him fall. I only stared, feeling rather empty. I thought maybe it'd be cathartic to watch him die. But it wasn't. Not sad either. I was rather relieved to see him dead. 

I interlocked my fingers with Bellamy's as we watched Octavia sheath her bloodstained sword and stride out of the room. 

Maybe she would be okay too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that's it for book three! Might take a break before I start the next in the series, but it will come for sure! Hope y'all enjoyed this one!


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